Chastity W/ "the One"

[fides quarens intellectum]

i voted "yes" because of the whole operative grace thing. A priest once told me that, after his ordination, he did not look at a woman for close to three years with the wrong eyes. That story stuck with me because it was an example of the grace he received from his ordination, and an example of how priests struggle just like everyone else. But then, this poll is about meeting "the one," so...

i still think/hope that God gives us grace through the sacraments of service, though.

[scardella]

[quote name='fides quarens intellectum' post='1500038' date='Apr 15 2008, 01:37 PM']i voted "yes" because of the whole operative grace thing. A priest once told me that, after his ordination, he did not look at a woman for close to three years with the wrong eyes. That story stuck with me because it was an example of the grace he received from his ordination, and an example of how priests struggle just like everyone else. But then, this poll is about meeting "the one," so...

i still think/hope that God gives us grace through the sacraments of service, though.[/quote]

But that is post-sacrament. It seems the question implies pre-sacrament.

[Deb]

I guess I had never considered being chaste while married. Is that for productive reasons?

[XIX]

Chastity =/= abstinence

Short explanation:
chastity = following Catholic teaching on sexuality. Which means abstaining when you aren't married, and sticking with your wife/not using contraception/not using NFP with a contraceptive mentality/generally not "using" your partner when you are married.

abstinence = not being sexually active.

They are very similar and people think they are completely synonymous, but they are slightly different.

[KnightofChrist]

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Edited April 19, 2008 by KnightofChrist

[fides quarens intellectum]

[quote name='scardella' post='1500668' date='Apr 16 2008, 08:50 AM']But that is post-sacrament. It seems the question implies pre-sacrament.[/quote]

oops - i was taking it to mean post-sacrament - sorry to jump to after the wedding.


[quote name='Deb' post='1503406' date='Apr 19 2008, 01:42 PM']I guess I had never considered being chaste while married. Is that for productive reasons?[/quote]

What do you mean for productive reasons? i thought everyone was called to lead a chaste life.

[Deb]

[quote name='fides quarens intellectum' post='1503685' date='Apr 19 2008, 09:39 PM']oops - i was taking it to mean post-sacrament - sorry to jump to after the wedding.




What do you mean for productive reasons? i thought everyone was called to lead a chaste life.[/quote]


I guess I meant NFP. I guess I do not get the chaste life if married. Does that mean you only have sex on a set schedule? Is there like a rule book, only X number of times per day or week or month or year or something? Enlighten me, I am new to the faith.

[Archaeology cat]

[quote name='Deb' post='1504054' date='Apr 20 2008, 03:55 PM']I guess I meant NFP. I guess I do not get the chaste life if married. Does that mean you only have sex on a set schedule? Is there like a rule book, only X number of times per day or week or month or year or something? Enlighten me, I am new to the faith.[/quote]
It certainly isn't a rule book. One example would be during times of abstinence (with NFP or otherwise). If you know you can't have sex with your spouse that day (assuming you have grave reason to postpone pregnancy here), then you should make sure you aren't doing things solely to arouse. It isn't fair to each other otherwise. You can also have chaste sex within marriage, though, when it's open to life & love & self-giving, not objectifying the other or anything.

Not sure I'm the best at wording this, but I hope it helps.

[XIX]

You can have sex as many times as you want if you are married! (with your spouse of course )

Natural Family Planning is basically a method of avoiding pregnancy without using contraception. Woman's only fertile 5-7 days a month, don't have sex on those days and she won't get pregnancy, etc.

If you want to avoid a pregnancy for whatever reason, the Church teaches that NFP is acceptable. Contraception, on the other hand is not. There's a bunch of reasons why one is different from the other morally, but that's a whole separate discussion.

If you want to be pregnant, then you really have no reason to practice NFP. Some people will use it to figure out when the woman is fertile to make sure they have sex on her fertile days. Others are partial to the "stork method"--blissfully ignorant of her fertility until one day, lo and behold, she's pregnant. But whether or not you use NFP to help conceive a child is not really related to chastity.

The important thing to remember is that it is permissible to abstain on a woman's fertile days in an effort to prevent or postpone a pregnancy. It's not permissible to use artificial contraception. Also remember that you must have a very serious reason for choosing not to have a child. Avoiding a pregnancy because you don't want to have to sell your timeshare doesn't cut it. It has to be a "grave reason." We can have a lengthy discussion on what constitutes a "grave reason," but again, that could be a completely different discussion.

Of course, it is always completely permissible to use the "stork method" throughout your entire marriage.

[Norseman82]

I voted #4 because there is a false premise that everybody has a pre-picked spouse that they are destined to be with.

[Deb]

[quote name='XIX' post='1504111' date='Apr 20 2008, 11:52 AM']You can have sex as many times as you want if you are married! (with your spouse of course )

Natural Family Planning is basically a method of avoiding pregnancy without using contraception. Woman's only fertile 5-7 days a month, don't have sex on those days and she won't get pregnancy, etc.

If you want to avoid a pregnancy for whatever reason, the Church teaches that NFP is acceptable. Contraception, on the other hand is not. There's a bunch of reasons why one is different from the other morally, but that's a whole separate discussion.

If you want to be pregnant, then you really have no reason to practice NFP. Some people will use it to figure out when the woman is fertile to make sure they have sex on her fertile days. Others are partial to the "stork method"--blissfully ignorant of her fertility until one day, lo and behold, she's pregnant. But whether or not you use NFP to help conceive a child is not really related to chastity.

The important thing to remember is that it is permissible to abstain on a woman's fertile days in an effort to prevent or postpone a pregnancy. It's not permissible to use artificial contraception. Also remember that you must have a very serious reason for choosing not to have a child. Avoiding a pregnancy because you don't want to have to sell your timeshare doesn't cut it. It has to be a "grave reason." We can have a lengthy discussion on what constitutes a "grave reason," but again, that could be a completely different discussion.

Of course, it is always completely permissible to use the "stork method" throughout your entire marriage. [/quote]

Thanks, I get it now.