Cutting

[prose]

prayers

[alicemary]

What she may be telling you and what she may be doing could be two different things. You have no objectivity, you are a friend, and right now you are an enabler. Sometimes you must admit there are things that you alone cannot handle. This girl needs help now and you have an obligation to get help for her, or at least. If she will not, then you will have to deal with that when it comes up. And trust me, people generally do not tell even real close friends the 'real' reason. We all carry heartaches that we rarely share. It is not you job to analyze her, leave that for the professionals. One does not do this kind of thing on a whim, it is well planned out or at least thought out for awhile. Sometimes being a friend means doing hard things for your friend, you need to open your mouth.

[Deb]

You have to tell, even if it means a loss of friendship or closeness at this time. You say there is no underlying reason but of course there is. You just don't know what it is. It may be something she has never even been able to voice or acknowledge even to herself. Please get her some help.
I shall pray for you both.

[cathoholic_anonymous]

I second what Alicemary has said.

[quote name='vbbabespx' post='1494697' date='Apr 8 2008, 05:47 AM']She feels more guilty because she doesn't have an explanation as to why she is doing it.

I know that things will get better if I tell someone and that the underlying problem would get resolved, but there really is no underlying problem other than stress due to homework.[/quote]

You are probably too worried and upset for your friend to see the inconsistency here. Either she has no explanation for what she's doing (or, as is more likely, she just can't articulate the explanation) or she is cutting because of homework stress. Most people who self-harm have a mess of frightening thoughts and emotions that they don't feel able to express in any other way than through hurting themselves. The physical pain gives them some temporary relief, a focal point. While it is possible for something relatively simple like homework stress to trigger self-harm, more serious reasons will have been building up for quite some time - usually unseen by everyone.

Therapy will give your friend a chance to explore what led her to begin cutting. She may not even know the answer herself just yet, so don't ask her if she's keeping anything back from you and expect her to have a sensible reply. People who self-injure know that something hurts, but without appropriate help they will rarely be able to tell you what it is - any more than somebody suffering from an undiagnosed tumour would be able to tell you what is the matter with them beyond, "I'm in a lot of pain."

Also, be wary of ascribing your friend's problems to Satan. Would you do the same thing if she had started showing symptoms of a physical illness during Holy Week? There is still an unfortunate tendency to assume that mental health problems are some murky diabolical preserve. They're not. They are medical conditions like any other, and they need medical treatment.

[quote]ahhhhhhh!
I need to tell someone....
please pray for me so that i get the strength to tell someone and pray for her that she can come to the realization that what she is doing is harming herself, a daughter of God created in the image of Him.
THank you and God Bless[/quote]

She already knows that she is harming herself. She may already know that she is a daughter of God. And that knowledge probably just makes her feel ten times worse. Farglefeezlebut, the girl who posted above, is a very great friend of mine who is currently struggling with self-injury and related difficulties. FFB knows that God loves her and this knowledge is frightening. It's frightening because she feels wretched and ill and sometimes she just wishes that she could go to sleep and never wake up. For the sake of her earthly parents, who love her, she'd like to be better. For the sake of her heavenly Father, who loves her more, she'd like to be better. The fact that this can't happen makes her feel guilty and ungrateful. That is not what you want your friend to feel right now.

I will pray that you find the courage to talk to someone about your friend. God bless.