Need Your Help And Prayers Again!

[praxedes]

Dear Margaret Clare,
Thank you for making the links public.
I just read the article, and I just ordered the book.
Pax,
Praxedes

[AccountDeleted]

[quote name='Margaret Clare' post='1489629' date='Mar 31 2008, 12:50 PM']Hi Annie!!! I was away for Lent, but have been meaning to contact you! I'm going to have to PM/email you, but in the meantime I thought I'd post in your thread a book I think you would really enjoy, [url="http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/0809137925"][i]Nazarena, An American Anchoress[/i][/url]. She was actually in two Discalced Carmelite Monasteries, first in RI then Italy, until she found her true calling. Also, here's an article on her: [url="http://www.time.com/time/magazine/article/0,9171,827274,00.html?iid=chix-sphere"]A Nun's Story[/url] I'll definitely be keeping you in prayer. May God bless you as you continue to discern His Will![/quote]

My deepest appreciation for that link! I just ordered what I think was the last copy on Amazon - I hope they order more soon for others!

I probably shouldn't say anything about any of my plans until I have some idea of what I am doing, but I think I will just be like an open book here, and then maybe others can learn from all my mistakes - lol Right now I am discerning with The Hermits of Bethlehem and the Terre Haute Carmel. I am going for a visit to Terre Haute as soon as I can get time off from my new job (just finished one week). I spoke with them on the phone and Sister Mary Helen was wonderful. She understood so completely that perhaps the problem was just not the right fit with the community, and not a lack of vocation on my part (my fear). She has already spoken with Mother Elizabeth from WV and I guess I wasn't as obnoxious as all that over there because Mother E said nice things about me!

I still have no idea what God wants from me, so I am just taking it one day at a time. I am so graced to have time to pray and say the Office right now, and if I didn't have this strong feeling that He wants me for Himself within the Church, then I think I could be happy just staying here forever, doing what I am doing. Of course, the lady I work for is 95, and that makes this job a bit insecure - lol - but I do feel like I am being carried in His arms right now.

Anyway, please pray me on .... we are so lucky to have such a beautiful Lord. He deserves all of our love always

Annie

[EWIE]

[quote name='nunsense' date='Mar 31 2008, 05:41 PM' post='1489796']
My deepest appreciation for that link! I just ordered what I think was the last copy on Amazon - I hope they order more soon for others!

Excellant, excellant book. She is admirable if not imitable. Her calling certainly is a unique one.

This is a site for a beginning Laura of hermits. If you are interested, I will e-mail you her personal addy, privately.

[url="http://beitmery.org/about-us/"]http://beitmery.org/about-us/[/url]

[AccountDeleted]

[quote]Excellant, excellant book. She is admirable if not imitable. Her calling certainly is a unique one.

This is a site for a beginning Laura of hermits. If you are interested, I will e-mail you her personal addy, privately.[/quote]


Why do you say that? "She is admirable if not imitable." Granted, not everyone wants to observe such a penitential life but that doesn't mean that there aren't some who would be inspired to do so! I haven't read the book yet - just the TIME article, but in that brief description of her life I experienced such a feeling of the overwhelming love for Jesus that must be in her to do such a thing! To imagine that this is possible in this day and age excites my soul in a way that I can't explain.

I would have thought that others would have tried to discourage her from this, so the very fact that she has been allowed to do it - well, it is just fantastic!

If just reading the article made me so happy, I can't wait to read the book. If there were a smiley for ecstasy - I would use it now!

[Sister_Laurel]

[[Anyway, now I am back in California while I attempt to research my "hermit options". I have considered finding a small place to live with a simple part-time job to support myself, and then seek out a Bishop who will allow me to consecrate myself to him as a hermit (there is a woman in Oakland CA who is a consecrated hermit). The other thing I have considered is the Hermits of Bethlehem or their neighbors, The Hermits of Our Lady of Mt Carmel (O Carm affiliation). But right now I am in heavy duty prayer mode while I see where the Holy Spirit is leading me. ]]

I am the Sister you referred to in the Diocese of Oakland. Personally I doubt very much the diocese will welcome someone who comes to the diocese looking for someone who will profess/consecrate them. This is so not only because the diocese looks for someone living an eremitical life already before admitting to temporary profession, but also because the unique charism of the diocesan hermit demands an established relation to parish and diocese. In any case my own trip to perpetual profession in Oakland took 23 years, and I lived the life all those years.

One other thing to be clear about. One does not consecrate oneself to the Bishop. One professes one's vows to God in the hands of the diocesan Bishop and the CHURCH CONSECRATES one as a canonical/diocesan hermit. One gives oneself to God, yes, but the call and admission to the consecrated state is only done or mediated by the Church. The actual prayer of consecration prayed by the Bishop is part of the rite of perpetual profession, but not that of temporary profession. Thus, consecration has two senses, 1) the giving of oneself (which can be done in private4 vows but which does not raise one to the consecrated state) and the actual consecration of the indivdual by the Church.

Also, most Bishops are rather cautious about hermits who must earn their living outside the hermitage, and some will not admit these hermits to canon 603 profession at all. (There are any number of individuals waiting until they retire, etc to be admitted to canon 603 profession, not all in the same diocese of course). Meanwhile, I believe the Diocese of San Jose and the Archdiocese of Los Angeles also have diocesan hermits, as may the Diocese of Sacramento, and since housing costs can be lower in those areas you might consider them. Wherever you go, be sue and get yourself established in your parish (you will need your Pastor's recommendation for admission to profession), and be prepared to live the life for[u] at least [/u]three to five years before being seriously considered for even temporary vows. You will need a spiritual director as well, of course.

If you wish to contact me, I hope you will feel free. My email address is SRLAUREL@aol.com. Meanwhile, all my best in your discernment process.

SIncerely,
Sister Laurel M O'Neal
Stillsong Hermitage
Diocese of Oakland

"My power is made perfect in weakness." 2Cor 12:9

[the lords sheep]

Wow! Welcome Sister! Please pray for us all and be assured of our prayers!

[AccountDeleted]

[quote name='SRLAUREL' post='1493328' date='Apr 5 2008, 09:02 PM'][[Anyway, now I am back in California while I attempt to research my "hermit options". I have considered finding a small place to live with a simple part-time job to support myself, and then seek out a Bishop who will allow me to consecrate myself to him as a hermit (there is a woman in Oakland CA who is a consecrated hermit). The other thing I have considered is the Hermits of Bethlehem or their neighbors, The Hermits of Our Lady of Mt Carmel (O Carm affiliation). But right now I am in heavy duty prayer mode while I see where the Holy Spirit is leading me. ]]

I am the Sister you referred to in the Diocese of Oakland. Personally I doubt very much the diocese will welcome someone who comes to the diocese looking for someone who will profess/consecrate them. This is so not only because the diocese looks for someone living an eremitical life already before admitting to temporary profession, but also because the unique charism of the diocesan hermit demands an established relation to parish and diocese. In any case my own trip to perpetual profession in Oakland took 23 years, and I lived the life all those years.

One other thing to be clear about. One does not consecrate oneself to the Bishop. One professes one's vows to God in the hands of the diocesan Bishop and the CHURCH CONSECRATES one as a canonical/diocesan hermit. One gives oneself to God, yes, but the call and admission to the consecrated state is only done or mediated by the Church. The actual prayer of consecration prayed by the Bishop is part of the rite of perpetual profession, but not that of temporary profession. Thus, consecration has two senses, 1) the giving of oneself (which can be done in private4 vows but which does not raise one to the consecrated state) and the actual consecration of the indivdual by the Church.

Also, most Bishops are rather cautious about hermits who must earn their living outside the hermitage, and some will not admit these hermits to canon 603 profession at all. (There are any number of individuals waiting until they retire, etc to be admitted to canon 603 profession, not all in the same diocese of course). Meanwhile, I believe the Diocese of San Jose and the Archdiocese of Los Angeles also have diocesan hermits, as may the Diocese of Sacramento, and since housing costs can be lower in those areas you might consider them. Wherever you go, be sue and get yourself established in your parish (you will need your Pastor's recommendation for admission to profession), and be prepared to live the life for[u] at least [/u]three to five years before being seriously considered for even temporary vows. You will need a spiritual director as well, of course.

If you wish to contact me, I hope you will feel free. My email address is SRLAUREL@aol.com. Meanwhile, all my best in your discernment process.

SIncerely,
Sister Laurel M O'Neal
Stillsong Hermitage
Diocese of Oakland

"My power is made perfect in weakness." 2Cor 12:9[/quote]


Thank you for all this very valuable information. These things are not well known even by priests, so it is certainly very helpful for anyone considering the hermit life to hear about it from someone who knows.

[Guest Janua Coeli]

[i]I knew I was feeling called to be a hermit, and not a "hermit in community" as the Carmelites describe themselves. Although they are called to a life of hermit-like silence, the Wolverhampton Carmel is probably similar to many OCD Carmels in that they don't have a lot of time alone with God. They spend a lot of time in community - reciting the Divine Office together, mental prayer twice a day in the choir together, Recreation twice a day, eating meals in common, and many other tasks during the day together. They are certainly hermits compared to active orders, but their life is not one of solitude, which I seem to need more.[/i]

O Mary, we trust Thee!

“At Carmel and at the Judgment, I am alone with God”. A few thoughts on what the hermit aspect of Discalced Carmelite life means to me.
In Carmel, we live as “hermits in community”, individually and collectively loving God and giving ourselves to Him Who is our All. The eremitical side of our life is fostered by solitude and silence, aided on a practical level by the observance of Teresian enclosure and a determined withdrawal from the world, including the limiting of personal contacts with people outside. Within the monastery itself, when the sisters are not with the community or occupied with house duties, they remain in their cell, praying, studying or working. There is no common workroom, although at times they may need to work together on tasks that require collaboration. This solitude, even though it may not be perfect, is a great help for maintaining the silence and for prayer. Furthermore, sisters may only speak when required to do so by necessity or by reason of their duties, unless they have special permission to talk in response to some practical need.
According to the Rule and Constitutions handed down from St. Teresa, there is a certain number of community acts performed during the day. The community together pray the Divine Office, participate in the celebration of the Eucharist, spend their two hours of silent prayer/meditation (normally in choir), share their meals and hold recreation in common. These common acts do not, however, take anything away from the eremitical aspect of the life or prevent one from preserving an interior solitude and silence. As St. John of the Cross exhorts, one is to “live as though he were alone in the monastery”. (One explicit way of putting this into practice is striving deliberately not to notice what others are doing, or whether they are present at community activities, or what they are eating in the refectory, etc.) In fact, the cenobitical side of Carmel provides structure, stability and support for living a deep interior life, as well as offering opportunities to practise mortification, renunciation of one’s self-will, charity, patience, generosity and all the other virtues. Practising obedience in even little things is also a safeguard for knowing that one is doing the Will of God and keeping a proper balance in, for example, one’s penitential practices.
Being a hermit is not just about being physically alone (though normally that helps!). It is more an interior “living apart”, continually in God’s presence, and demands a detachment from everything that is not Him. At times one can feel an intense loneliness and isolation, even when surrounded by others, and it is only human to occasionally feel the need for affection, support and encouragement. In Carmel, not only are we not able to phone or e-mail a friend to chat to when things are difficult or we would like to express our feelings about something, we do not generally talk about personal stuff with our sisters either. And this can be very hard, especially when one is going through a particularly rough patch. (Some exception, of course, is made during formation, when one usually has more opportunities for sharing things with one’s novice mistress or some other sister. And at any stage one can always speak with the Prioress or ask permission to speak to a sister in answer to a spiritual need. Nevertheless, in practice it is frequently the case that when one really feels the need to talk, it is either not an appropriate time or the sister you have permission to talk to is otherwise engaged; and so one somehow just has to cope on one’s own, with the grace of God.)
Ordinarily, in due course, there is a gradual stripping away of all external supports and one is left truly “alone with God alone”. It is a valuable time for growing in self-knowledge but often distressing. There is no one to turn to, nowhere to go or to hide, no outlet for expressing one’s inner pain, fear and confusion, only Him. As we read in the psalms: “O where can I go from your spirit, or where can I flee from your face? If I climb the heavens, you are there. If I lie in the grave, you are there.” (Ps 138:7-8) In this dreadful solitude one is thrown back on God as one’s only security and support. And even He may seem to have abandoned or rejected you, so that you are left in darkness, emptiness and desolation, with apparently nothing to hold on to. At times like these it can often be a great consolation to have others sitting/kneeling near you in choir praying. One learns to value the hidden, prayerful support and example of other community members who are persevering in the same life, going through similar struggles and experiencing similar joys and sorrows. One also finds oneself turning even more to the saints and angels for help, especially Our Blessed Lady. She is a beautiful example of a hermit soul as she “treasured all these things and pondered them in her heart” while at the same time being fully committed to the needs of her family and her daily household duties.
In conclusion, may I just say how grateful I am for the tremendous privilege of being given a Carmelite vocation, however imperfectly I actually live it. I know that others may be drawn to an even more solitary life but, for me, Carmel is the place where I can be very deeply a hermit even while being part of a busy sisterly community. And should the path to union with God seem, at times, fraught with difficulties and desolation, deep down, below the level of feelings, there is a real joy and that true and enduring peace promised by Jesus, a peace that the world cannot give.

Edited April 23, 2008 by Janua Coeli

[AccountDeleted]

[quote name='Janua Coeli' post='1507368' date='Apr 23 2008, 07:38 AM'][i]I knew I was feeling called to be a hermit, and not a "hermit in community" as the Carmelites describe themselves. Although they are called to a life of hermit-like silence, the Wolverhampton Carmel is probably similar to many OCD Carmels in that they don't have a lot of time alone with God. They spend a lot of time in community - reciting the Divine Office together, mental prayer twice a day in the choir together, Recreation twice a day, eating meals in common, and many other tasks during the day together. They are certainly hermits compared to active orders, but their life is not one of solitude, which I seem to need more.[/i]

O Mary, we trust Thee!

“At Carmel and at the Judgment, I am alone with God”. A few thoughts on what the hermit aspect of Discalced Carmelite life means to me.
In Carmel, we live as “hermits in community”, individually and collectively loving God and giving ourselves to Him Who is our All. The eremitical side of our life is fostered by solitude and silence, aided on a practical level by the observance of Teresian enclosure and a determined withdrawal from the world, including the limiting of personal contacts with people outside. Within the monastery itself, when the sisters are not with the community or occupied with house duties, they remain in their cell, praying, studying or working. There is no common workroom, although at times they may need to work together on tasks that require collaboration. This solitude, even though it may not be perfect, is a great help for maintaining the silence and for prayer. Furthermore, sisters may only speak when required to do so by necessity or by reason of their duties, unless they have special permission to talk in response to some practical need.
According to the Rule and Constitutions handed down from St. Teresa, there is a certain number of community acts performed during the day. The community together pray the Divine Office, participate in the celebration of the Eucharist, spend their two hours of silent prayer/meditation (normally in choir), share their meals and hold recreation in common. These common acts do not, however, take anything away from the eremitical aspect of the life or prevent one from preserving an interior solitude and silence. As St. John of the Cross exhorts, one is to “live as though he were alone in the monastery”. (One explicit way of putting this into practice is striving deliberately not to notice what others are doing, or whether they are present at community activities, or what they are eating in the refectory, etc.) In fact, the cenobitical side of Carmel provides structure, stability and support for living a deep interior life, as well as offering opportunities to practise mortification, renunciation of one’s self-will, charity, patience, generosity and all the other virtues. Practising obedience in even little things is also a safeguard for knowing that one is doing the Will of God and keeping a proper balance in, for example, one’s penitential practices.
Being a hermit is not just about being physically alone (though normally that helps!). It is more an interior “living apart”, continually in God’s presence, and demands a detachment from everything that is not Him. At times one can feel an intense loneliness and isolation, even when surrounded by others, and it is only human to occasionally feel the need for affection, support and encouragement. In Carmel, not only are we not able to phone or e-mail a friend to chat to when things are difficult or we would like to express our feelings about something, we do not generally talk about personal stuff with our sisters either. And this can be very hard, especially when one is going through a particularly rough patch. (Some exception, of course, is made during formation, when one usually has more opportunities for sharing things with one’s novice mistress or some other sister. And at any stage one can always speak with the Prioress or ask permission to speak to a sister in answer to a spiritual need. Nevertheless, in practice it is frequently the case that when one really feels the need to talk, it is either not an appropriate time or the sister you have permission to talk to is otherwise engaged; and so one somehow just has to cope on one’s own, with the grace of God.)
Ordinarily, in due course, there is a gradual stripping away of all external supports and one is left truly “alone with God alone”. It is a valuable time for growing in self-knowledge but often distressing. There is no one to turn to, nowhere to go or to hide, no outlet for expressing one’s inner pain, fear and confusion, only Him. As we read in the psalms: “O where can I go from your spirit, or where can I flee from your face? If I climb the heavens, you are there. If I lie in the grave, you are there.” (Ps 138:7-8) In this dreadful solitude one is thrown back on God as one’s only security and support. And even He may seem to have abandoned or rejected you, so that you are left in darkness, emptiness and desolation, with apparently nothing to hold on to. At times like these it can often be a great consolation to have others sitting/kneeling near you in choir praying. One learns to value the hidden, prayerful support and example of other community members who are persevering in the same life, going through similar struggles and experiencing similar joys and sorrows. One also finds oneself turning even more to the saints and angels for help, especially Our Blessed Lady. She is a beautiful example of a hermit soul as she “treasured all these things and pondered them in her heart” while at the same time being fully committed to the needs of her family and her daily household duties.
In conclusion, may I just say how grateful I am for the tremendous privilege of being given a Carmelite vocation, however imperfectly I actually live it. I know that others may be drawn to an even more solitary life but, for me, Carmel is the place where I can be very deeply a hermit even while being part of a busy sisterly community. And should the path to union with God seem, at times, fraught with difficulties and desolation, deep down, below the level of feelings, there is a real joy and that true and enduring peace promised by Jesus, a peace that the world cannot give.[/quote]


What truly beautiful feelings. It is wonderful that you have found what you need in your community and that your vocation is so clear to you. These are graces for which no price can be paid. I'm probably hyper sensitive these days, but your post seemed a little critical of what I had posted previously, as if my seeking more solitude was a failing of some kind, by not being able to find this in Carmel - but in the interests of the well being of this forum, I am going to reply as if nothing personal was meant, and that you are just sharing your own joy at your life in Carmel - ok? I realize too that I might have sounded as if I were criticizing Wolverhampton because I wanted more solitude, and your post might have been a "defense" of what you see as the Carmelite way of life. I certainly did not intend to disparage WV because I love them there very much, but what I post here is intended to help others in their discernment. The fact is that I [u]did [/u]find the lack of solitude (time physically alone) to be an impediment to my vocation within that community. The Terre Haute Carmel, for example, does their 2 hours of mental prayer alone instead of in community and they have one hermit day per week. This is the type of thing that I needed but did not have - not everyone needs this or indeed even wants it! One sister at WV said she didn't want a hermit day and would gladly give it up to someone else!

What your post does prove to me that each of us has to find the right "home" in religious life, so that we also feel what you do. But what is the perfect community for one person might not be so for another. We have to remember that we are all individuals and that is why discernment is so important, and why I now think that live-ins are a very good idea. It is true that a person might do a live-in and then decide not to return. The previous Prioress where I was did not like live-ins because she said that women who did them usually didn't return to enter. But how much better for everyone if the incompatibility is discovered prior to the "marriage" so that there is no divorce! As the new Prioress wrote to me... "We are all seeking the will of God." and I say "Amen" to that. And this also points out to me that the Prioress herself is a big factor in the spiritual and emotional health of the monastery, so it is a good thing that Rome prefers to have the Prioress change after a maximum of 2 terms of office (6 years). When one is in office for too long, I think they might begin to see [u]their [/u]will as the will of God instead of the other way around! I admit that I could be all wrong about my views on this - since the Benedictines have a superior for her life (I think) but this is a whole different topic anyway!

I too love the part in the Constitutions that you quoted: "Within the monastery itself, when the sisters are not with the community or occupied with house duties, they remain in their cell, praying, studying or working." I did not find this to be true during my brief time in my particular community, since every moment of the day was scheduled and time in the cell was discouraged - but each of us experiences life differently, so it is no wonder that we also experience religious life differently, even if we are within the same community.

You also state that "And at any stage one can always speak with the Prioress or ask permission to speak to a sister in answer to a spiritual need." That sounds wonderful and I am glad it is true for you, but speaking of my own situation, I was denied permission to speak with another sister during a time of crisis and on several other occasions as well. I was denied access to some books I had requested and I was also denied access to a regular spiritual director, having been told that there "weren't enough priests" available and other various reasons. I believe that this lack of spiritual guidance was a very strong factor in my being unable to persevere in my vocation. After months and months of pleading, a spiritual director was finally located for me just two weeks before I left, but by that time I had pretty much started thinking that this was not the community for me. Having said that, I want to add that there is nothing to say that it wouldn't be the perfect community for someone else, since we are all so different. There was a lot of love in the community and many very holy sisters (and some rather "unholy" ones as well - but that can be found in any community! ).

Your post is beautiful though and it describes the almost romantic ideal of religious life - so you must be very grateful to God for allowing you to experience such a thing. Keep us all in your prayers please, especially those of us who haven't found our "homes" yet. God bless you.

Edited April 23, 2008 by nunsense

[praying4carmel]

[quote name='nunsense' post='1507471' date='Apr 23 2008, 02:34 PM']You also state that "And at any stage one can always speak with the Prioress or ask permission to speak to a sister in answer to a spiritual need." That sounds wonderful and I am glad it is true for you, but speaking of my own situation, I was denied permission to speak with another sister during a time of crisis and on several other occasions as well. I was denied access to some books I had requested and I was also denied access to a regular spiritual director, having been told that there "weren't enough priests" available and other various reasons. I believe that this lack of spiritual guidance was a very strong factor in my being unable to persevere in my vocation. After months and months of pleading, a spiritual director was finally located for me just two weeks before I left, but by that time I had pretty much started thinking that this was not the community for me.[/quote]

To be deprived of Books and SD's..How Horrible! It makes me sad.

[AccountDeleted]

[quote name='praying4carmel' post='1507500' date='Apr 23 2008, 11:11 AM']To be deprived of Books and SD's..How Horrible! It makes me sad.[/quote]

praying4carmel - I was told that the "life itself" was the best teacher and I don't dispute this. If I had been stronger or more surrendered to God's will, then I am sure that I would have found all of the solace and direction that I needed within myself. I was also reminded several times that St Therese used Jesus as her SD - but without a lot of "alone time" there, I found it hard to rely only on His guidance. I do admit that the failing was within me, but that is perhaps why this community was not right for me. For someone else, it might have been the making of a saint. I don't want to judge a community for my failings - but would like to stress that proper discernment is most important.

[puellapaschalis]

Nunsense, I have nothing to add, except a thank you for being so courageously open. Not only here on Phatmass but also in your life - you've been halfway round the world and back - twice - trying to figure out what God wants of you and where He's going to lead you next. It's quite inspiring to see

[praying4carmel]

[quote name='nunsense' post='1507514' date='Apr 23 2008, 03:25 PM']praying4carmel - I was told that the "life itself" was the best teacher and I don't dispute this. If I had been stronger or more surrendered to God's will, then I am sure that I would have found all of the solace and direction that I needed within myself. I was also reminded several times that St Therese used Jesus as her SD - but without a lot of "alone time" there, I found it hard to rely only on His guidance. I do admit that the failing was within me, but that is perhaps why this community was not right for me. For someone else, it might have been the making of a saint. I don't want to judge a community for my failings - but would like to stress that proper discernment is most important.[/quote]

I understand what you are saying, and I do agree with what you have said. I just wish there could have more of a balance for you..I did not make that clear..sorry.

[AccountDeleted]

[quote name='praying4carmel' post='1507538' date='Apr 23 2008, 12:15 PM']I understand what you are saying, and I do agree with what you have said. I just wish there could have more of a balance for you..I did not make that clear..sorry.[/quote]

No, no, no - you have been kindness itself. I just wanted to make sure that I didn't give the impression that there was a failing in the community. Despite my apparent criticisms, I do know that what didn't work for me, might be the very things that make this community a "home" for someone else. So I try to be so careful whenever I say something that might sound like a value judgment. I do love them very much and wouldn't want to do any harm to them by turning away vocations. I pray for vocations for them all the time!

I just want to make sure also that others discern carefully through visits and live-ins, so they don't end up feeling as I have done, like a failure. I am slowly getting over this feeling, with Our Lord's help, but it has been particularly hard, especially since Father General basically told me in advance that I wouldn't succeed and he has been proven right. And since my latest attempts at getting a SD have resulted in another important (in terms of authority) priest [u]also [/u]telling me that I shouldn't even try for religious life - well, I have had to fight a lot of temptation to despair over any kind of a vocation. But, and here is the important thing - all of this has shown me that nothing matters except my relationship with Our Lord, and in trying to do His will, whatever that may end up being. So, in my weakness, He is strong - what else could I ask for?

Thank you for your kindness. That is one of the reasons I love phatmass so much - everyone has always been so kind to me here.

Edited April 23, 2008 by nunsense

[AccountDeleted]

[quote name='puellapaschalis' post='1507534' date='Apr 23 2008, 12:10 PM']Nunsense, I have nothing to add, except a thank you for being so courageously open. Not only here on Phatmass but also in your life - you've been halfway round the world and back - twice - trying to figure out what God wants of you and where He's going to lead you next. It's quite inspiring to see [/quote]

You are so sweet, but of course you must realize that my being "open" has nothing to do with courage at all. I am just "compulsively self-disclosing", which means, of course, that I spend entirely way too much time focusing on my self!

The only good thing about my self-centeredness however, is that perhaps in all my ramblings, there might occasionally be some information that might be helpful to someone else who is discerning religious life. It's kind of like manure being used to feed growing plants !

And God has been so good to me and so kind - I really would love to please Him. Finding out what He wants however, is another thing entirely. One of the topics that Rosalind Moss is going to cover in her talk on Saturday is "God's Will for You: How to Know It". Boy, oh boy - if I can learn anything at all from just that one topic, the trip to Georgia will have been worth it! Pray me on!

And thank you so much for being so sweet.

Edited April 23, 2008 by nunsense