How Did You Find Your Spouse (or Boy/girlfriend)?

[picchick]

[quote]Found my wife on the school bus.

It's really not fair, I exude machismo. [/quote]

Edited May 18, 2008 by picchick

[MIKolbe]

yeah.. meeting someone on the bus IS pretty funny!

[Laudate_Dominum]

[url="http://www.phatmass.com/phorum/"]http://www.phatmass.com/phorum/[/url]

[XIX]

[quote name='alicemary' post='1530714' date='May 16 2008, 07:22 PM']Dont want to discourage you, but if you are over the age of 30, it will be very difficult to meet the kind of Catholic mate you are looking for. Most have been divorced at least once, many 2 or 3 times before. When you get to my advanced age in the 50,s it is next to impossible. I have very often dated outside my religion, that is not an issue for me. I certainly will not have children, that has also not been an issue.
You could try your church, but if there is a single man, the woman swarm like bees to honey. Same thing with most singles clubs.
You could try an internet site,there are some devoted to Catholics, and you know how to be cautious.
Write me off phorm and we can chat if you are interested. I don't mean to discourage you, but this is not easy!!
Alicemary[/quote]
I'm sorry, but I really have to confront you in love. I've known lots of bright Catholics who have found terrific spouses past the age of thirty. I know several others who are in their thirties and meeting new people that seem to be great matches. And age 28 seems to be the threshold--people who marry at age 28 or later tend to have more successful marriages. That's not to say that people should refuse to marry until their 28th birthday, but it is foolish to think that meeting people is that much harder at age 30.

It's not easy, but God has a plan for everyone. Unfortunately, a lot of people settle for less than their ideal mate, thinking that a so-so spouse is better than nothing.
[quote]You could try your church, but if there is a single man, the woman swarm like bees to honey. Same thing with most singles clubs.[/quote]
I just want to point out that the single guy to single girl ratio isn't THAT exaggerated where every single guy is going to have a dozen women swarm to him. There seems to be more Catholic women out there who are looking for a good man, than vice versa, but the difference isn't all that you're making it out to be. Either that, or I'm just such a walking turn-off that I can't even get the dozens of desperate women to talk to me.

Anyways, trust me when I say that a woman does not increase her chances at ending up with a guy when she starts swarming him. I'm not saying that a woman should refuse to talk to a guy she's attracted to, but as a general rule of thumb it's better to let him make the first move. Of course, sometimes a guy and a gal will just naturally pursue each other without any tremendous effort--I'd say that's ideal, actually. Especially if they take a "friends first" approach to courtship. But my point is that a guy is usually turned off a bit when a girl starts pursuing him. The only exception I can think of is if a girl pursues a guy that already has a huge crush on her. Then he'll be happy about it. But if he really likes her that much, he's probably going to fall over himself to get to her anyways.

Bottom line: It works a lot better on all fronts when the guy pursues a gal. Even the Bible often refers to the woman as a great prize, who is more precious than anything earthly. That's not to say that the woman is a possession by any means, but a woman's heart is something that a man desires to win over. We want to slay the dragon, as it were.

[Lil Red]

+J.M.J.+
i met him through friends on the local streets hangout. i hated him and he hated me for the first year we knew each other. then he knew he wanted to date me when i was telling him and other friends about a date i had and he got jealous.

i was not a practicing Catholic at the time, and i'm still working on his conversion.

[stbernardLT]

Met at youth group, but despised each other for 2 yrs. Then dated for 2. Now mariied for 7 with kid number six on the way. We have done youth ministry fulltime since getting married. God has blessed us beyond belief, and it all started with each other.

[Alycin]

[quote name='XIX' post='1531914' date='May 17 2008, 09:59 PM']Bottom line: It works a lot better on all fronts when the guy pursues a gal. Even the Bible often refers to the woman as a great prize, who is more precious than anything earthly. That's not to say that the woman is a possession by any means, but a woman's heart is something that a man desires to win over. We want to slay the dragon, as it were.[/quote]

Wild At Heart, anyone?

[Alycin]

[quote name='Lil Red' post='1531921' date='May 17 2008, 10:07 PM']+J.M.J.+
i met him through friends on the local streets hangout. i hated him and he hated me for the first year we knew each other. then he knew he wanted to date me when i was telling him and other friends about a date i had and he got jealous.

i was not a practicing Catholic at the time, and i'm still working on his conversion. [/quote]

Prayers for you and and especially for your hubby's conversion.


I love love stories!

Edited May 18, 2008 by Alycin

[jeffpugh]

[quote name='alicemary' post='1530714' date='May 16 2008, 06:22 PM']Dont want to discourage you, but if you are over the age of 30, it will be very difficult to meet the kind of Catholic mate you are looking for. Most have been divorced at least once, many 2 or 3 times before. When you get to my advanced age in the 50,s it is next to impossible. I have very often dated outside my religion, that is not an issue for me. I certainly will not have children, that has also not been an issue.
You could try your church, but if there is a single man, the woman swarm like bees to honey. Same thing with most singles clubs.
You could try an internet site,there are some devoted to Catholics, and you know how to be cautious.
Write me off phorm and we can chat if you are interested. I don't mean to discourage you, but this is not easy!!
Alicemary[/quote]
So what she's saying is, go for the next best in the faith... Orthodox or Anglican.

[quote name='Cure of Ars' post='1531037' date='May 17 2008, 12:09 AM']Need to make that into a movie. Not that I would like it. Girls smell funny.[/quote]
Lawl.

[quote name='Laudate_Dominum' post='1531895' date='May 17 2008, 09:50 PM'][url="http://www.phatmass.com/phorum/"]http://www.phatmass.com/phorum/[/url][/quote]


[quote name='Alycin' post='1532004' date='May 17 2008, 11:29 PM']Wild At Heart, anyone?

[/quote]
Good book. I recommend it. Read it, discern it. It's not the be-all-end-all, but it sure puts things into perspective, and he has some pretty sweet exegesis at some points. And if Elderedge was Catholic, he'd prolly love the Blessed Virgin (just read the book... you might see it).

[quote name='Alycin' post='1532005' date='May 17 2008, 11:30 PM']Prayers for you and and especially for your hubby's conversion.


I love love stories! [/quote]

me too!... I think... in a manly type of way...

[XIX]

[quote name='Alycin' post='1532004' date='May 18 2008, 12:29 AM']Wild At Heart, anyone?

[/quote]
You know it's funny, that is a really good book and I read it, but it didn't do a whole lot for me. I dunno, I just wasn't feeling all of the outdoors-ey references. And I didn't connect with his writing style. But I guess he must have rubbed off on me...at least a little.

[XIX]

[quote name='Alycin' post='1530645' date='May 16 2008, 06:00 PM']I think d ust should start a catholic dating section of the site and call it PhatMatch.[/quote]

[CatherineM]

I was over 40, couldn't find a truly Catholic man where I was, and a monk while I was on retreat recommended Ave Maria Singles. That's where I found my husband. They said you needed to be open to the Holy Spirit leading you where God wanted you to be. I did, but I sure wish he could have willed me to a little warmer place.

[Alycin]

[quote name='Sacred Music Man' post='1532034' date='May 17 2008, 11:52 PM']me too!... I think... in a manly type of way...[/quote]


Of course! LOL

[Mr.Cat]

I may post this later...

Edited May 18, 2008 by Mr.CatholicCat

[mommas_boy]

Still looking ...

I'm having kind of a tough time at it here, lately. I'm a recent transplant up here to Chicago for work, and most of the Catholic women that I seem to meet are in their mid-late 20's at the youngest (I'll be 22 in July). Now, I don't have a problem with dating older women; actually, I prefer mature women over the more squirrel-ly ones, but I don't view maturity as something tied to age, of course. Instead, my problem seems to be that I'll get to know a woman, and she'll seem interested or at least very friendly for a while, but when the conversation inevitably turns to what we do professionally, it starts becoming very clear very quickly that I'm younger than what she originally thought, and this seems to put the conversation on ice. I never actually volunteer my age, and will say that "I'm a teacher" when I've only actually student-taught, but questions like "How long have you been teaching?" are more difficult to avoid gracefully (in the sense that I mean "avoid").

To be sure, I'm not trying to hide my age, just to make sure that my age isn't the only factor that a woman is looking at when she's trying to figure out whether or not she's attracted to me. I would date younger women closer to my age; it's just that good Catholic ones are harder to find at my age.