cathoholic_anonymous Posted March 25, 2008 Share Posted March 25, 2008 When I was at school there were people who would have competitions to see who could kiss the highest number of people at a party. I definitely didn't agree with kissing in that context. In a strong relationship, I think kisses and hugs are perfectly acceptable. Hugs can be platonic and I will happily give them to all my friends. Holding hands is all right and so is giving back massages (back scratches would be more useful in my case, as I get terribly itchy and currently have to scratch myself with a hairbrush due to lack of willing scratchers). I don't know why anybody would want a foot massage. Anything else (groping, petting, etc.) is definitely too intense. I don't know what 'making out kissing' is. Is it American slang? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kenrockthefirst Posted March 25, 2008 Share Posted March 25, 2008 [quote name='Cathoholic Anonymous' post='1483669' date='Mar 25 2008, 09:35 AM']I don't know what 'making out kissing' is. Is it American slang?[/quote] It means snogging. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Church Punk Posted March 25, 2008 Share Posted March 25, 2008 i think it depends on the couple, like if you are dating the same person for 3 years and you have not once even touched each other or kissed, I would say there is something wrong. Touching is a way of showing affection and can be done so in appropriate manners for the level at which the couple is at. Obvisouly full blown making out and groping would not be appropriate for a couple only dating a week. However if a couple is engaged, I think it would be very much acceptable as a means of showing their affection for one another and not for the mear thrill of doing it, this moves into the category of use. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scardella Posted March 25, 2008 Share Posted March 25, 2008 I'm quite sure that different people are have different sensitivities to physical affection. It even changes over time. Context also makes a difference too. There are some things that always wrong for the unmarried couple. Fornication is the most obvious. AFAIK French kissing in general is always a mortal sin, touching private parts, etc. There are things that can be arousing for some, and not for others. Extended hugging can be arousing, particularly if you're pressing yourself against the other. However, it can just as easily be an expression of emotion, eg reuniting after being apart for months. A lot of it is nuance and intention. The mindset you keep is far more important than the parts you touch. You shouldn't be trying to toe the line, saying that you'll go as far as you can go, because you'll find yourself spilling over the line eventually. You shouldn't be running away from all affection, because you'll find that you're driving yourself neurotic. You should be wanting to have the appropriate amount of affection, given the sensitivities and maturity of yourself and your significant other, and given the level of the relationship. There should always be some level of physical affection in any dating relationship, but it by no means does it need to include kissing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Autumn Dusk Posted March 25, 2008 Share Posted March 25, 2008 I don't see anything wrong with being curled up on a couch watching a movie with a boy/girl friend. As long as the movie is appropriate. I mean its not like you're "WWOWW mordor turns me on I touched you during that movie we gotta have sex" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
T-Bone _ Posted March 25, 2008 Share Posted March 25, 2008 [quote name='Autumn Dusk' post='1483765' date='Mar 25 2008, 12:03 PM']I don't see anything wrong with being curled up on a couch watching a movie with a boy/girl friend. As long as the movie is appropriate. I mean its not like you're "WWOWW mordor turns me on I touched you during that movie we gotta have sex"[/quote] If Mordor turns you on, you have more things to worry about than premarital relations. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MissyP89 Posted March 25, 2008 Share Posted March 25, 2008 [quote name='cmotherofpirl' post='1483422' date='Mar 24 2008, 11:12 PM']People think groping and petting is ACCEPTABLE?????[/quote] It's worth noting that not everyone on this board is Catholic. And on French kissing and Catholics: Most young Catholics (or at least those catechized as such) are so immersed in secularism that they really [i]don't[/i] find anything inherently wrong with the action. French kissing started happening in my circle of friends at age 11. Publicly...it wasn't, strange as this might sound, necessarily meant to arouse. Thankfully, I managed to avoid to bulk of it, all while finding a gentleman who values chastity. Nice catch, I'd say. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
XIX Posted March 25, 2008 Share Posted March 25, 2008 [quote name='MissyP89' post='1483913' date='Mar 25 2008, 04:38 PM']It's worth noting that not everyone on this board is Catholic. And on French kissing and Catholics: Most young Catholics (or at least those catechized as such) are so immersed in secularism that they really [i]don't[/i] find anything inherently wrong with the action. French kissing started happening in my circle of friends at age 11. Publicly...it wasn't, strange as this might sound, necessarily meant to arouse. Thankfully, I managed to avoid to bulk of it, all while finding a gentleman who values chastity. Nice catch, I'd say. [/quote] It absolutely baffles me that chastity-minded Catholics often believe that French kissing is okay. To be fair, I had been completely convinced of the Church's teaching on sexuality for years by the time it dawned on me that French kissing wasn't such a great idea. I actually asked Jason Evert what the difference between a chaste kiss and an unchaste kiss was. In front of 700 people. When I was 17. At an all-boys school. THAT was fun! BTW, should it be called "Freedom kissing?" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Barbarus Posted March 25, 2008 Share Posted March 25, 2008 My SO and I have gone up to the line (intercourse) but not crossed. We agreed that we have to reign things back from the point we were at, but we are not cutting out French kissing. We are not officially engaged yet but have expressed the desire to marry each other, so in my mind that gives a little more leeway. We have already talked about getting married in a little less than a year, and are starting to figure out where we will do that, etc. As a couple, we are growing closer emotionally, intellectually, and spiritually. While we are not going to consummate our relationship before marriage, physical closeness increases too. It is part of affirming that we love each other, and find each other physically attractive, and as long as we don't go "all the way" and keep boundaries in place to help guard against hormone-induced poor judgment, we are both comfortable with where things stand physically. Including French kissing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MissyP89 Posted March 25, 2008 Share Posted March 25, 2008 [quote name='XIX' post='1483942' date='Mar 25 2008, 06:23 PM']It absolutely baffles me that chastity-minded Catholics often believe that French kissing is okay. To be fair, I had been completely convinced of the Church's teaching on sexuality for years by the time it dawned on me that French kissing wasn't such a great idea. I actually asked Jason Evert what the difference between a chaste kiss and an unchaste kiss was. In front of 700 people. When I was 17. At an all-boys school. THAT was fun! BTW, should it be called "Freedom kissing?" [/quote] *wince* Sorry, XIX...just picturing the scene makes me feel for you. Regarding my previous post about kids French kissing, I considered this: at an age that young (11), maybe some things aren't as sexually charged. Think of real little ones kissing. I suppose it's possible for very pure people to remove the sexual element from it... Then again, I can't judge, having never been there. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
curtins Posted March 25, 2008 Share Posted March 25, 2008 The aged old question of making out/ french kissing: how many threads have we had on this subject? I think its safe to say its grave matter- hormones kick in and your body thinks its a precoursor to sex. At the very least its putting yourself in the occasion of grave sin. As for other things, as someone mentioned, intent is very important- why are you holding hands, why are you hugging, why are you kissing, why are you resting on shoulders---- is it a sign of affection, or for the purpose of pleasure/arousal........... the former would not be sinful as the later would be. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MissScripture Posted March 25, 2008 Share Posted March 25, 2008 I'm curious, since French kissing and making out are listed seperately here, what do people see as the difference, if any, between these? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
XIX Posted March 25, 2008 Share Posted March 25, 2008 (edited) This is only a guess--but I would guess that making out would equal a long Freedom kissing session. Like 5 minutes or something. Whereas a single Freedom kiss could last a few seconds. Edited March 25, 2008 by XIX Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Barbarus Posted March 25, 2008 Share Posted March 25, 2008 Making out typically involves above-the-waist touching; French kissing does not have to. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Barbarus Posted March 25, 2008 Share Posted March 25, 2008 5 minutes is not a long kiss. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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