puellapaschalis Posted March 29, 2008 Share Posted March 29, 2008 [quote name='hugheyforlife' post='1488146' date='Mar 30 2008, 01:02 AM']if a post makes you uncomfortable or you believe it should be edited, please REPORT IT. we don't see EVERYTHING. that's why there's a report button! [/quote] I always only ever used the report button to try and get rid of spam, back in the days when I regularly frequented Open Mic. When it comes to other posts that rankle with me I generally tell myself to get a grip and go and do something constructive with my time. Ironic, huh Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Deus te Amat Posted March 29, 2008 Share Posted March 29, 2008 How bout we all go about things as normal, ignore this thread and petty arguments, and help me to discern what God has planned for me, and if it is the religious life, where I belong and how to go about getting there? Sound good? It does to me. Set?..... go! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gloriagurl Posted March 29, 2008 Share Posted March 29, 2008 (edited) [quote name='puellapaschalis' post='1488088' date='Mar 29 2008, 07:40 PM']I hate jumping in on this, and thankfully I have enough of a busy life off the internet to hopefully harden me to the flames that this will get. However, I have to ask - in particular to gloriagurl, but perhaps to all of us: 1. If you want to respond to something and first you feel the need to clarify that [i]if[/i] a previous post implied [i]this[/i], then here's your passionate response to it - why not first post asking for clarity as to what someone actually meant by their words? I have no idea how Sr. Mary Catherine (no inverted commas needed here) took that post, but [i]to me[/i] (bla bla, non-American, bla bla, different English reading, bla bla) it sounded like someone was using the opportunity to have a rant and pushed in the conditional clause to appear to cover his back. I could be wrong and I'm sure I'll be told/flamed I am. If it is indeed what they meant, sure, go ahead, whatever. If it's not.... 2. ...the thread was about adoption, not about illegitimacy (although the two can often co-occur). If there's something that's so dear to your heart that you want to express it, but if it's only tangentially related to a thread, why post in that thread? Why not make another topic? A certain amount of thread drift is to be expected everywhere but there's a limit. [i]To me[/i] it seemed to be something of a thread hijack. I could be wrong and I'm sure I'll be told/flamed I am. 3. How do you view CAPS? How do you view [b]bold[/b]? What do you read into [i]italics[/i]? How might others - with perhaps more or less experience of online communication, or more or less experience with your particular dialect of English, or a completely linguistic/sociolinguistic/pragmatic background entirely, view those things? [i]To me[/i], caps are used to almost enforce ones opinion on someone else. In my case it has the opposite effect as if there are more than a couple of caps-locked words in a paragraph my brain will snap into tmc;dr mode. If you've got a point to be made which your heart just won't let go, there have to be better ways of expressing it without turning readers off. After all, isn't the point of exchanging things on a forum like this to at least try and convince others of your viewpoint? It's not going to help if they've given up reading. My €0,02. Which, because we round off, amounts to precisely nothing these days.[/quote] Puellapaschalis, I didn't expect to receive replies to my post but since you decided to reply I will respond. 1. I believed the post was clear, however since I can be wrong, I addressed that possibility up front. I was angry and hurt and I have a right to respond with my opinions in an open forum "in the moment" if I choose. I believe I have addressed the issue of how passionately I felt about the subject in previous posts, perhaps my implication that this may not have been the best choice was not clear enough. Let me make it clear. It may not have been the best choice...that's hardly a serious offense compared to what else I've seen on phatmass. Deliberate unkindness, name calling, judging etc. I was probably the only person to include in my post the possibility that I could have misinterpreted. No one who has disagreed with me has done me the same courtesy. And for the record, I have NEVER (caps are for emphasis) used inverted commas when typing Sister Mary Catharine's name. 2. The title of the thread did not include the word illegitimacy however post #5 introduced the word. Posts #6 and #7 were replies to that post. Post #8 appears to to me to be a reply to the illegitimacy issue. Post #9 is Sister Mary Catharine's post which specifically addresses the issue of illegitimacy. My post came after all of these. Perhaps the thread was hijacked, if so, it appears to me that the hijacking came before my response. 3. I don't know what tmc; dr mode is. My view of caps, italics and other similar changes in font is that this is used for emphasis or perhaps in an attempt to make a voice inflection "visible". I don't read anymore into it than that but I do know that a fair amount of people object to the use of too many of these types of expressions. That's fair enough. Perhaps I can find other ways to emphasize a point. Perhaps you know something I don't. If others are not reading my posts I'm not aware of it. No one who objected to my post addressed their concerns to me personally. Until this post, I surmised that I was included in the "dramatist" group. I believe I'm correct in my evaluation of that but maybe I am wrong. I don't know what the others feel - except for some who agreed with me - because they have not told me directly. The post above which I responded to caused me to feel ill at ease, so I replied to it. I don't actually know if it was meant for me specifically or not. I actually appreciate that you did me the courtesy to address me directly - even considering I initially didn't want to have to deal with responses. Thinking it through again, I realize that I appreciate your forthrightness. Some readers will turned off by my posts - or any random person's posts - some will not. My position and my right to post my opinion was supported by some people on the phorum, I have to assume these are the people who are not turned off. I'm also turned off by some posts, I quite enjoy others. I can't tell what the meaning or purpose is in the statements: "..the flames that this will get" and "I'm sure I will be told/flamed". Were you asking that no reply be rendered? Is it a defensive statement because past experiences have produced that result? Was it meant for me directly, indicating that you thought my response would be a "flame"? I'm not sure what this phorum's definition of "flaming" is. I have posted many a response, some passionate some not so, on many a forum, over the past 10 years or so. I've had people object to my posts, but I have never been accused of flaming. In my opinion this response is not a "flame" but I would be curious to know what your opinion is(regarding it's "flam-i-ness" (I don't mean to be flippant, I didn't have a word there so I made one up). I'd welcome your response either publically or privately - I leave that up to you. Pax (edited for typo) Edited March 29, 2008 by gloriagurl Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gloriagurl Posted March 29, 2008 Share Posted March 29, 2008 [quote name='Veritas' post='1488107' date='Mar 29 2008, 07:48 PM']+ Puella, Yep. What's the difference between "not open to response" and "moot". Sigh. Don't want another argument. Sister was dissed, this isn't debate, can we stop now or do they need to close it down? I think it's the same 2 or 3 people (all newbies interestingly), who have resulted in the shut downs. This thread is about thanking sister, not defending oneself. Please, leave it alone and let people thank a woman, who spent a significant amount of time here serving us. What a shame that because several people (all new) misunderstood her, and spoke harshly to her, she felt so wounded as to leave. Regarding the response of Sr. Lynn 'vs.' Sister Mary Catharine: one was personally attacked, the other was not, one has been here for several years and has made 400+ posts, the other has made under 10. One complained and vented disgust, another took the blame herself. Evidence and circumstance are helpful when evaluating.[/quote] The difference between "not open to response" and "moot' is that mine was a personal choice to receive or not receive "mail" and it came with the word, please attached to it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
littleflower+JMJ Posted March 30, 2008 Share Posted March 30, 2008 [quote name='Sr. Mary Catharine' post='1485312' date='Mar 26 2008, 09:43 PM']Dear Friends in Christ, A while ago I was asked by the father of a person on Vocation Station to consider coming onto the phorum after I posted a correction that was made about my religious community. I talked to my prioress who agreed that my presence could be helpful. I recalled how, since I entered over 17 years ago before the internet, I had no support and really no one to ask questions, compare notes, etc. I found the phorum encouraging and helpful and inspiring. Recently, it seems that my presence has engendered failures in charity, misunderstandings and misreadings of post of my own and others. Even more recently my identity has been questioned although from the beginning I have made it clear who I am and what community I have come from. For those who have been offended by my remarks or who felt that I was muzzling, lording it over them, etc. I'm sorry. That was never my intention. My viewpoint has often been different coming from my experience and the experiences of other vocation directreses and communities. I have tried to be careful NOT to give examples in order to be charitable to others. It's become obvious that my presence is not a help but a serious problem to this forum so it's time to depart. I would like to say that I have and will continue to pray for all of you that you will find what God truly desires for you but for those for whom this would be offensive, it's not meant to be. I also don't intend to check back and read posts. I've had little time to do this in awhile, anyway. Please pray for me and my community. In Jesus, Mary and St. Dominic, Sr. Mary Catharine of Jesus, OP Vocation Directress, Dominican Monastery of Our Lady of the Rosary, Summit, NJ[/quote] I really hope you are able to stay here at phatmass! I know we will be eternally grateful and forever appreciated for what you have shared with many posters here at the VB that I know so many have enjoyed! You will be in our prayers and thoughts, as a member of the phatmass phamily here [u]always[/u]! Please come back if you are able, for I know you will surely be missed! Thank you so much Sister Mary Catharine for your time, effort, input that you have put into the Vocations Board. How can we thank someone who is [i]living[/i] it out their vocation, and taking the time to stop in to help others! Once again, we thank you for your time and dedication to your vocation and share with others! I know through so many posts from others on here that so many have grown and learned so much from you, and will miss out on so much with your absence! With your [i]many years[/i] (wow!) in your vocation, we will surely be missing a great and valuable resource here at phatmass and that is so very sad! I apologize for any harm or hurt you may have felt from posters and hope you know that those who truly respect you recognize the great loss this is! Pax christi! <>< AMDG +JMJ+ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dominicansoul Posted March 30, 2008 Share Posted March 30, 2008 Well put Puellapaschalis! Well put Veritas! It seems to me there are a few individuals who went overboard in their responses to Sister. (NOT "SISTER"!) The rest of us seem to have really appreciated her and enjoyed her responses and posts. Some seem to have a problem in that, they MUST have the last word. And most of their last words don't make any sense, and are basically accusations of things that the person under attack didn't even write or speak of... But this is how I take those kinds of responses: I just wished sister would have too! Well, she's got better things to do! (Like pray for all of us!) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
franciscanheart Posted March 30, 2008 Share Posted March 30, 2008 This has got to stop. Please everyone take a moment to pray for one another, breathe deeply, and continue on with activity "as normal". This thread is closed. If you have any issues with the closing or with someone on the board, please take it up in private. Thank you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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