That Charity May Not Be Wounded

[HollyDolly]

Please don't leave,or if you have,please reconsider.I'm not sure what really happend here exactly, but i think it just wasn't postings on the phorum,but possibly private messages as well you recieved from people.

I'm sure you did a lot of good for many,and helped steer them towards a religious vocation.
Jesus was mocked and reviled,but He neverl let anyone stop Him in His mission.
We all wish you the best,and hopefully Our Blessed Mother will move you to at least stop by once and awhile.
Please keep all of us in your prayers as we keep you in our prayers.

[Mary-Kathryn]

Sister,

I know you won't read this, but I am sorry you have been so deeply wounded ( and yes, I recognize that as a human being you have been terribly hurt) No one deserves to be put in that kind of pain. You gave of yourself even when you had no time. I for one, know how invaluable you are in giving the correct information and in being here for the young women who need you.

I'm not innocent myself when it comes to hurting folks: In the past, I've badly hurt others and I've been hurt just as bad-in the long run, it was more painful for me when I realized how much hurt I caused.

Pray for us all Sister, in our bumbling ways. I don't live too terribly far from you, so if you have a public chapel I may just pop up this summer! (especially if I smell Bar-B-que coming from the cloister)

*This is a note for SMC. It's not open to comments or debate, so don't.

Edited March 27, 2008 by Mary-Kathryn

[alicemary]

This says alot about the demise of vocation station as it once was. I used to enjoy my time on phatmass, but it is no longer a place where people encourage each other in their vocation in life, their job is only to judge. How many good people have left over the last few months? And why? For the few vocal idiots....sorry, my charity is gone. You know who you are....supposidly speaking the truth of the Church. If you only know how sad you really are. To loose someone of Sr. Catherine' caliber...how shocking and what a loss for this forum.
I, too, don't write much anymore. In fact, I dont even bother reading most days. I skip over the majority of the messages because it is just rhetoric. Now with Sr Catherine leaving, as so many other wonderful sisters have left, wow.
I am quite sad and dismayed

[DameAgnes]

I'm very sorry to read this - Sister Catherine (not "Sister" Catherine) was a valuable well of information, particularly of Dominican histories and practices and she was enormously helpful with information on not just Dominican houses, but a Carmelite house and a Hermitage or two. I always thought her posts were well done; she simply - like a lot of busy religious I know - did not have the time to dawdle, so she cut through to the heart of an issue. In an era of hypersensitivism, where - as has happened to me, here - simply repeating a poster's own words back to them and asking an honest question in all sisterly Christian charity is described as "biting," that doesn't always play well, I know.

My grandmother always told me that God would speak to us in ways we were not always expecting - through a chance remark, an aside, etc. Whether we are willing to hear and take it to prayer - that's another thing, entirely.

The adoption thread is a study...of what I am not sure. But having read it in Easter week, I am thinking that no one reading it will be inspired to think "see how these Christians love one another."

Shame on us, indeed.

[Carolyn]

[Totus Tuus]

People seem to be taking VS too seriously. I see very little change beyond the fact that there's an influx of new members and not as many of the old members. I'm not addressing SMC, just the general feeling people seem to have. It feels like there's a conspiracy theory going on - but coming from someone who only checks in periodically and reads through threads, VS seems the same as always to me. As far as SMC goes, I have seen a lot of arguments take place involving her, etc., and I agree with everyone else that for the most part she was just misunderstood by others.

God bless.

[Veritas]

[quote name='Totus Tuus' post='1486623' date='Mar 28 2008, 10:29 AM']People seem to be taking VS too seriously. I see very little change beyond the fact that there's an influx of new members and not as many of the old members. I'm not addressing SMC, just the general feeling people seem to have. It feels like there's a conspiracy theory going on - but coming from someone who only checks in periodically and reads through threads, VS seems the same as always to me. As far as SMC goes, I have seen a lot of arguments take place involving her, etc., and I agree with everyone else that for the most part she was just misunderstood by others.

God bless.[/quote]

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Yes! To everything! From someone (Totus Tuus), who's been around for a while!

[dominicansoul]

I know Sr. Mary Catharine, O.P., personally, and spent a great deal of time praying with her and her beautiful community. Sr. Mary Catharine is a NUN, a BRIDE OF CHRIST, and also, a WOMAN. What I found so refreshing about her and her sisters, were they were not made out of plastic, they didn't go moping around the convent, "prisoners" of their own piety! They are very human...very emotional, very strong, very intelligent...in fact, I witnessed how blessed they are by God, as their gifts were very apparent to me. I believe God grants them such gifts, because they have chosen HIM in such a radical way. Yes, I found myself watching them, in amazement...and I felt inspired by them. Their holiness and their humanity impressed me. I believe this is what Sr. Mary Catharine tried so hard to impress upon us in her responses to the various threads of this forum. She tried to describe as best she could what Religious truly are, as so many have different ideas of what's real and what's stereotypical and false. Religious are not frozen statues of holiness. They struggle, too, as they strive to live a reflection of the Image of Christ: Divinity and Humanity...

Her opinions were important because SHE'S LIVING THE LIFE...

I know Sr. Mary Catharine, O.P. in that I know she would never be condescending to anyone here in this forum. After reading the thread on adoption, I found myself completely frustrated, as I wanted to reach into the computer and shake those who were posting those ridiculous responses! They have no idea who they were addressing! We must always be respectful towards Religious. It should become a habit for all of us..

Farewell dear Sr.-in-Christ! I am thankful I have ways other than this forum to keep in touch with you!

[gloriagurl]

[quote name='dominicansoul' post='1487353' date='Mar 29 2008, 12:27 AM']Her opinions were important because SHE'S LIVING THE LIFE...

I know Sr. Mary Catharine, O.P. in that I know she would never be condescending to anyone here in this forum. After reading the thread on adoption, I found myself completely frustrated, as I wanted to reach into the computer and shake those who were posting those ridiculous responses! They have no idea who they were addressing! We must always be respectful towards Religious. It should become a habit for all of us..[/quote]
=============================
I believe it's time for me to respond to the unjustice that has been allowed to continue unfettered for a number of days now. There has been a great deal of name-calling, accusations and, by the admission of one poster a deliberately uncharitable post which was allowed to be published without comment by any legitimate authority. No comment AT ALL regarding DELIBERATE UNKINDNESS.

I will not speak for others who posted strong responses on the adoption thread. I will speak for myself. I do not now, nor did I as it was happening agree with all of the posters on that thread.

In my first post (I believe it was the first one, anyone is welcome to check) I PURPOSELY addressed Sr Mary Catharine, OUT OF RESPECT FOR HER POSITION, telling her that (paraphrase) if I was misreading or misinterpreting her intention then my post was NOT MEANT FOR HER and that IF I WAS MISREADING, I APOLOGIZE IN ADVANCE FOR WHAT I WAS ABOUT TO SAY. My reaction to the adoption thread was personal and strong, and was a reaction to the issues surrounding ILLEGITIMACY only - I specifically stated that it was NOT RELATED TO THE ISSUE OF A COMMUNITY'S RIGHT TO INFORMATION. In fact, I stated that SEVERAL TIMES.

From my perspective, Sister Mary Catharine's response to my first post was CONDESCENDING. Words and phrases like "moot" and "once and for all", at the very least, communicate a DESIRE (if not a command) to END SOMETHING. I suppose it's possible that they were written in haste and Sister did not intend what was ultimately communicated to me. Though, in the interest of honesty, it is hard for me to accept that anyone using the phrase "once and for all" and the word "moot" is not MEANING to communicate "dictionary definitions" of those words. No matter how hastily one may type them...there are not too many interpretations that can be assigned to them...they are pretty simple, clear words. That may be seen as judgmental...it is judgmental - OF WORDS.

Please, at LEAST, afford me the basic human courtesy of presuming that I have a brain and a reasonably adept mind....that I understand the meanings of phrases and words and that I at least have A CHANCE at a sensible interpretation....that my perceptions are not somehow CRAZY...unless of course that is what is meant. I don't know. I suppose that's possible, the word RIDICULOUS in this post gets very close to that meaning.

Everyone sees things from their own perspective. No one is perfect. No religious is entitled to any more respect than any other person on the planet - IN A PERSONAL WAY - we, as Catholics, are taught to respect the office, the position, the title, the offering of a life in service to God and God's people, but to suggest that one person deserves respect over and above others on a PERSONAL LEVEL is an afront to every person created equally in the Image of God.

With regard to the statement that "they have no idea who they were addressing" - that's simply not true in my case.

There have been and continue to be more than one person "living the life" on this phorum. Several days ago, one of them, Sr. Lynn chose to leave because she was upset about some posts - I suspect, based on what I read in her last post that she felt somewhat disrespected by some while she was here. There was no flurry of activity, no posts closed down, no discussions ended because Sister was upset, no correction on how to treat a religious....nothing with regard to any authority or direction. A few kind phatmassers wrote to Sister Lynn...I believe a couple encouraged her to stay...but for the most part this professed, consecrated religious woman was simply ignored. I know others have brought that up, I felt it was worthy of repeating given the above post and the statement contained therein which exhorts us to respect ALL RELIGIOUS, ALWAYS.

A few days ago I had made a decision not to post again but then was encouraged to continue by some posters so I changed my mind and continued to read and post. I'm actually sorry I changed my mind...what I have read is extremely disturbing to me. So, I'm rethinking my decision about being on phatmass at all. I'm sure my leaving would be good news for some. I'm equally sure it would be bad news for others.

I join at least one other poster when I say - please (actually I don't think that poster said "please) this post is NOT OPEN for replies - so please don't.

St Augustine said: You dare not genuflect before His Presence in the Eucharist if you are unwilling to genuflect before His Presence in your brother or sister.

I believe his exhortation was to all of us, religious and lay....or then again it's entirely possible he was speaking in his Rule to religious only...I'm honestly not sure about that.

[rachael]

I am not one to come around to Vocation Station often, but this makes me sad....

[MissyP89]

Has anyone thought of maybe either...

1) Sending a prayer request to her from us through the Summit Dominicans website?

or

2) Writing her letters thanking her and letting her know how much she is/was appreciated here?

Like Rachael, I'm not one to come around here, but I have been watching and miss Sr. Catharine as well. It's a shame this had to happen.

[puellapaschalis]

I hate jumping in on this, and thankfully I have enough of a busy life off the internet to hopefully harden me to the flames that this will get. However, I have to ask - in particular to gloriagurl, but perhaps to all of us:

1. If you want to respond to something and first you feel the need to clarify that [i]if[/i] a previous post implied [i]this[/i], then here's your passionate response to it - why not first post asking for clarity as to what someone actually meant by their words? I have no idea how Sr. Mary Catherine (no inverted commas needed here) took that post, but [i]to me[/i] (bla bla, non-American, bla bla, different English reading, bla bla) it sounded like someone was using the opportunity to have a rant and pushed in the conditional clause to appear to cover his back. I could be wrong and I'm sure I'll be told/flamed I am.

If it is indeed what they meant, sure, go ahead, whatever. If it's not....

2. ...the thread was about adoption, not about illegitimacy (although the two can often co-occur). If there's something that's so dear to your heart that you want to express it, but if it's only tangentially related to a thread, why post in that thread? Why not make another topic? A certain amount of thread drift is to be expected everywhere but there's a limit. [i]To me[/i] it seemed to be something of a thread hijack. I could be wrong and I'm sure I'll be told/flamed I am.

3. How do you view CAPS? How do you view [b]bold[/b]? What do you read into [i]italics[/i]? How might others - with perhaps more or less experience of online communication, or more or less experience with your particular dialect of English, or a completely linguistic/sociolinguistic/pragmatic background entirely, view those things? [i]To me[/i], caps are used to almost enforce ones opinion on someone else. In my case it has the opposite effect as if there are more than a couple of caps-locked words in a paragraph my brain will snap into tmc;dr mode.

If you've got a point to be made which your heart just won't let go, there have to be better ways of expressing it without turning readers off. After all, isn't the point of exchanging things on a forum like this to at least try and convince others of your viewpoint? It's not going to help if they've given up reading.

My €0,02. Which, because we round off, amounts to precisely nothing these days.

[Veritas]

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Puella, Yep. What's the difference between "not open to response" and "moot". Sigh. Don't want another argument. Sister was dissed, this isn't debate, can we stop now or do they need to close it down? I think it's the same 2 or 3 people (all newbies interestingly), who have resulted in the shut downs. This thread is about thanking sister, not defending oneself. Please, leave it alone and let people thank a woman, who spent a significant amount of time here serving us. What a shame that because several people (all new) misunderstood her, and spoke harshly to her, she felt so wounded as to leave.

Regarding the response of Sr. Lynn 'vs.' Sister Mary Catharine: one was personally attacked, the other was not, one has been here for several years and has made 400+ posts, the other has made under 10. One complained and vented disgust, another took the blame herself. Evidence and circumstance are helpful when evaluating.

Edited March 29, 2008 by Veritas

[Veritas]

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p.s. For other newbies, please know, VS isn't like this. There are hundreds of wonderful posters, hundreds of lovely and helpful threads, and several years of good things. Sure, there are bumps, blips, and misunderstandings along the way, but personal attacks are NOT part of phatmass/Vocation Station. A couple new posters are learning the ropes and it's taking a little while for everyone to get their bearings, grow-up, and receive a little formation on phatmass etiquette. There is a lot of good here and we won't throw the baby out with the bathwater, so to speak. Keep praying!

[franciscanheart]

if a post makes you uncomfortable or you believe it should be edited, please REPORT IT. we don't see EVERYTHING. that's why there's a report button!