Dating/courtships And Physical Touch

[MissyP89]

[quote name='Nihil Obstat' date='22 December 2009 - 05:34 PM' timestamp='1261521256' post='2024680']
I know this is kind of 'common knowledge' and all that, but I'll be honest, I have my doubts. I'm not convinced guys are actually that different when it comes to something like that.
[/quote]

Definitely not. A major difference though is that our libidos are connected to how we're feeling emotionally. If we're not feeling happy and comfortable, we're probably not going to be in the mood. In general, though, we're all the same--I know some women who struggle with chastity more than a lot of men do.

[Moosey]

What I meant to say was "in most cases." I know that it can't be said for everyone. Like I said, it depends on the couple. I have more of a drive than some guys do, sorry if thats TMI

[dominicansoul]

i think a little peck on the cheek is nice...but as far as the heavy breathing, open mouthed passionate kisses and heavy petting and hands up each others shirts...no...

if a couple is meant to be together forever, it's nice to keep the mystery in the relationship before the wedding night...

if a couple is not meant to be together forever, than, it's a good thing you didn't give anything away while you dated...

there's so much intimacy between those in love without having to ever really physically touch...

Edited December 22, 2009 by dominicansoul

[Jesus_lol]

[quote name='MissyP89' date='22 December 2009 - 02:43 PM' timestamp='1261521819' post='2024690']
Definitely not. A major difference though is that our libidos are connected to how we're feeling emotionally. If we're not feeling happy and comfortable, we're probably not going to be in the mood. In general, though, we're all the same--I know some women who struggle with chastity more than a lot of men do.
[/quote]

i can see that. It is way easier for a woman to get laid if she wants to than it is for a man, so it would be like trying to quit smoking with a pack in your pocket.

that said, there are some physical reactions for guys that make it harder for guys to stop if it gets really far along.

pure biological imperative suggests to guys to spread their seed around, while women tend to need a secure environment, and good mate. (nature wise)


still, i was surprised to find reserves of restraint in myself that i didnt know previously existed.

[jeffpugh]

"macking"? Is that a spelling mistake?

[Jesus_lol]

[quote name='Sacred Music Man' date='23 December 2009 - 01:16 PM' timestamp='1261603016' post='2025148']
"macking"? Is that a spelling mistake?
[/quote]

nope, slang for making out, or in some instances flirting "ie, man i saw john macking on bethany all night, but he got nowhere with her"

Edited December 23, 2009 by Jesus_lol

[jeffpugh]

Okay. Thanks.

[Moosey]

[quote name='Jesus_lol' date='23 December 2009 - 05:18 PM' timestamp='1261603112' post='2025152']
nope, slang for making out, or in some instances flirting "ie, man i saw john macking on bethany all night, but he got nowhere with her"
[/quote]
Yeah, I mean it as the former. Making out and such.

[Lil Red]

[quote name='Sacred Music Man' date='23 December 2009 - 02:16 PM' timestamp='1261603016' post='2025148']
"macking"? Is that a spelling mistake?
[/quote]
+J.M.J.+
nope.

[jeffpugh]

[quote name='Lil Red' date='23 December 2009 - 04:57 PM' timestamp='1261605432' post='2025219']
+J.M.J.+
nope.
[/quote]
A little late on the uptake...

[XIX]

[quote name='Slappo' date='04 December 2009 - 05:37 PM' timestamp='1259962647' post='2014477']
I have to highly highly disagree with the bolded line. Human love grows in perfection but is not itself perfect.

The descriptions you gave above can be reached during this life, but even then only with heroic virtue and grace. To say only those with heroic virtue can be in love is majorly false. It is [b]through love[/b] that we attain heroic virtue.

I love my fiancee, but I may not yet ungrudingly take her to the bathroom and clean her body and the bathroom from her bowel movements. I would still do it, but not ungrudingly or uncomplaintant in my heart. Will I reach a point where I could do such an action completely lovingly? I hope so, but just because I can't now doesn't mean I don't love her.
[/quote]
There is also a big difference between falling in love with someone and loving someone.

[Moosey]

There isnt?

[XIX]

Falling in love has mostly to do with emotions. Loving someone is a decision to do what's best for your partner, even when you emotionally don't "feel like it."

We can't really decide whom we have feelings towards, so it follows that we don't have total control over whom we fall in love with. Of course by loving someone [i]unconditionally, [/i] we can cultivate the feelings of romance and such. But the decision to love another person is very different from falling in love.

[Moosey]

Oh, we're agreed then. I thought you said there wasn't a difference between the two when there is in fact a decided difference. I love my brother but I'm not in love with him.

[missionseeker]

[quote name='Slappo' date='22 December 2009 - 04:46 PM' timestamp='1261518411' post='2024650']
the fact that you're far away makes it all the more reason for you to not get really close for long periods of time.

Distance makes the heart grow fonder... distance also makes the hormones turn into raging barbaric fiends that will stop at near nothing before getting their way.


I haven't seen my fiancee in 5 months and she comes in 4 days... Our boundaries are set higher then ever before and we're more strict about them because of how much we miss physical touch.
[/quote]
For some reason, and I am not sure how to word why, I just can't agree with this. Maybe it's because our relationship is completely opposite of yours in that it's mostly long distance whereas yours at least for a while was not. I don't know. But I find the idea that distance makes the hormones turn into "raging barbaric fiends" as a little odd. I mean, sure it's an issue. But I think it's an issue for all relationships, not just long distance relationships. But the key is to remember the other person, you know? I don't want to be an obstacle for him. And despite however much I might *want* to keep kissing him, I know that not only do *I* have to keep myself chaste, but I want to make sure that I don't wreck his chastity either. Cuz there really is nothing better than kneeling at the communion rail beside him.

[quote name='Nihil Obstat' date='22 December 2009 - 05:34 PM' timestamp='1261521256' post='2024680']
I know this is kind of 'common knowledge' and all that, but I'll be honest, I have my doubts. I'm not convinced guys are actually that different when it comes to something like that.
[/quote]

I could agree with that.