The Question Of Age

[Laudem Gloriae]

When I wrote to the Snellville Visitation Monastery, they sent me back some literature and in it was a pamphlet with this regarding St. Francis de Sales' request, ideas regarding age, what he required, etc. (bold words are in caps by my hand):

"Strength of mind and generosity of heart are the prerequisites, and then health sufficiently good to observe the Rule. St. Francis de Sales believed that THOSE COMMUNITIES WHO SHOWED CHARITY IN ADMITTING A CERTAIN NUMBER OF OLDER WOMEN, WOULD BE BLESSED BY GOD WITH YOUNG SUBJECTS WHOM HE WOULD ATTRACT ALSO."

Maybe this is the problem with orders not getting vocations? They turn away the women God calls who may be older and He doesn't bless them with younger? Maybe? Who knows!

Like AliceMary, I was not ready mentally, spiritually, emotionally when I was in my 20's to enter. I know I was called then but let the world and other things interfere. But God has prepared me so well and in so many ways during my 14 yr wait before I could follow my call. At least there are some orders in that have this thought and realize that God calls at all ages and situations and see the many benefits of an older woman - mostly these are overseas but there are a few good ones in the US - besides the wonderful Visitation order.

[jkaands]

I think that PerpLove might have an easier time if the habit issue could be laid aside for the time being. There are a lot of great communities out there who don't wear one or who wear a modified one, witness Praying4Carmel's recent discovery of the Bennies in Illinois (and she a "Carmelite"! )

I also agree with the others that using this particular vocation match may not work for you. I think that some hard digging might be more productive. There's the web and the Guide to Religious Ministries ($5.00 thru Catholic News) which would probably include just about everybody.

[Guest Perpetualove]

I have an update.

First - thank you to all of you who have participated in this discussion so nicely. It has really been an awesome experience on Phatmass to be able to listen to other opinions, suggestions, experiences without it turning into a heated thing. So, I have really enjoyed this, and thank you.

I wanted to tell you that I went back and took the same test over, this time lowering my age considerably (I used a different email). I got the same results! So...whoever it was that mentioned (and I am sorry I don't know how who...I'm scared to go back and lose what I've written, but I think it was in the first one or two responses to my original LONG-winded post!) the more traditional full-habited cloistered nuns would not be on those kinds of websites is right! So...now we know!

The habit is not really a deal-breaker for me. I was writing more out of seeing some of my friends go through this. I have two friends who are in discernment, and for them, the habit is a major deal breaker. The full habit. It has been out of seeing them face all kind of immediate rejection (based only on their age!) that this even came up for me. I have learned SO MUCH on Phatmass...especially the US vs. Europe thing. I had no idea this was the state of affairs, and I wouldn't know had it not been for people willing to share their stories.

I am really on the border of the cut off age, and I feel that many communities with strict age rules would be bend it for me, but that's not the point. I guess I'm a little like Tradmom's daughter who would not enter a community that rejects women based only on age.

I've mentioned before I am a teacher, and I love the ministry I am involved with. I also feel called to religious life...somedays cloistered and somedays active. I have driven myself crazy! If God leads me to a community that wears a habit, I would prefer the whole thing. I personally - just an opininon!!!! and personal only !!!! - find great beauty and grace in the habit. If I end up in a community with a habit, I want the WHOLE thing and not a modifed one! I love the guimpe/the wimple/the long veil/the long to the floor habit...to wear a habit seems so radical already, I would want the whole thing. I have a hard time with the habits that are modified, to me (only me) they are not as beautiful.

Since I work at a parish, I interact with many active religious who are not in habits. They are fantastic, holy prayerful women. One of the best retreats I ever had was at the Eldridge Carmel, and they don't wear habits, though I think a couple of years ago they received a transfer sister who wore the whole habit and kept it on (she was from another country). Anyway, that's my personal story, and I think I will - at least my prayer is - that wherever God truly calls me - to whatever He calls me to - I will be strong and able enough to answer and be free (and of course, if He calls, I pray that I will be accepted and there will be room for me)!

So! The very important update is that yes, the more formal, traditional cloistered/monastic communities do not participate in internet stuff. Jkaands...you recommended the Guide to Religious Ministries...(also known as the Blue Book!) I don't think I could live without it.

I'll update more later. Thanks again for this great thread!

[Guest Perpetualove]

I have an update.

First - thank you to all of you who have participated in this discussion so nicely. It has really been an awesome experience on Phatmass to be able to listen to other opinions, suggestions, experiences without it turning into a heated thing. So, I have really enjoyed this, and thank you.

I wanted to tell you that I went back and took the same test over, this time lowering my age considerably (I used a different email). I got the same results! So...whoever it was that mentioned (and I am sorry I don't know how who...I'm scared to go back and lose what I've written, but I think it was in the first one or two responses to my original LONG-winded post!) the more traditional full-habited cloistered nuns would not be on those kinds of websites is right! So...now we know!

The habit is not really a deal-breaker for me. I was writing more out of seeing some of my friends go through this. I have two friends who are in discernment, and for them, the habit is a major deal breaker. The full habit. It has been out of seeing them face all kind of immediate rejection (based only on their age!) that this even came up for me. I have learned SO MUCH on Phatmass...especially the US vs. Europe thing. I had no idea this was the state of affairs, and I wouldn't know had it not been for people willing to share their stories.

I am really on the border of the cut off age, and I feel that many communities with strict age rules would be bend it for me, but that's not the point. I guess I'm a little like Tradmom's daughter who would not enter a community that rejects women based only on age.

I've mentioned before I am a teacher, and I love the ministry I am involved with. I also feel called to religious life...somedays cloistered and somedays active. I have driven myself crazy! If God leads me to a community that wears a habit, I would prefer the whole thing. I personally - just an opininon!!!! and personal only !!!! - find great beauty and grace in the habit. If I end up in a community with a habit, I want the WHOLE thing and not a modifed one! I love the guimpe/the wimple/the long veil/the long to the floor habit...to wear a habit seems so radical already, I would want the whole thing. I have a hard time with the habits that are modified, to me (only me) they are not as beautiful.

Since I work at a parish, I interact with many active religious who are not in habits. They are fantastic, holy prayerful women. One of the best retreats I ever had was at the Eldridge Carmel, and they don't wear habits, though I think a couple of years ago they received a transfer sister who wore the whole habit and kept it on (she was from another country). Anyway, that's my personal story, and I think I will - at least my prayer is - that wherever God truly calls me - to whatever He calls me to - I will be strong and able enough to answer and be free (and of course, if He calls, I pray that I will be accepted and there will be room for me)!

So! The very important update is that yes, the more formal, traditional cloistered/monastic communities do not participate in internet stuff. Jkaands...you recommended the Guide to Religious Ministries...(also known as the Blue Book!) I don't think I could live without it.

I'll update more later. Thanks again for this great thread!

[littlesister]

Thinking about age limits? I just came across the very neat and clear website of the Community of the Epiphany in Florida. They make no mention of age requirements but, if a picture is indeed worth a thousand words...go look!

[cathoholic_anonymous]

[quote name='alicemary' post='1497703' date='Apr 12 2008, 06:30 AM']I just find it so sad that there is this wonderful group of woman, committed to thier faith, looking for a faith filled community to live out the next 20-30 good years of their lives and all they get is slammed doors and remarks that are so uncalled for. So what if statistics are against us.....I have to feel that our thoughts have been placed there by Jesus Himself. Why would we desire this, to give up all our possessions, our successful careers to vow poverty, chastity and obedience?
Sure, I wish I were a blushing 20 year old, but that ain't going to happen. Heck, at 20 I was not ready to embrace a life of service to the Church. And to see all these orders seek out very young girls to me is alarming and not a good precedent.
But I hope, that soon we will all find the path we are meant to trod.[/quote]

For some reason I'm reminded of St Paul's passage on the different gifts that each person brings to the church. Young postulants and older postulants bring different gifts to a community, and all are needed. I have actually prayed that when I enter the convent there will be a mixture of ages in the novitiate. While I don't want to be forty years younger than everybody else, I wouldn't want to feel as though I am in some kind of habited college dormitory either.