Ankle-deep

[Legend Chaser]

All my life I've been infernally convinced that I was meant for marriage. There's never been a doubt in my mind and I have the sneaking feeling a whole crudload of people felt the same way.

I have wondered often in the past year if I am called to religious life and sisterhood. Honestly I'm not sure. There's times when I can't imagine God wanting anything else with me, and there's times when I'm certain I'm just raving. The thing is, I think I'm subconsciously desiring to give up absolutely everything, because I often find myself frustrated with day to day excesses, general lack of God in life in general. I run back to Him more and more, even if I'm not seriously praying for anything in particular, even if I'm not feeling particularly penitent and loving. It is frustrating.

Today I rather casually turned to my friend during a music rehearsal and said, out of the blue, "What if I was a nun?" She laughed really hard and told me I was very random. I wonder what that was supposed to mean.

I'm still not sure. I think they call this "discernment." I read the topic above about what I can do besides "Pray about it" but I'm not good at setting serious goals and remembering them, much less keeping them, unless they're written into my heart already.

Is there any way you guys could pray with me? Share advice, stories similar to mine thus far...something? It is very confusing. Though frankly I am glad that God is not easily grasped, or I might get frustrated with Him too.

Edited March 27, 2008 by Legend Chaser

[VeniteAdoremus]

I totally know where you come from. This is called the "gentle tug" It doesn't mean you have to be a nun, it means you have to seriously consider it! Unfortunately, I have to run to my job right now, but my prayers will be with you as I try to keep 55 highschoolers quiet...

Edited March 27, 2008 by VeniteAdoremus

[shortnun]

Absolutely---so many prayers for/with you. Do read around the threads here. I know that reading other people's stories has reassured me that I'm not loopy for thinking about this vocation.

Also, just one firm suggestion--and I *know* there are threads about this.... if you don't have one already, [i]get a spiritual director.[/i] Clearly God is trying to speak to you--possibly to invite you to religious life, perhaps to affirm you in your call to marriage--allow the Spirit to speak through a spiritual director.

He is Risen! Amen! Alleluia!

[VeniteAdoremus]

What Shortnun said - a spiritual director, that is, (probably) a priest or religious (or in some cases a lay person with experience on this point) is very important. It should be someone you can really talk with, so look around a bit.

Something that helped me a lot is visiting vocation retreats near my home. Even if the hosting community doesn't attract you (or you're not thinking about that yet) you will probably meet local people of your own age there, who can share their experiences with you, and who can pray with you. This is a time to learn about yourself and to learn about God. Enjoy it!

[Legend Chaser]

I googled my town about that awhile ago and had serious trouble finding one! I really want to find one...we don't have a whole gob of retreats around either. Our Catholic high school hosts one for each class of each gender every year and the junior girls one is in a week, but our retreat last year was just watching A Walk to Remember, discussing, and Mass. It was really lame. Basically all about chastity and nothing else, at all. Don't get me wrong, chastity is great...but there's other things I want to know about, right?

It is all very confusing! Thank you all so much for the prayers.

[the lords sheep]

I can completely understand how confused and overwhelmed you are! There's sooooo much information out there!

As far as helping you: If you let us know where you are, maybe we can direct you to some sisters/retreat centers/ other resources???
Also, see if your diocese has a vocations director. Most do... they may be able to connect you with some resources (like help you find a spiritual director). You can also try your pastor.
Let us know how else we can help you!
In Jesus and Mary,
Lauren

[Lil Red]

+J.M.J.+
please also remember that now you are taking God much more seriously in your discernment (where ever it may take you), the devil is like to start tempting you more. and if that doesn't work, attacking you. make sure you have holy water around your house/car, pray often, and go to confession often. and if you can, get a spiritual director!

God bless,

[shortnun]

[quote name='Legend Chaser' post='1486079' date='Mar 27 2008, 06:28 PM']I googled my town about that awhile ago and had serious trouble finding one! I really want to find one...we don't have a whole gob of retreats around either. Our Catholic high school hosts one for each class of each gender every year and the junior girls one is in a week, but our retreat last year was just watching A Walk to Remember, discussing, and Mass. It was really lame. Basically all about chastity and nothing else, at all. Don't get me wrong, chastity is great...but there's other things I want to know about, right?

It is all very confusing! Thank you all so much for the prayers.[/quote]
I understand the difficulty. The Lord's Sheep gives some great suggestions:
- look for retreat centers
- as your diocesan vocation director for a contact for spiritual direction
- your pastor is also a good resource
- if you have a local seminary or school of theology, they will have information on spiritual directors, too

Lastly, try this website: [b][url="http://www.sdiworld.org/seek-and-find-guide2.html"]Spiritual Directors International[/url][/b] I've recommended it before here on the boards. It's an ecumenical site, so be attuned to Catholic directors (if that is in fact what you desire). [b][url="http://sdiworld.org/seekfindlistings.html"]Here [/url][/b]is a helpful list of questions to consider.

[TradMom]

Sweetheart,
Just go to your parish priest and ask him for advice/recommendation. He'll help you!
Tradmom

[HannahM]

I have no advice to offer you but I wanted to let you know that I'm praying for you, and I understand (which is perhaps why I have nothing useful to say!) But what everyone else has said is good advice.

[AccountDeleted]

[quote name='Legend Chaser' post='1485467' date='Mar 26 2008, 09:09 PM']All my life I've been infernally convinced that I was meant for marriage. There's never been a doubt in my mind and I have the sneaking feeling a whole crudload of people felt the same way.

I have wondered often in the past year if I am called to religious life and sisterhood. Honestly I'm not sure. There's times when I can't imagine God wanting anything else with me, and there's times when I'm certain I'm just raving. The thing is, I think I'm subconsciously desiring to give up absolutely everything, because I often find myself frustrated with day to day excesses, general lack of God in life in general. I run back to Him more and more, even if I'm not seriously praying for anything in particular, even if I'm not feeling particularly penitent and loving. It is frustrating.

Today I rather casually turned to my friend during a music rehearsal and said, out of the blue, "What if I was a nun?" She laughed really hard and told me I was very random. I wonder what that was supposed to mean.

I'm still not sure. I think they call this "discernment." I read the topic above about what I can do besides "Pray about it" but I'm not good at setting serious goals and remembering them, much less keeping them, unless they're written into my heart already.

Is there any way you guys could pray with me? Share advice, stories similar to mine thus far...something? It is very confusing. Though frankly I am glad that God is not easily grasped, or I might get frustrated with Him too.[/quote]


Earlier I posted a link to an audio file about the Myths of the Priesthood and Religious Life by Father Nelson (National Director of the IRL). In that talk, he said that it used to be considered the norm that at least one child from every family would be consecrated to the Lord, and this was encouraged; but now, very few families are looking at things this way. I can't remember his exact figures, but he did estimate the number of people who are called by God, compared with the number who actually respond with a yes. He pointed out that although vocations may have dropped, it is not God who is lacking in the generosity of His call - but we who are lacking in generosity by ignoring or rejecting His invitation.

If you believe that God might possibly be calling you to religious life, you owe it yourself and to Him to seriously discern this for yourself. That doesn't mean that you must make any commitment at this point, but to investigate all the possibilities that are open to you would be the height of generosity on your part in answer to His invitation of love.

I will pray you on, and I encourage you to sit down with Our Lord Jesus in a very quiet place and have a "heart to heart" talk with Him about this matter. Ask Him to send you a spiritual director who is wise and holy, and then open yourself up to what He is trying to say to your heart right now. Whatever decision you ultimately make, you will never regret the opportunity to come closer to the Beloved.

Jesus IS love, but all too often (as St Mary Magdalene de Pazzi used to say....) "Love is unloved" !




God bless you and keep you as we all pray you on.

[Saint Therese]

Edited March 29, 2008 by Saint Therese

[AccountDeleted]

[quote name='Saint Therese' post='1487250' date='Mar 28 2008, 07:39 PM']Marriage is a religious vocation [i][/i]too.[i][/i] [/quote]


Marriage is definitely a vocation but whether it is a religious vocation or not would depend on one's definition of religious I suppose. I was thinking more in terms of being consecrated to God alone, rather than loving God within the sacrament of marriage. The fact that marriage is a sacrament certainly demonstrates that it is a very holy and important vocation and that the Church considers it imperative for its survival.

I think if you listen to the audio file from Father Nelson, you will be interested to hear his perspective on religious vocation / married vocation however, as he does see a difference between the two. I certainly don't want to start any kind of heated exchange about the worth/value of one vs another though!

I was simply responding to the original post that questioned whether she has a vocation to the religious life or not.

[Deus te Amat]

[quote name='nunsense' post='1487243' date='Mar 28 2008, 09:29 PM']Earlier I posted a link to an audio file about the Myths of the Priesthood and Religious Life by Father Nelson (National Director of the IRL). In that talk, he said that it used to be considered the norm that at least [b]one child from every family would be consecrated to the Lord, and this was encouraged; but now, very few families are looking at things this way[/b]. I can't remember his exact figures, but he did estimate the number of people who are called by God, compared with the number who actually respond with a yes. He pointed out that although vocations may have dropped, it is not God who is lacking in the generosity of His call - but we who are lacking in generosity by ignoring or rejecting His invitation.[/quote]

I apologise for hijacking this thread, but I wanted to comment on something.

My mom comes from a large Irish/Italian Catholic family. I mean,... my family tree is HUGE. However, I cannot think of a single priest or religious in the family. I had two great-aunts that were religious sisters, but they both left the religious life after Vatican II. Beyond that, there are no other religious, to my knowledge.

I have had little to no support for my discernment from my family, in fact, I've always been considered slightly "odd". It is for this reason that I am certain that my desire for the religious life comes from somewhere outside of myself. I didnt even meet my first religious sister until I was 15, but I have always longed to be more like Mary, God's Handmaid.

God calls for a reason... Without Him, I would never had considered this calling. I have so many opportunities available to me. But He is calling, and I am longing to answer with everything that I am, body, mind, and soul. If you really think about it, what is more beautiful than devoting your entire life to loving God? He gave His life for our Sins. He loves us beyond compare, and serving Him brings joy and unimaginable rewards. I am astonished that people aren't flooding religious houses.

You say that you are feeling drawn to the religious life when you had always known you were supposed to be a mother. I have two things to say to this. 1) The desire for the religious life would not be present unless from an outside source. Why else would it come when you are wanting to be a mother? It is contradictory. 2) Religious sisters are mothers too. Mothers of Souls. As a religious, you'd have hundreds of Souls in your care, to do with as every mother is meant to do... to bring them to God.

Having a curiousity to the religious life does not mean that you are 100 percent called. It means you are called to discern. We all are. You just might have qualities that are well suited to the religious life, or perhaps discerning is part of God's plan for you.

Please, do what I did. Approach your priest and tell him what you are feeling. He will help and guide you to better understand what is going on in your heart. You will be in my prayers. Please keep me in prayer as well.

God bless and Mary protect you!
DtA

[Legend Chaser]

Thank you so much for all your love, advice, and prayers! God bless you all! I am definitely going to be talking to some people here in the next few days. I'll let you all know how it goes!