Gravity

[jeffpugh]

[size=5]Evangelical Scientists Refute Gravity With New 'Intelligent Falling' Theory

[/size]KANSAS CITY, KS—As the debate over the teaching of evolution in public schools continues, a new controversy over the science curriculum arose Monday in this embattled Midwestern state. Scientists from the Evangelical Center For Faith-Based Reasoning are now asserting that the long-held "theory of gravity" is flawed, and they have responded to it with a new theory of Intelligent Falling.

[url="http://java%20script:void%280%29;"] [img]http://www.theonion.com/content/files/images/Evangelical-Scientists-C.article.jpg[/img][/url]
Rev. Gabriel Burdett explains Intelligent Falling.

"Things fall not because they are acted upon by some gravitational force, but because a higher intelligence, 'God' if you will, is pushing them down," said Gabriel Burdett, who holds degrees in education, applied Scripture, and physics from Oral Roberts University.

Burdett added: "Gravity—which is taught to our children as a law—is founded on great gaps in understanding. The laws predict the mutual force between all bodies of mass, but they cannot explain that force. Isaac Newton himself said, 'I suspect that my theories may all depend upon a force for which philosophers have searched all of nature in vain.' Of course, he is alluding to a higher power."

Founded in 1987, the ECFR is the world's leading institution of evangelical physics, a branch of physics based on literal interpretation of the Bible.

According to the ECFR paper published simultaneously this week in the [i]International Journal Of Science[/i] and the adolescent magazine [i]God's Word For Teens![/i], there are many phenomena that cannot be explained by secular gravity alone, including such mysteries as how angels fly, how Jesus ascended into Heaven, and how Satan fell when cast out of Paradise.

The ECFR, in conjunction with the Christian Coalition and other Christian conservative action groups, is calling for public-school curriculums to give equal time to the Intelligent Falling theory. They insist they are not asking that the theory of gravity be banned from schools, but only that students be offered both sides of the issue "so they can make an informed decision."

"We just want the best possible education for Kansas' kids," Burdett said.

Proponents of Intelligent Falling assert that the different theories used by secular physicists to explain gravity are not internally consistent. Even critics of Intelligent Falling admit that Einstein's ideas about gravity are mathematically irreconcilable with quantum mechanics. This fact, Intelligent Falling proponents say, proves that gravity is a theory in crisis.

"Let's take a look at the evidence," said ECFR senior fellow Gregory Lunsden."In Matthew 15:14, Jesus says, 'And if the blind lead the blind, both shall fall into the ditch.' He says nothing about some gravity making them fall—just that they will fall. Then, in Job 5:7, we read, 'But mankind is born to trouble, as surely as sparks fly upwards.' If gravity is pulling everything down, why do the sparks fly upwards with great surety? This clearly indicates that a conscious intelligence governs all falling."

Critics of Intelligent Falling point out that gravity is a provable law based on empirical observations of natural phenomena. Evangelical physicists, however, insist that there is no conflict between Newton's mathematics and Holy Scripture.

"Closed-minded gravitists cannot find a way to make Einstein's general relativity match up with the subatomic quantum world," said Dr. Ellen Carson, a leading Intelligent Falling expert known for her work with the Kansan Youth Ministry. "They've been trying to do it for the better part of a century now, and despite all their empirical observation and carefully compiled data, they still don't know how."

"Traditional scientists admit that they cannot explain how gravitation is supposed to work," Carson said. "What the gravity-agenda scientists need to realize is that 'gravity waves' and 'gravitons' are just secular words for 'God can do whatever He wants.'"

Some evangelical physicists propose that Intelligent Falling provides an elegant solution to the central problem of modern physics.

"Anti-falling physicists have been theorizing for decades about the 'electromagnetic force,' the 'weak nuclear force,' the 'strong nuclear force,' and so-called 'force of gravity,'" Burdett said. "And they tilt their findings toward trying to unite them into one force. But readers of the Bible have already known for millennia what this one, unified force is: His name is Jesus."



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[url="http://www.theonion.com/content/node/39512"]Source[/url]

Edited March 11, 2008 by Sacred Music Man

[let_go_let_God]

Thanks for this it surely brightened my day and that of my friend.

God bless-
LGLG

[jeffpugh]

Much obliged. I got this from an agnostic friend. He and I joke around about this sorta stuff. All in good fun.

[picchick]

I COULD HAVE TOLD YOU THAT!!!!! That is why I fall down all the time. God pushes me to wake me up!

[CatherineM]

So when I slip and fall on the ice, it is just me walking on water while frozen.

[Brigid]

wow...

just... wow.

[Justin86]

[quote name='CatherineM' post='1475439' date='Mar 11 2008, 01:11 PM']So when I slip and fall on the ice, it is just me walking on water while frozen.[/quote]
You too can be perfect like Jesus!

[CatherineM]

Yeah, but I'm sure Jesus was much more graceful.

[kafka]

nice. I love it.

[Old_Joe]

falling isn't intelligent that's just stupid. Now if someone were to fall and miss the ground that'd incredible.

[T-Bone _]

[quote name='Old_Joe' post='1475690' date='Mar 11 2008, 10:06 AM']falling isn't intelligent that's just stupid. Now if someone were to fall and miss the ground that'd incredible.[/quote]

The secret to flying is to throw yourself at the ground and miss.

[prose]

Wow. wow. wow.

That would explain all the weight on my shoulders.

[img]http://www.idrewthis.org/comics/idt20050516gravity.gif[/img]

Edited March 11, 2008 by prose

[Deb]

[quote name='prose' post='1475708' date='Mar 11 2008, 12:55 PM']Wow. wow. wow.

That would explain all the weight on my shoulders.

[img]http://www.idrewthis.org/comics/idt20050516gravity.gif[/img][/quote]


Mucho cute.

[Old_Joe]

[quote name='T-Bone _' post='1475700' date='Mar 11 2008, 12:31 PM']The secret to flying is to throw yourself at the ground and miss.[/quote]

Douglas Adams?

[KnightofChrist]

Well all jokes and jests aside, at least their partly right God is the force behind gravity in the sense, He created it and set up the laws thereof, which He can bend and break if He so choses, and continues to be in control. I do find it amazing science can explain [b]how[/b] something like gravity works, but not really when it comes down to it [b]why[/b]. Sure if an object rotates or orbits another object gravity is created, and objects on the rotating object will be "push" or held down on that object, but why? Why, is this the effect in the first place? Seems to sound like a law, which must be followed, in other words order, we know as humans that order does not exist in society unless there is law and Law enforcement. The same is true with the Universe.

And Darwinian Evolution is surely counter to Catholic teaching. Mainly because it is official teaching that Adam and Eve are our first parents, created by God directly and every human alive is directly descended from them. Not as Darwinian Evolution teaches that everything alive came from a puddle of goo. Anyway if Adam and Eve descended from lower species such as apes, then some form of monkey the apes and so on would be our first parents and not Adam and Eve, making the teaching of the Catholic Church false. Being of a lower species or life does not take away parenthood, after all Mary merely human is still the Mother of God.

Edited March 11, 2008 by KnightofChrist