Dating/courtships And Physical Touch

[friendofJPII]

[quote name='XIX' post='1500088' date='Apr 15 2008, 02:05 PM']I have a few quirky things that I plan to save for my wedding day.[/quote]

TMI!

[friendofJPII]

[i]no it does make sense. with chocolate, i doubt it would kick up much fuss if you didn't have a problem with it to begin with, but with chastity nowadays, it is a much more severe problem in our society than chocolate addiction ( ), and i wish there would be more people willing to take a stand and make a testimony. good plugin opportunity for Theology of the Body, too[/i].

Nowhere in TOB does it state that courting couples cannot kiss. We have to be careful not to make up new rules. The Church teaches that unmarried couples should not engage in activities with the implicit intent of sexual arousal. Which makes sense--don't start the engine if you are not going to drive the car. But we have to discern to difference between an activity and affection...kissing should can be a sign of affection--- it should not be an activity prior to marriage. We must be sincere in all our actions....I think it is just as grievous (or almost as grievous) for a man to flirt with girls he is not interested in just to boost his own ego, as it is for him to engage in other physically impure activities. TOB embraces the goodness of human sexuality, the dignity of the human person, it does not embrace a puritanical view. The world is [b]so bad[/b][i][/i] that we sometimes think the more conservative the better, which is not always true.

Edited April 15, 2008 by friendofJPII

[XIX]

[quote name='friendofJPII' post='1500304' date='Apr 15 2008, 07:34 PM']TMI![/quote]
No I didn't mean that.

I mean, I might not drink a guinness until my wedding day. Pointless stuff.

[Alycin]

Uhhhh for the record I had no idea some people thought "making out" meant french kissing + touching above the waist. That is NOT what I mean when I say make out! I just thought it meant french kissing a lot.

Also, and I speak from experience, french kissing doesn't have to mean slobbering all over someone or "sticking your tongue down someone's throat"... french kisses can be short, sweet, romantic, and chaste. And totally not gross.


That being said... I wouldn't french kiss someone that I wasn't in a serious, marriage-minded relationship with.

[Archaeology cat]

[quote name='Alycin' post='1501571' date='Apr 17 2008, 07:18 AM']Uhhhh for the record I had no idea some people thought "making out" meant french kissing + touching above the waist. That is NOT what I mean when I say make out! I just thought it meant french kissing a lot.[/quote]
That was my definition of making out as well.

[quote name='Alycin' post='1501571' date='Apr 17 2008, 07:18 AM']Also, and I speak from experience, french kissing doesn't have to mean slobbering all over someone or "sticking your tongue down someone's throat"... french kisses can be short, sweet, romantic, and chaste. And totally not gross.
That being said... I wouldn't french kiss someone that I wasn't in a serious, marriage-minded relationship with.[/quote]
Ditto. My husband is the only man (not in my family) that I've kissed at all, let alone French kissed. We kissed before getting married, but when we had discerned that we were going to get married. We had a long-distance relationship and would often greet each other with a short kiss, since we often went months without seeing each other.

[Alycin]

[quote name='Archaeology cat' post='1501578' date='Apr 17 2008, 03:12 AM']Ditto. My husband is the only man (not in my family) that I've kissed at all, let alone French kissed. We kissed before getting married, but when we had discerned that we were going to get married. We had a long-distance relationship and would often greet each other with a short kiss, since we often went months without seeing each other.[/quote]

awwwwww

[missionseeker]

1) There's a difference between giving up intimate physical touches and not needing them.

2) preists and nuns still get hugs. I've hugged preists before. I've hugged nuns before.

Humans definitely need that physical touch. For comfort, for safety, for lots of reasons.

I was really screwed up as a child and now the only thing that I really want is to be held - not in a romantic sense, just because that's just what would help me- but, because I was molested as a kid, I won't let anyone really touch me now. I can't let anyone. I freak out if someone does and it becomes worse than not being touched at all.

It's very very naive and denying to say that humans don't NEED to be touched.

[XIX]

[quote name='Alycin' post='1501571' date='Apr 17 2008, 03:18 AM']Also, and I speak from experience, french kissing doesn't have to mean slobbering all over someone or "sticking your tongue down someone's throat"... french kisses can be short, sweet, romantic, and chaste. And totally not gross.[/quote]
Oh semantics...

I'm all for short, sweet, romantic, chaste kisses.

[Deb]

You are all so very very good. I truly admire you. You should be proud of staying with your convictions of faith. I wish I had just a teeny bit of that when I was younger.

[XIX]

Well we're glad to have you in the Church now.

Edited April 17, 2008 by XIX

[johnnydigit]

[quote name='XIX' post='1499020' date='Apr 14 2008, 06:43 AM']False.

[url="http://www.usatoday.com/news/health/2003-03-09-hug-usat_x.htm"]http://www.usatoday.com/news/health/2003-0...-hug-usat_x.htm[/url][/quote]

developmental growth and possible death != not having a spiffy day at work.


"The findings suggest one reason that isolated, lonely people tend to have poorer health" - they probably are lacking God, as well as the article itself.

God's peace > touch for an adult.

[MissScripture]

[quote name='johnnydigit' post='1521160' date='May 7 2008, 01:42 AM']developmental growth and possible death != not having a spiffy day at work.
"The findings suggest one reason that isolated, lonely people tend to have poorer health" - they probably are lacking God, as well as the article itself.

God's peace > touch for an adult.[/quote]
And you know this how?

You are forgetting that at ANY stage in life, we are still physical AND spiritual beings. We need to take care of our physical side just as much as the spiritual side.

[Deb]

We need to take care of our physical side in regards to health but, I truly believe now, that if you empty yourselves to the Lord and let him fill you, your spiritual side will be all you need. Our society seems to want everyone to believe that you NEED to have sex to be a fulfilled human being and that is not so.
Even in a marriage, as wonderful as sex is, it is not the primary reason people get married nor should it be the number one focus in a marriage.
I have now progressed to the point where I have no idea what I am talking about but, I think I meant something. Will get back to you.

[MissScripture]

[quote name='Deb' post='1521293' date='May 7 2008, 12:02 PM']We need to take care of our physical side in regards to health but, I truly believe now, that if you empty yourselves to the Lord and let him fill you, your spiritual side will be all you need. Our society seems to want everyone to believe that you NEED to have sex to be a fulfilled human being and that is not so.
Even in a marriage, as wonderful as sex is, it is not the primary reason people get married nor should it be the number one focus in a marriage.
I have now progressed to the point where I have no idea what I am talking about but, I think I meant something. Will get back to you.[/quote]
I'm not saying sex, I'm saying a hug, or a pat on the back or holding someone's hand or something of that nature. Simple affection, showing that you are loved and wanted. What I am saying has nothing to do with sex.

[missionseeker]

[quote name='MissScripture' post='1521225' date='May 7 2008, 09:00 AM']And you know this how?

You are forgetting that at ANY stage in life, we are still physical AND spiritual beings. We need to take care of our physical side just as much as the spiritual side.[/quote]


yeah...

Johnnydigit, I don't get hugs. I have God. He's AMAZING. Like, I can see how much He does for me in everything. Yet, I'm still lonely and isolated (and don't tell me that it's because I don't love God enough that He's not sufficient. He is. I'm not lonely and isolated because of a lack of God, but because of bad stuff that happened.) I don't NEEd hugs, I suppose, but when I get them they are like a new start on the day.

Also, I have really bad food/eating health problems BECAUSE of it.

I think that stereotyping people like that is horrible. People need other people. They need to feel to love and affection and when they don't it messes them up physically and mentally. It's GREAT to have God and always be able to know Him, but we also need the physical. NOt in a sexual way, but just because we're humans and physical beings.

Some people might be able to transcend that physicality completely, but not many are and when they do, it's not their human powers that give them that grace.