toservelove Posted April 18, 2008 Share Posted April 18, 2008 Hello to everyone here, This is my first time posting. I have been discerning for about 3 years now. I thought I had found the community I would join. I made an application and have been visiting/ discerning with them for about two years. They are a semi-cloistered, contemplative Benedictine community. They are a wonderful community, but it has become apparent to me, and to them, that I am drawn to a community that wears a habit and is more traditional. I'm a little frustrated because now I feel it's back to square one, and it can be difficult figuring out which communities to see. I have just started seeing a new spiritual director. I'm not sure how it's going to work out, since it is a new relationship. When I found out about Rosalind Moss' new community my imagination went crazy and I couldn't get it out of my head. I'm in contact with her and will continue to speak with her. But, I liked the contemplative part of the Benedictine monastery I was interested in and The Daughters of Mary is more apostolic. I'm also a "late vocation" (40 years old) so some of my choices are limited. So...finally the question: How do you know your spirituality--not just active vs. comtemplative, but Augustinian vs Dominican vs. Benedictine vs. Marian vs....? How do you narrow down the communities you ought to look into? Do I just continue going as I've been going... which seems to be wherever the Holy Spirit leads me? Thank you so much for listening to my story, and for any help you may give me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Saint Therese Posted April 18, 2008 Share Posted April 18, 2008 (edited) A sister once told me that its like you have the charism inside of you and you'll know you've found the right community/order when their charism matches that charism inside of you.So, with that in mind, I guess the first thing to do would be to study and understand your spirituality and the spirituality of the order you're interested in. Edited April 18, 2008 by Saint Therese Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thomist-in-Training Posted April 18, 2008 Share Posted April 18, 2008 Well, I'm not a professional at this but I will say hello since no one has yet! Welcome to Phatmass. You know, I thought I had figured out how one knew one's spirituality--read books focussing on particular orders, and spend a little time here and there, and read websites and pamphlets (of course hoping to visit when possible)--but God has thrown me a curveball and exactly where I said "I will never be a _____" is where I'm looking. So I would say "go with the flow." There are many habited Benedictine communities (no?), I don't think you have to "give up" looking at that charism, if I were you I would look into both those and the new congregation you mentioned, and see how it goes. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
brendan1104 Posted April 18, 2008 Share Posted April 18, 2008 Have you looked at the Benedictine Sisters of Mary, Queen of Apostles? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
puellapaschalis Posted April 18, 2008 Share Posted April 18, 2008 I first heard a bunch of Benedictine monks singing Vespers in Latin when I was a kid; St. Benedict hasn't let go of me since! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cathoholic_anonymous Posted April 18, 2008 Share Posted April 18, 2008 [quote name='toservelove' post='1502355' date='Apr 18 2008, 05:19 AM']Hello to everyone here, This is my first time posting. I have been discerning for about 3 years now. I thought I had found the community I would join. I made an application and have been visiting/ discerning with them for about two years. They are a semi-cloistered, contemplative Benedictine community. They are a wonderful community, but it has become apparent to me, and to them, that I am drawn to a community that wears a habit and is more traditional. I'm a little frustrated because now I feel it's back to square one, and it can be difficult figuring out which communities to see. I have just started seeing a new spiritual director. I'm not sure how it's going to work out, since it is a new relationship. When I found out about Rosalind Moss' new community my imagination went crazy and I couldn't get it out of my head. I'm in contact with her and will continue to speak with her. But, I liked the contemplative part of the Benedictine monastery I was interested in and The Daughters of Mary is more apostolic. I'm also a "late vocation" (40 years old) so some of my choices are limited. So...finally the question: How do you know your spirituality--not just active vs. comtemplative, but Augustinian vs Dominican vs. Benedictine vs. Marian vs....? How do you narrow down the communities you ought to look into? Do I just continue going as I've been going... which seems to be wherever the Holy Spirit leads me? Thank you so much for listening to my story, and for any help you may give me.[/quote] I think you should go slowly and take plenty of time for prayer. God will lead you. Don't worry about learning the difference between all the spiritualities - you will know your home when you find it, and that's the most important thing. Regarding communities with a contemplative/active blend, the [url="http://www.carmelitedcj.org"]Carmelite Sisters of the Divine Heart of Jesus[/url] come to mind. They have an apostolate, but they lean more to the contemplative side - daily Mass, Divine Office, rosary, private prayer, etc. They do have an age limit, but it says on their site that exceptions can be made. Another wonderful community (this one enclosed and contemplative) that accepts 'late' vocations and that I would seriously consider if I were in the US is the [url="http://www.heartsawake.com"]Carmel of Terre Haute[/url]. I realise that this post is top-heavy with Carmelites, but Carmelite communities are the ones I know the best. Welcome to PM and may God bless you in your journey. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gemma Posted April 18, 2008 Share Posted April 18, 2008 [quote name='toservelove' post='1502355' date='Apr 18 2008, 12:19 AM']Hello to everyone here, This is my first time posting. I have been discerning for about 3 years now. I thought I had found the community I would join. I made an application and have been visiting/ discerning with them for about two years. They are a semi-cloistered, contemplative Benedictine community. They are a wonderful community, but it has become apparent to me, and to them, that I am drawn to a community that wears a habit and is more traditional. I'm a little frustrated because now I feel it's back to square one, and it can be difficult figuring out which communities to see. I have just started seeing a new spiritual director. I'm not sure how it's going to work out, since it is a new relationship. When I found out about Rosalind Moss' new community my imagination went crazy and I couldn't get it out of my head. I'm in contact with her and will continue to speak with her. But, I liked the contemplative part of the Benedictine monastery I was interested in and The Daughters of Mary is more apostolic. I'm also a "late vocation" (40 years old) so some of my choices are limited. So...finally the question: How do you know your spirituality--not just active vs. comtemplative, but Augustinian vs Dominican vs. Benedictine vs. Marian vs....? How do you narrow down the communities you ought to look into? Do I just continue going as I've been going... which seems to be wherever the Holy Spirit leads me? Thank you so much for listening to my story, and for any help you may give me.[/quote] Welcome. Here are some links: Cloister Outreach: [url="http://cloisters.tripod.com/"]http://cloisters.tripod.com/[/url] Delayed Vocations yahoo group: [url="http://groups.yahoo.com/group/delayed_vocations/"]http://groups.yahoo.com/group/delayed_vocations/[/url] Just concentrate on your relationship with Jesus and Mary, and they will do the guiding. I think too many discerners get wound around the axle with discernment, and they're too tense to hear the whisperings of the Holy Ghost deep inside their souls. Discernment retreats and novenas are tools, too. Blessings, Gemma Coordinator Cloister Outreach Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
alicemary Posted April 18, 2008 Share Posted April 18, 2008 No time spent in developing a relationship with Jesus is ever wasted time. The time you spent getting to know that community also taught you so much about you. As you know, at your age, some of the habited orders may not be knocking at your door. Hey, I am 54, so understand that struggle!!!!! But somewhere out there, is the right place for you. I would just go where the Spirit leads. Be open to looking at all charisms. Sometimes one will speak to your heart more. More often it is how that charism is reflected in the lives of the sisters and its impact on their prayer life. I have had alot of Dominican influence in my life, so feel comfortable with that. I never have even met any Benedictines, and only recently have begun to read more about them. I really like alot of what I read. AS to the spiritual director, it is always hard to break them in!! Just give it some time. I never feel comfortable at first either. Take your time, don't be in a rush to find where you should be, enjoy the journey. Keep your focus open, and don't say I will only look at nuns who wear a full habit or nuns who only work in education(for example). There are alot of different communities out there, so go visiting when you can and see what they have to offer you, and you have for them. My prayers alicemary Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sister Rose Therese Posted April 18, 2008 Share Posted April 18, 2008 To me it sounds like you have a pretty good idea about your spirituality. You may indeed be right that you are called to be a Benedictine. There is no recipe however to know this, as with most things in discernment. I guess my advice would be not to get anxious about it, pray about it maybe a novena to St. Therese, keep looking and listening. God will reveal it to you in His time. Visiting the community is usually to surest way to know whether you are called to a particular community. Make sure you spend a good amount of time in the visit, not just 2 days or something like that. And it isn't so much whether you like them or not. There are a lot of very good communities out there that you may like. It is more about whether you feel at home with them; whether they feel like family. And of course, the answers you get in prayer, because we cannot rely completely on our feelings. God bless! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
toservelove Posted April 18, 2008 Author Share Posted April 18, 2008 I want to thank everyone for their advice and encouragement. My first, emotional response, was actually one of relief. Some people couldn't believe how calm I was, but I told them, this is what I've been praying for. God [b]has[/b] answered my prayer, and [b]is[/b] answering my prayer. I did discover much about myself, that is true. I'm becoming better at listening to my heart and not just my head. I realize that, as someone else said, I may love the place, I may love the people, I may feel great peace there...but if I feel uneasy at the thought of joining, then I need to delve deeper. I've learned that even if I think I know the answer, I need to ask the question. Asking lets other people know what's going on in your head, and sometimes you may be wrong. But the most important lesson I've learned and am continuing to learn, is how much God loves me, and how much I love Him. I only want to grow more and more in love with Him and to show Him my love in whatever way most pleases Him. I know I'm on the right path, and I will look at some of the communities ya'll have mentioned. Thank you and God bless. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
irishdancer Posted April 18, 2008 Share Posted April 18, 2008 [quote name='Saint Therese' post='1502375' date='Apr 17 2008, 11:43 PM']A sister once told me that its like you have the charism inside of you and you'll know you've found the right community/order when their charism matches that charism inside of you.[/quote] YES Welcome friend. I wish you well. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MC IMaGiNaZUN Posted April 18, 2008 Share Posted April 18, 2008 There is one small convent of Augustinian contemplative sisters outside of Chicago, IL [url="http://www.lampsalight.org/"]http://www.lampsalight.org/[/url] Other than that they dont get much attention in this country because of the other popular mendicant orders. Despite St. Rita of Cascia being one. BTW, I am an Augustinian Brother, and it is awesome! SHALOM Bro Mark Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DameAgnes Posted April 18, 2008 Share Posted April 18, 2008 Missionary Sisters of St. Benedict [url="http://missionarysistersofstbenedict.org/Three%20new%20Sisters.htm"]http://missionarysistersofstbenedict.org/T...w%20Sisters.htm[/url] Fully habited, apostolic but community prayer and contemplation is a big part of their charism. [url="http://missionarysistersofstbenedict.org/sisters_bring_vocation_message_t.htm"]http://missionarysistersofstbenedict.org/s...n_message_t.htm[/url] [url="http://missionarysistersofstbenedict.org/"]http://missionarysistersofstbenedict.org/[/url] Benedictines. Missionary Sisters of St. Benedict, 350 Cuba Hill Road, Huntington, NY 11725. [W] [url="http://www.missionarysistersofstbenedict.org/"]http://www.missionarysistersofstbenedict.org/[/url] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
slisa Posted April 19, 2008 Share Posted April 19, 2008 [size="5"][/size] Check out the Olivetan Benedictines. They are a monastic community with an active apostolate and wear a modified habit. www.olivben.org Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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