the lords sheep Posted March 27, 2008 Share Posted March 27, 2008 I have been on the boards for a few years now, and I lurked for a few years before that. I have never in my time witnessed such behavior, and I am frankly appalled. I really am at a loss for all that has gone on in the phorum in the past few weeks. I am astounded that so many people, in "expressing their opinions", have managed to be judgmental, accusatory, alientating, backhanded and even cruel. To date, we have now had 3 active members leave because they felt unwelcome (or according to some [i]were[/i] unwelcome), and possibly even more posters that we do not know of. We have had at least 2 threads (that I can think of) closed because of our inability to be civil in voicing our opinions. I do hope that in the future, posters will keep in mind that their emotions (and likewise, the emotions of the posts that they are reading) and not conveyed well over the computer. Things are often read too quickly and words that are meant to be kind or given in advice are spit back in the original poster's face. There are name-calling and passive aggressive remarks made. People and communities are written off because they have a different opinion or a different way of doing something: they are not traditional enough, Catholic enough, cloistered enough, old enough, their skirts aren't long enough, their collars aren't big enough, whatever. We forget, maybe because in the "real world" we know so few discerners (or vocation supporters) like us (I know this is true in my case), that each persons vocation journey is different, yet it is guided by the Holy Spirit, and if it is not, it's honestly not for us to decide). We each come from different backgrounds, some of us from different countries, are different ages, etc, and I think we need to remind ourselves of that from time to time out of charity (I know I do). I hope that soon this will become what it was meant to be: a phorum for those interested in vocations, either discerning or supporting those who discern, where we can share information, our stories, our joys, our sorrows, and our prayers. My prayers are with all of you. In Jesus and Mary, Lauren [quote]BY MOTHER TERESA, M.C. People are often unreasonable, illogical and self-centered. Forgive them anyway. If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish ulterior motives. Be kind anyway. If you are successful you will win some false friends and true enemies. Succeed anyway. If you are honest and frank, people may cheat you. Be honest and frank, anyway. What you spend years building, someone may destroy overnight. Build, anyway. If you find serenity and happiness, they may be jealous. Be happy, anyway. The good you do today people will often forget tomorrow. Do good anyway. Give the world the best you have and it may never be enough, Give the world the best you have, anyway. You see, in the final analysis, it's all between you and God. It was never between you and them, anyway.[/quote] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Deus te Amat Posted March 27, 2008 Share Posted March 27, 2008 (edited) Amen. And thank you. I am praying.... Perhaps I will lurk less and say more. I must admit that I did not feel comfortable saying anything in more than a few threads... Edited March 27, 2008 by Deus_te_Amat Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Veritas Posted March 27, 2008 Share Posted March 27, 2008 + A few words; they are spoken softly, slowly, and imploringly (imagine a kitten's face when you read so that you do not assess malice that is not in fact there, please): If someone misunderstands another's posts, and leaves, that is not the fault of the original poster. It seems to me, that there is actually a lot of name calling and judgementalism against the orthodox, if anyone. "you're so judgemental" all you think about are habits (there are many, many counter-examples of this) etc. How is this in keeping with charity? Does anyone see the irony here? No one, has condemned anyone to hell and that is the judgement we are told not to make. Now, in discerning between what is good and what is evil, we each not only have a right, but a duty. That is not uncharitable. Woe to those, who call evil good, and good evil. I have seen nothing uncivil, except from some (not all), who have decided to leave. It amazes me, that this is even an issue. If people want to go, let them go. If they want to stay, let them stay. If people aren't willing to engage in the conversation, it doesn't make those, who are willing at fault. Furthermore, I have yet to see anything that is causation for someone to claim they have legitimately been treated poorly, except for Gemma, who was attacked in a very personal way, publicly. I do not recall having seen threads where there were personal attacks. This is very important. Did miss something? Should we continue to have a discussion about orthodoxy and the mission of phatmass? fine. I know we are a bunch of women, but someone feeling one way or another is not an indicator of validity of their beliefs or statements. Kind Regards, V Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
littlesister Posted March 27, 2008 Share Posted March 27, 2008 Amen again. Well said. Thank you. I haven't been at the phorum too long, but it does seem that there is a lot of judging and evaluating without a lot of basis in lived experience. Those who are searching...search. Those who have found their place....seek to encourage and perhaps even mentor. Let's keep it that way or we risk to mar - or worse - a very good thing. Good night and God bless. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lil Red Posted March 27, 2008 Share Posted March 27, 2008 i know the OP was trying to be helpful. but this thread will ultimately denigrate into more bickering. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts