Confession For Couples?

[MissScripture]

A friend and I were wondering if confession is/can ever be done as a couple when people are married, because technically they have become one.

[cappie]

Can. 960 [b]Individual[/b] and integral confession and absolution constitute [b]the sole ordinary means [/b]by which a member of the faithful who is conscious of grave sin is reconciled with God and with the Church. Physical or moral impossibility alone excuses from such confession, in which case reconciliation may be attained by other means also.

Can. 961 §1 General absolution, without prior individual confession, cannot be given to a number of penitents together, unless:

1° danger of death threatens and there is not time for the priest or priests to hear the confessions of the individual penitents;

2° there exists a grave necessity, that is, given the number of penitents, there are not enough confessors available properly to hear the individual confessions within an appropriate time, so that without fault of their own the penitents are deprived of the sacramental grace or of holy communion for a lengthy period of time. A sufficient necessity is not, however, considered to exist when confessors cannot be available merely because of a great gathering of penitents, such as can occur on some major feastday or pilgrimage.

§2 It is for the diocesan Bishop to judge whether the conditions required in §1, n. 2 are present; mindful of the criteria agreed with the other members of the Episcopal Conference, he can determine the cases of such necessity.

[CatherineM]

I don't know about traditional confession, but as part of our pre-marriage counseling, there was a point where we were filling out these kind of disclosure forms, and our pastor just looked at us and said, "if there is anything you both need to confess to each other, this is a good time, and a safe place to do it."

[Pontifex]

Sacramental confession must be alone with a priest.


Also canon 961 paragraphs 1 and 2 both have to be present at the same time for general absolution to be considered. It's not an either or type of thing as some have misinterpreted. (not here, but elsewhere.)

Peac,e

P-fex

[franciscanheart]

thanks for the quick answers cappie and pontifex! and can i just say... the idea of a joint confession is SO WEIRD TO ME. like, really... REALLY weird to me.

[CatherineM]

I did take part in one of those group confession things when it looked like we were going to take a direct hit from hurricane Charlie. The thing with my husband was weird only because I'm so boring that I didn't have anything juicy to confess to him/in front of him.

[goldenchild17]

[quote name='hugheyforlife' post='1521981' date='May 7 2008, 10:59 PM']thanks for the quick answers cappie and pontifex! and can i just say... the idea of a joint confession is SO WEIRD TO ME. like, really... REALLY weird to me.[/quote]

srsly. I couldn't imagine anyone wanting to do that. But I guess I've heard stranger ideas.

[goldenchild17]

[quote name='Pontifex' post='1521971' date='May 7 2008, 10:45 PM']Sacramental confession must be alone with a priest.[/quote]

what he said.

[dUSt]

[quote name='hugheyforlife' post='1521981' date='May 7 2008, 11:59 PM']the idea of a joint confession is SO WEIRD TO ME. like, really... REALLY weird to me.[/quote]
I'm offended. I've made confessions about joints plenty of times.

[goldenchild17]

[quote name='dust (the ultra-handsome' post='1522060' date='May 8 2008, 12:50 AM']I'm offended. I've made confessions about joints plenty of times.[/quote]

[Archaeology cat]

Okay, related question: if I have my infant son with me, and I'm not with anyone who can hold him while I go to confession, would it still be valid if I had him in there with me? (Obviously this isn't the ideal, and it is generally the plan to have my husband or a friend there who could hold Kieran, but I thought I'd ask out of curiosity)

[franciscanheart]

[quote name='dust (the ultra-handsome' post='1522060' date='May 8 2008, 12:50 AM']I'm offended. I've made confessions about joints plenty of times.[/quote]

[Madame Vengier]

[quote name='MissScripture' post='1521592' date='May 7 2008, 05:00 PM']A friend and I were wondering if confession is/can ever be done as a couple when people are married, because technically they have become one.[/quote]

I have absolutely heard of couples doing this but I find it very strange and invasive. I mean, this takes "keep no secrets from your spouse" to a whole other level. And it doesn't respect the individual's relationship with Christ. I will have to read over the norms posted by other members, but I've always found this very, very strange.

[Mercy me]

Thanks to both Fr. Cappie and Fr. Pontifex for the clarification. I have recently heard of this and it struck me as wrong. Now I know how to address if it comes up again.

[prose]

[quote name='Archaeology cat' post='1522092' date='May 8 2008, 02:51 AM']Okay, related question: if I have my infant son with me, and I'm not with anyone who can hold him while I go to confession, would it still be valid if I had him in there with me? (Obviously this isn't the ideal, and it is generally the plan to have my husband or a friend there who could hold Kieran, but I thought I'd ask out of curiosity)[/quote]

I brought my kids in with me when they were little. No priest ever said anything. (By littl eI mean up to when they were about 2-3).