Norseman82 Posted April 21, 2008 Share Posted April 21, 2008 [quote name='rachael' post='1504222' date='Apr 20 2008, 02:18 PM']She [i]is[/i] 21...she does not has to be civil to you if she doesn't want to. She's grown up.[/quote] BULL! Since when does turning 18 or 21 mean you don't have to treat someone civilly? Is this a Catholic board or not? I don't see anything that apparent has done (like abuse, snooping, or some other quantifiable harm) that warrants being cut off like that. Refusing Christmas greetings? COME ON, PEOPLE! I'm with the other poster who suggested checking to see if there is some substance abuse or depression type of problem. Additionally, the same catechism paragraph that refers to the duties of parents to not exert pressure on their kids' choice of profession/state of life/spouse also says that this duty does not prevent them from giving their kids "judicious advice". (CCC 2230). At least there is one positive thing on this thread: a lot of you will save a lot on colonsocopies, because you've got your heads stuck so far up your rear ends that you can do your own visual inspections for polyps. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rachael Posted April 21, 2008 Share Posted April 21, 2008 (edited) [quote name='Norseman82' post='1505174' date='Apr 20 2008, 11:29 PM']BULL! Since when does turning 18 or 21 mean you don't have to treat someone civilly? Is this a Catholic board or not? I don't see anything that apparent has done (like abuse, snooping, or some other quantifiable harm) that warrants being cut off like that. Refusing Christmas greetings? COME ON, PEOPLE! I'm with the other poster who suggested checking to see if there is some substance abuse or depression type of problem. Additionally, the same catechism paragraph that refers to the duties of parents to not exert pressure on their kids' choice of profession/state of life/spouse also says that this duty does not prevent them from giving their kids "judicious advice". (CCC 2230). At least there is one positive thing on this thread: a lot of you will save a lot on colonsocopies, because you've got your heads stuck so far up your rear ends that you can do your own visual inspections for polyps.[/quote] Listen, I [i]never[/i] said what she was doing was right. But she's a big girl. She can make her own choices. So don't BULL me. Edited April 21, 2008 by rachael Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Norseman82 Posted April 21, 2008 Share Posted April 21, 2008 [quote name='rachael' post='1505177' date='Apr 20 2008, 11:31 PM']Listen, I never said what she was doing was right. But she's a big girl. She can make her own choices. So don't BULL me.[/quote] Excuse me, but when you are wrong I most certainly WILL. Now respect your elders. And considering that this is a Catholic board, what is right and wrong is an integral part of the debate. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rachael Posted April 21, 2008 Share Posted April 21, 2008 [quote name='Norseman82' post='1505190' date='Apr 20 2008, 11:36 PM']Excuse me, but when you are wrong I most certainly WILL. Now respect your elders.[/quote] Why are you telling me what to do? You are just being silly now. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jaime Posted April 21, 2008 Share Posted April 21, 2008 I'm with rachael Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Norseman82 Posted April 21, 2008 Share Posted April 21, 2008 (edited) apparent, I don't know everything going on behind this, but the only thing I would suggest is allow a cooling down period, but let it be known that you are hurt by this. I'm not saying this because your daughter is right, but because all efforts have failed so far and, barring substance abuse or mental health issues, we have arrived at a "putting more fuel on the fire" moment. But she does need to see the pain that she caused and you do have a moral right to be treated civilly, and you do have a right to insist on it from her when she does communicsate with you. How has she treated your other adult chidren? Are any of them in good standing with her? Perhaps one or more of them can serve as a go-between and give you a "heads up" if something is wrong, or somehow express to her that what she is doing is hurtful. And I want to apologize for some of the responses on the board here. Respect for one's elders is a virtue often lacking on this site. Edited April 21, 2008 by Norseman82 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Norseman82 Posted April 21, 2008 Share Posted April 21, 2008 [quote name='rachael' post='1505199' date='Apr 20 2008, 11:43 PM'] Why are you telling me what to do? You are just being silly now.[/quote] Did you read what you wrote? People don't have to treat each other civilly? I ask again: Is this a Catholic board or not? As Catholics, barring some injury or "occasion of sin" type of issue where prudence dictates limiting or cutting off contact with a person doing harm, should we not treat each other civilly? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rachael Posted April 21, 2008 Share Posted April 21, 2008 [quote name='Norseman82' post='1505207' date='Apr 20 2008, 11:49 PM']And I want to apologize for some of the responses on the board here. Respect for one's elders is a virtue often lacking on this forum.[/quote] Actually, there seems to be a lack of respect for people if they are younger than you. Norseman, while I do respect my elders, the respect should also be a two-way street. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rachael Posted April 21, 2008 Share Posted April 21, 2008 [quote name='Norseman82' post='1505211' date='Apr 20 2008, 11:52 PM']Did you read what you wrote? People don't have to treat each other civilly? I ask again: Is this a Catholic board or not? As Catholics, barring some injury or "occasion of sin" type of issue where prudence dictates limiting or cutting off contact with a person doing harm, should we not treat each other civilly?[/quote] I agree with treating each other civilly. I never said that I didn't agree with this. BUT, as a legal adult, she can make her own choices, whether her me, you, her parents, or Phatmass likes it or not. That is what why I suggested giving her time and breathing space earlier on in the thread. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Norseman82 Posted April 21, 2008 Share Posted April 21, 2008 [quote name='rachael' post='1505212' date='Apr 20 2008, 11:52 PM']Actually, there seems to be a lack of respect for people if they are younger than you. Norseman, while I do respect my elders, the respect should also be a two-way street.[/quote] I don't know how you were raised, but the way I was raised (pre-psychobabble nonsense), one of the perks of being one's elder is to correct the younger generation when they are wrong. That's all I did with you. I know I came on strong, but do you know how offensive you sounded when you made that statement about not having to treat one civilly - especially considering that this is a Catholic board? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rachael Posted April 21, 2008 Share Posted April 21, 2008 (edited) [quote name='Norseman82' post='1505229' date='Apr 21 2008, 12:02 AM']I don't know how you were raised, but the way I was raised (pre-psychobabble nonsense), one of the perks of being one's elder is to correct the younger generation when they are wrong. That's all I did with you. I know I came on strong, but do you know how offensive you sounded when you made that statement about not having to treat one civilly - especially considering that this is a Catholic board?[/quote] ....and you are still taking my statement wrong. Edited April 21, 2008 by rachael Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rachael Posted April 21, 2008 Share Posted April 21, 2008 (edited) nvm Edited April 21, 2008 by rachael Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Norseman82 Posted April 21, 2008 Share Posted April 21, 2008 (edited) [quote name='rachael' post='1505216' date='Apr 20 2008, 11:56 PM']I agree with treating each other civilly. I never said that I didn't agree with this. BUT, as a legal adult, she can make her own choices, whether her me, you, her parents, or Phatmass likes it or not. That is what why I suggested giving her time and breathing space earlier on in the thread.[/quote] My apologies, I must be getting cataracts (that's a joke, BTW), I did not see that sentiment communicated originally. [quote name='rachael' post='1505231' date='Apr 21 2008, 12:04 AM']You must be easily offended....and you are still taking my statement wrong.[/quote] You need to be more clear in what you are trying to communicate, because you did not specify that you were talking from a legal standpoint, nor that you were agreeing with her. Edited April 21, 2008 by Norseman82 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rachael Posted April 21, 2008 Share Posted April 21, 2008 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Norseman82 Posted April 21, 2008 Share Posted April 21, 2008 apparent, A thought just occurred to me and I felt it necessary to come back. I was thinking about when I was your daughter's age, and the one thing that might have caused me to avoid contact with my relatives would be some failure that I would be too embarassed to admit. Is it possible that your daughter is going through some trouble or embarassment or feels she is not as successful as she wants to be and feels that she cannot face you? It may not be big to the rest of the world, but to her it could be one of those existence-deining things. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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