Farsight one Posted May 7, 2008 Share Posted May 7, 2008 So I just watched Bella. Awesome movie, but it brought a question to my mind - one that, knowing some of my friends, could potentially be an actual situation that I am placed in some day. I was hoping for input and I placed it here in case there is dissent. So, the question is - finding myself unable to deter a friend from having an abortion, and knowing that it is a traumatic and painful experience for the mother, could I accompany her to a clinic as a "shoulder to cry on"(and nothing more)? Would driving her there be considered assisting in the procurement of an abortion(cause for excommunication)? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KnightofChrist Posted May 7, 2008 Share Posted May 7, 2008 As a catholic you may do nether. Driving her there certainly is assisting in the procurement, just as being the driver for a robbery is assisting the robbers. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kujo Posted May 7, 2008 Share Posted May 7, 2008 Could a Catholic wait outside the door for the person to come out? I can see this dilemna. How far is our ministry to go in this situation? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Deb Posted May 7, 2008 Share Posted May 7, 2008 Please do not accompany her to the clinic. You will carry it on your shoulders the rest of your life. And..........if you do find yourself in that situation with a friend, please let them know that they will bear the guilt of that act for the rest of their life. Whatever pressures or fears are leading them to that decision, they need to know that God will provide a way for them to keep their child or give it up for adoption. Please refer them to [url="http://www.Rachelsvineyard.org"]www.Rachelsvineyard.org[/url] BEFORE they have the abortion and ask them to just please read the stories if nothing else. If possible, read it all. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thy Geekdom Come Posted May 7, 2008 Share Posted May 7, 2008 I agree. Don't accompany a person to the clinic, except to plead that the woman save the life of her child (which wouldn't be so much accompanying as pursuing). I'm not sure what their intention was in Bella, but I recall finding it odd, too. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brother Adam Posted May 7, 2008 Share Posted May 7, 2008 Drive her to a Eucharistic adoration chapel. Refuse to help her murder her child. What if the baby was already born and she wanted to kill it? Would you help her put the child in the oven and turn it on, or take a knife and cut the baby to pieces? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Madame Vengier Posted May 7, 2008 Share Posted May 7, 2008 I wouldn't go with someone to a clinic to have an abortion. If they haven't listened to reason and positive encouragement right up to the point of going in there, then the decision now--unfortunately--will have to rest squarely on the woman having the abortion. She made her decision and she will have to go through it herself. It's called tough love. She's going to need some Project Rachel help afterwards, though. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CatherineM Posted May 7, 2008 Share Posted May 7, 2008 Being difficult to go through alone is one of the hurdles God puts in our paths. Maybe if she finds it too hard to do alone, she won't do it at all. Your supporting her, and giving her a shoulder to cry on may make it easier for her to go through with it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Deb Posted May 7, 2008 Share Posted May 7, 2008 If it was one of my friends or neices, I would be tempted to kidnap them and hold them til they had the baby. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kujo Posted May 7, 2008 Share Posted May 7, 2008 [quote name='CatherineM' post='1521269' date='May 7 2008, 12:43 PM']Being difficult to go through alone is one of the hurdles God puts in our paths. Maybe if she finds it too hard to do alone, she won't do it at all. Your supporting her, and giving her a shoulder to cry on may make it easier for her to go through with it.[/quote] Of all the responses, THIS one is the most compelling. Thank you, Catherine. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
prose Posted May 7, 2008 Share Posted May 7, 2008 My best friend had an abortion. She desperately wanted me to go with her. I refused. I told her that I didn't agree with her decision. She completely stopped speaking to me for a while, claiming I was being "judgmental". Eventually she came around and we have shared tears over it. It was not a hard decision for me to make. I did not want to give even the impression that I thought that this was a viable option. I didn't want her to think that this was something that she decided and, although I wouldn't choose it, I supported her decision. I wasn't even barely becoming a practicing Catholic at the time. I just knew it was wrong. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Altari Posted May 8, 2008 Share Posted May 8, 2008 No, it isn't acceptable. You cannot stand in their way physically or force them not to, but you can also refuse to be a participant in the act. Ultimately it is their body, and ultimately it is a choice they have to make for themselves, yet that doesn't mean you must accept all choices a friend makes. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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