bmb144 Posted July 9, 2008 Share Posted July 9, 2008 I've found this thread interesting really. I voted yes. Being a tad older than average (32) maybe my perspective is different but my SD was quite blunt about the subject. He felt that dating was a good and healthy thing to do and part of the process. Just focusing one one goal say the convent is not balanced and could be the wrong choice. There is nothing wrong with having a good relationship(s) with someone of the opposite sex. Going out, having fun is a normal thing to do. Go out in groups, do things like bowling etc, and enjoy friendship in general. In my own case I am discerning both vocation and marriage. I have met a guy, we do go out, he comes to my place, we hang out and other friends are shocked that we can do that, without the over heated problems that can come. For me its simple, I told him straight up that I am looking at religious life and being Catholic himself, although lapsed he does understand. If the time comes when I am sure its to be religious life he will step back, and we will remain friends. If not I have a firm foundation of pure friendship that could turn into something more. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DominicanPhilosophy Posted July 9, 2008 Share Posted July 9, 2008 For me, when I first began to hear the call, I was dating. Slowly, I started to become less and less interested in the relationship and finally we broke up [it was a mutual, amicable split, though!]. I didn't know why I felt that I had needed to remain single, but I just felt deep down inside that I needed to. Over a series of months, I began to realize why; Christ was drawing me closer to Himself and helping me to start my discernment process. I was actually telling a friend the other day on the phone that, even if one is discerning married life, I believe that it is vital to NOT date for a few months. Prayer is the backbone of any and all vocations, any and all states-of-life, and without sufficient time to listen solely to Jesus speaking to our hearts, we will most likely end up rushing ourselves into something we are not ready for yet. Similar to "fervor of the convert," we could simply fall victim to "fervor of the moment," truly believing we know what God is calling us to, but having believed incorrectly due to lack of time spent listening to Him. Especially today, with all the noise and hustle and bustle in the world, we need to take some time for silence. Even just sitting for fifteen minutes a day without the TV on, without the computer on, without lying down [sleep is very tempting!], just sit and simply "be." Like in Matthew 6:25-34 (I believe...), we need to watch and learn from the way the wild flowers grow. They aren't big and strong, they aren't noisy, but they just simply let themselves "be" in the Light of Christ; in His Light they blossom and grow into something extremely beautiful and incapable of being replicated by man. So, no matter what you feel God is calling you to - though discernment is a life-long process - take some time "off" from dating and just listen to Christ. He'll lead us to who He wants us to marry, if that is what we are called to, and even if we think that dating will help us narrow down our future spouse, we should let things play out in His perfect timing. Adam and Eve brought original sin into the world because of what they did, yes, but why was what they did so wrong? Because they were [b]not ready[/b]! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aalpha1989 Posted July 9, 2008 Share Posted July 9, 2008 [quote name='DominicanPhilosophy' post='1595793' date='Jul 9 2008, 03:04 AM']For me, when I first began to hear the call, I was dating. Slowly, I started to become less and less interested in the relationship and finally we broke up [it was a mutual, amicable split, though!]. I didn't know why I felt that I had needed to remain single, but I just felt deep down inside that I needed to. Over a series of months, I began to realize why; Christ was drawing me closer to Himself and helping me to start my discernment process. I was actually telling a friend the other day on the phone that, even if one is discerning married life, I believe that it is vital to NOT date for a few months. Prayer is the backbone of any and all vocations, any and all states-of-life, and without sufficient time to listen solely to Jesus speaking to our hearts, we will most likely end up rushing ourselves into something we are not ready for yet. Similar to "fervor of the convert," we could simply fall victim to "fervor of the moment," truly believing we know what God is calling us to, but having believed incorrectly due to lack of time spent listening to Him. Especially today, with all the noise and hustle and bustle in the world, we need to take some time for silence. Even just sitting for fifteen minutes a day without the TV on, without the computer on, without lying down [sleep is very tempting!], just sit and simply "be." Like in Matthew 6:25-34 (I believe...), we need to watch and learn from the way the wild flowers grow. They aren't big and strong, they aren't noisy, but they just simply let themselves "be" in the Light of Christ; in His Light they blossom and grow into something extremely beautiful and incapable of being replicated by man. So, no matter what you feel God is calling you to - though discernment is a life-long process - take some time "off" from dating and just listen to Christ. He'll lead us to who He wants us to marry, if that is what we are called to, and even if we think that dating will help us narrow down our future spouse, we should let things play out in His perfect timing. Adam and Eve brought original sin into the world because of what they did, yes, but why was what they did so wrong? Because they were [b]not ready[/b]![/quote] I just want to say that you are really cool, and all your discernment posts make me feel happy. Discernment is one of my HUGE struggles, and I'm not good at waiting... But it's easier sometimes to know that other people go through the same stuff and have found ways to settle their fears and anxieties. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
brgabeosb Posted July 9, 2008 Share Posted July 9, 2008 [quote name='aalpha1989' post='1595809' date='Jul 9 2008, 03:04 AM']I just want to say that you are really cool, and all your discernment posts make me feel happy. Discernment is one of my HUGE struggles, and I'm not good at waiting... But it's easier sometimes to know that other people go through the same stuff and have found ways to settle their fears and anxieties.[/quote] Hey guys and gals, Please check out this article I did on this topic via our blog, svamonks.blogspot.com. You can find the article by clicking [url="http://svamonks.blogspot.com/2008/06/this-is-getting-serious.html"]here[/url]. It is written for guys looking at religious life but the ladies I'm sure will find some great information as well in regards to serious discernment!!! Br. Gabriel Myriam, OSB [color="#000080"][size=5]SVAmonks[/size][/color] [url="http://www.svamonks.blogspot.com"]SVAmonks[/url] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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