Sexual Objectification In Marriage

[rizz_loves_jesus]

I brought up the matter of sexual objectification in marriage on another board that I post on. I said that it can be disastrous, even in marriage. Everyone that responded said that a man will objectify his wife no matter what, and that it is actually a very good thing within marriage.

Is this true? I always thought that sex was an expression of love, but if couples are allowed to objectify each other... doesn't that kind of defeat the purpose?

[picchick]

Man and Woman are both human. Thus they are equal and deserve the respect of one another. Sexual objectification is always bad because it takes the dignity of that human person, whether it is a man or woman, and make it into an object or something subhuman.

Sex is an expression of love. It is the selfless giving of oneself to your spouse. By sexually objectifying your spouse you are using sex as a selfish act for your pleasure only. You do not consider the feelings or pleasure of your spouse.

Meg

[MIKolbe]

to treat someone...anyone.. like an object rather than a person is wrong.

or am i missing something?

[rizz_loves_jesus]

[quote name='MIkolbe' post='1478259' date='Mar 16 2008, 04:20 PM']or am i missing something?[/quote]

To be honest, I was asking the same thing when I saw the responses o_O

[b]My post:[/b]
[quote]Anyways, are you saying it's morally acceptable for a man to objectify his wife during sex? Lust is all about objectification, if he carries that out in marriage, the results will be disastrous.[/quote]

[b]The responses:[/b]
[quote]Sorry to butt in , but, I think a man can objectify his wife without hurting the marriage, it is good for men to lust after their wives! More power to them if "she's still the one" after lots of years. Read the Song of Solomon![/quote]

[quote]Well, the "objectifying" is a natural part of a man's makeup. It's there, and you can't just wish it away. It's what has kept our species alive and multiplying for so long, it's just how we are made.

So to contain it within a monogamous relationship seems to be perfectly innocent to me, and as it should be.

I really just can't wrap my mind around any objections to that, sorry.[/quote]

[picchick]

I think that they are misunderstanding the true meaning of lust vs. love. A man should LOVE after his wife. Lust is not good. It can ruin the marriage because there is NO LOVE there. Wanting the pleasures of sex is what keeps the human race going. Not ovjectification.

What site was this?

[rizz_loves_jesus]

www.prolifeamerica.com forums. It was in a private thread- don't ask =P

[Archaeology cat]

I echo what the others here have said. I would feel very hurt & used if my husband objectified me instead of showing true, selfless, self-giving love (and me treating him in the same way).

[XIX]

Yeah. Sure. Men should always objectify their wives.


And people wonder why so many wives cry "headache" on such a constant basis. Why would anyone ever want to be used so much?


Edit: By "headache," I mean when women try to say that they are not feeling well or generally not in the mood for sex. Headache being a common example (I guess).

Edited March 16, 2008 by XIX

[GuyWithAFoil]

[quote]Well, the "objectifying" is a natural part of a man's makeup. It's there, and you can't just wish it away. It's what has kept our species alive and multiplying for so long, it's just how we are made.

So to contain it within a monogamous relationship seems to be perfectly innocent to me, and as it should be.[/quote]

It may seem natural in todays world, but that doesn't mean it is how God intended it. And no, perhaps one cannot "wish it away" but one can certainly work at it and succeed in overcoming this "natural part of man's makeup".

[picchick]

Here is a quesiton to pose to your forum: If objectifying is a natural part of man's makeup, then what is natural for a woman to do?

I think that it would be interesting answer.

[rizz_loves_jesus]

[quote]Who said anything about that? Is that what you meant by "objectifying"?

My impression was that you were speaking of the mentality that comes over a man at certain times when the primeval urges grow strong, and everything else is pushed out of his consciousness for a few minutes (or hours).

And if a man is able to contain those moments to ones that he spend with his wife, I applaud his fidelity.[/quote]

Okay, this is what one of them posted after I defended my position. I would think that me meaning of "sexual objectification" would be obvious

Edited March 16, 2008 by rizz_loves_jesus

[curtins]

the end of objectification is rape.


exactly what we need in today's crumbling families and marriages.

[XIX]

[quote name='rizz_loves_jesus' post='1478355' date='Mar 16 2008, 07:36 PM']Okay, this is what one of them posted after I defended my position. I would think that me meaning of "sexual objectification" would be obvious [/quote]
The problem is that a lot of people equate all sexual attraction with lust, and that is simply not the case.

[Socrates]

I think the primary issue here is confusion over the meaning of words.
Physical sexual attraction or pleasure does not neccesarily equal "objectification" nor "lust" in the sinful sense (though the word "lust" is often used this way in contemporary language).
Objectification is using a person purely as a means to a selfish end.

Though I'm speaking as a clueless single guy, I don't think it's objectively wrong for married sex to get "hot and dirty" so long as no intrinsically immoral acts are being committed.

[XIX]

Good post, Soc.