Guest ambrose Posted March 29, 2008 Share Posted March 29, 2008 Who wants to talk Lay orders with me? I'm specifically interested in "oblates", as in being attached to a particular monastery as a lay associate. As a married person, I've come to terms with the fact I'll never be a vowed religious. And yet, my heart and mind feel very much at home with Benedictine spirituality. I love the Rule, love reading about the Rule, and love it when occasionally I feel my own [i]conversio[/i] of life because of the Rule. The Benedictine charism* [i]Ora et Labora[/i] also attracts me - practical, realistic and thoroughly Christian. So I'm discerning whether this is the life God may have called me: as a lay Benedictine (or Cistercian following Benedictine Rule). Right now, I have little discipline and need to build a spiritual practice so I can [i]truly, truly[/i] listen to God and not my ego. There's a Secular Franciscan group near me, and I love Francis, but Benedictine life just seems to fit. I found one monastery that is not at all close to where I live with an active lay group. They require recommendations from a priest and spiritual director before applying for formation (there's a very thorough formation process, and i appreciate that kind of rigor). I don't have a spiritual director, and am praying I might find one. Who else has been on a similar journey? Do you know or have experience with lay groups? Discerning? Let's talk!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lil Red Posted March 29, 2008 Share Posted March 29, 2008 +J.M.J.+ you know, i am married as well, and i have a love of all things Dominican. so i'm in the same boat as you, but not Benedictine! there's nothing nearby, and being a wife and mother, with a full-time job, i have zero time to try to start something up (which was suggested by the people in CA). i'd love to find something that's already available. but until then, i've settled for reading a lot of Dominican books! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Veritas Posted March 29, 2008 Share Posted March 29, 2008 + That's a great question, Ambrose. I don't know of any solid Benedictine oblates, but I lean Dominican -I'm sure they are out there! I'll start asking some Benedictine friendss... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shortnun Posted March 29, 2008 Share Posted March 29, 2008 [quote name='Veritas' post='1487501' date='Mar 29 2008, 12:40 AM']+ That's a great question, Ambrose. I don't know of any solid Benedictine oblates, but I lean Dominican -I'm sure they are out there! I'll start asking some Benedictine friendss...[/quote] I do believe that STLmom is quite fond of all things Benedictine. Hopefully she'll add a word or two here that would be helpful to the conversation. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Saint Therese Posted March 29, 2008 Share Posted March 29, 2008 There's the Third Order Dominicans, which are great (many many holy Saints).THere's also the lay Carmelites. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gemma Posted March 29, 2008 Share Posted March 29, 2008 I'm a Lay Passionist "isolate." The closest priests to me are three to four hours from here. But with the cost of gas, and our schedule, it's an act of congress that's required before I'd ever be able to go over there. I know the OCDS (lay Discalced Carmelites) have "isolates," and have a formation director exclusively for them. I also know that OSB monasteries have isolate oblates. I used to transport one to Holy Hour before I married. Dominicans are ones who don't like dealing with isolates. Their spirituality is more fraternal. Not sure about the Franciscans. When I was still a Lay Dominican, a secular Franciscan, and Lay Discalced Carmelite and I kept each other company for the sake of support. (And the Ben Oblate, too). It was a great blessing, to say the least, to learn from and support each other. If there are other laity of other spiritualities, don't be afraid to meet with them. HTH. Blessings, Gemma Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest ambrose Posted March 29, 2008 Share Posted March 29, 2008 Thanks for responses so far. Gemma - what is an isolate? Never heard that term before, is it a bit like a consecrated hermit? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gloriagurl Posted March 29, 2008 Share Posted March 29, 2008 [quote name='ambrose' post='1487298' date='Mar 28 2008, 11:57 PM']Who wants to talk Lay orders with me? I'm specifically interested in "oblates", as in being attached to a particular monastery as a lay associate. As a married person, I've come to terms with the fact I'll never be a vowed religious. And yet, my heart and mind feel very much at home with Benedictine spirituality. I love the Rule, love reading about the Rule, and love it when occasionally I feel my own [i]conversio[/i] of life because of the Rule. The Benedictine charism* [i]Ora et Labora[/i] also attracts me - practical, realistic and thoroughly Christian. So I'm discerning whether this is the life God may have called me: as a lay Benedictine (or Cistercian following Benedictine Rule). Right now, I have little discipline and need to build a spiritual practice so I can [i]truly, truly[/i] listen to God and not my ego. There's a Secular Franciscan group near me, and I love Francis, but Benedictine life just seems to fit. I found one monastery that is not at all close to where I live with an active lay group. They require recommendations from a priest and spiritual director before applying for formation (there's a very thorough formation process, and i appreciate that kind of rigor). I don't have a spiritual director, and am praying I might find one. Who else has been on a similar journey? Do you know or have experience with lay groups? Discerning? Let's talk!![/quote] One really good source for getting your feet wet is a yahoo group called THE HOLY RULE LIST. It is comprised mostly of Oblates and it is owned by a monk of St. Mary's Monastery, Petersham, Massachusetts. The monks at St. Mary's are a daughter house of Pluscarden Abbey in Scotland...near (or in?) Inverness, I believe. It is not a discussion group, it is a prayer list and a daily reading of the Holy Rule with commentary by Bro Jerome. The readings are the same ones read in Benedictine Monasteries and follow the same "round"...in other words, they are set up so that you will have heard the entire Holy Rule read to you three times in one year. There is also a yahoo group called Monastic Life - it used to be owned by the same brother, I believe it may still be....I am a member but I'm not active. I can ask Brother about it if you'd like. Also, there is a web site for St. Mary's Monastery that I believe will allow you to join The Holy Rule List right from the monastery's web site. If you'd like the link, please let me know. One of the best things about this list is that it comes with it's own set of prayer requests, you'll never be without someone/something to pray for in relation to your brothers/sisters on the list. I don't know where you are located, but every OSB House I know of has Oblates. They all differ as to how the Oblates support/interact with the community but for many there is a fairly high degree of interaction. Oblates are a wonderful source of "hands on" support for a lot of aging communities....lots of LABORA out there to do. There are many books written these days about the "lay Benedcitine" vocation and about how to appy the Holy Rule to our Modern Society - some of them are absolutely wonderful. There are several that actually make a very good case for using the rule as a model for corporate management...very, very intersting. If you'd like a book list, please let me know...I'll get some titles for you. THANK GOD FOR OBLATES!!! Amen. Pax Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rosamundi Posted March 29, 2008 Share Posted March 29, 2008 [quote name='ambrose' post='1487867' date='Mar 29 2008, 07:59 PM']what is an isolate? Never heard that term before, is it a bit like a consecrated hermit?[/quote] An "isolate" is a member of a Third Order who for whatever reason cannot meet with other members of a local fraternity for their Order - perhaps it's too far to travel, or they are unwell and unable to attend meetings. There are lone Lay Dominicans, but it's rare, I think it may even be a specifically English thing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
A Yearning Heart Posted March 30, 2008 Share Posted March 30, 2008 Forgive me-as I'm not sure how to ask this- can you be a lay member of more than one of these groups? Pax [quote name='Gemma' post='1487835' date='Mar 30 2008, 05:54 AM']I'm a Lay Passionist "isolate." .... When I was still a Lay Dominican, a secular Franciscan, and Lay Discalced Carmelite and I kept each other company for the sake of support. (And the Ben Oblate, too). It was a great blessing, to say the least, to learn from and support each other. If there are other laity of other spiritualities, don't be afraid to meet with them. HTH. Blessings, Gemma[/quote] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gemma Posted March 30, 2008 Share Posted March 30, 2008 [quote name='A Yearning Heart' post='1488431' date='Mar 29 2008, 11:01 PM']Forgive me-as I'm not sure how to ask this- can you be a lay member of more than one of these groups? Pax[/quote] I was a Lay Dominican for a few years, then, when I encountered the Passionists, made the change. I've been a Lay Passionist now for about 14 years. HTH. Blessings, Gemma Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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