29908 Posted February 29, 2008 Share Posted February 29, 2008 When you tell people that you are considering becoming some type of religious, do they ever tell you it will be such a waste??? "You are so pretty, becoming a nun would be such a waste" "That's a waste of good genes" "Why would you want to do that with your life and waste it?" What do y'all tell people? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alycin Posted February 29, 2008 Share Posted February 29, 2008 The first two I wouldn't even validate with a response. Looks have NOTHING to do with people becoming Religious. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
29908 Posted February 29, 2008 Author Share Posted February 29, 2008 Yeah... It's just near impossible to tell people youre even thinking about it... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
velveteenbunny Posted February 29, 2008 Share Posted February 29, 2008 I know the reaction you mean, and I'm right there with you wondering how best to deal with it. I'm pretty quiet with almost everyone about my discernment because I'm really in early stages (still!) but I have had these sorts of reactions from a few of the people I've told. Actually though, it's kind of nice to make people start to wonder why a smart, pretty, talented girl would have any desire to be a nun. I'm not sure it even really matters what you say: you've already challenged their (probably unconscious) notion that the religious life is only just for women who, really, had no other option! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Starets Posted February 29, 2008 Share Posted February 29, 2008 I am ugly and don't wear genes so the first two questions do not apply to me. I would disagree with it being a waste of a life. There are a couple things I keep in mind. First of all, that if someone wants to join in order to flee the world they will soon have to flee the monastery. It is not a flight from the world. It is a detatchment from the world in order to more fully embrace it on a spiritual level. Not only that, the hardest thing about monastic life is the fact that you are living and working with the same people 24x7. Just a couple points I thought I'd mention. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cathoholic_anonymous Posted February 29, 2008 Share Posted February 29, 2008 I usually say, "I don't consider it a waste to pop my comfortable bubble and gain the whole universe by doing so." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carolyn Posted February 29, 2008 Share Posted February 29, 2008 [quote name='Staretz' post='1471136' date='Feb 29 2008, 08:21 AM']I am ugly and don't wear genes so the first two questions do not apply to me.[/quote] I know what you mean, though, 29908. I have gotten variations of all of these. I think people expect me to say, "Oh, I'm so silly. You're right." I have yet to come up with a response that doesn't lead to some other negative comment. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lil Red Posted February 29, 2008 Share Posted February 29, 2008 ask them what they're going to do with their life. and then respond, "oh, what a waste!" maybe they'll get the hint. can you tell i'm all for the direct approach? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CatherineM Posted February 29, 2008 Share Posted February 29, 2008 When one of my cousins entered a convent, my mom couldn't stop talking about what a waste it was. I think it really put up a wall for her when I approached her about wanting to enter as well. To say she freaked is an understatement. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gemma Posted February 29, 2008 Share Posted February 29, 2008 [quote name='29908' post='1471095' date='Feb 29 2008, 02:54 AM']When you tell people that you are considering becoming some type of religious, do they ever tell you it will be such a waste??? "You are so pretty, becoming a nun would be such a waste" "That's a waste of good genes" "Why would you want to do that with your life and waste it?" What do y'all tell people?[/quote] Yawn, and tell them thanks for helping me get to sleep. Blessings, Gemma Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
johnnydigit Posted February 29, 2008 Share Posted February 29, 2008 [quote name='29908' post='1471095' date='Feb 28 2008, 11:54 PM']When you tell people that you are considering becoming some type of religious, do they ever tell you it will be such a waste??? "You are so pretty, becoming a nun would be such a waste" "That's a waste of good genes" "Why would you want to do that with your life and waste it?" What do y'all tell people?[/quote] hm off the top of my head let's see.. i'd pause for a moment.. "You are so pretty, ..would be such a waste" -thanks! i prefer "handsome" though. *crickets* "That's a waste of good genes" -think so? (how about laboring for 50 years, complaining about breaking your back, not being satisfied with anything, then dying? any rebuttal can be countered, family - community, riches - no need of riches, fun - prayer, etc. "Why would you want to do that with your life and waste it?" -i've found a happiness greater than anything else that the world could ever offer. think of the greatest time you've ever had in your entire life. how long did it last? seconds? minutes? God gives you happiness that lasts hours, days, months, and even years. it is like perpetual joy and peace. what do i mean? well have you ever read the Bible? ever feel like something was "missing" in life? ever ponder your purpose? the origin of life? ======= i guess basically most people just deserve a quiet smile, a simple answer, or nothing at all. most simply don't understand and don't want to understand. some however, if you sense a genuine curiosity, you can talk about the kingdom of God, the grace of Jesus Christ, our sinful nature, our longing for something greater, and the beauty of prayer. basically lay the smack down on 'em! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kafka Posted February 29, 2008 Share Posted February 29, 2008 Also consider these verses: Sirach {8:20} You should not hold counsel with the foolish. For they are not able to love anything except what pleases them. {8:22} You should not reveal your heart to every man, lest perhaps he may offer a false kindness to you, and then speak reproachfully about you. ~be wary on who you share your thoughts and heart with Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
puellapaschalis Posted February 29, 2008 Share Posted February 29, 2008 Yup, I've got the "Such a waste..." comments before. Having as I do levels of self-esteem which are so low they could put the Marianas Trench to shame, I usually came out with something like, "Nah, you're mistaken, I'm ugly! Only God sees the beauty in me!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
irishdancer Posted February 29, 2008 Share Posted February 29, 2008 the only person I've told is my priest and he smiled and said he wasn't surprised. He also suggested not to talk about it even with my family until I have a date and a place. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
the lords sheep Posted February 29, 2008 Share Posted February 29, 2008 I was talking to my spiritual director about this, as this is the position my mother holds.... She always says (of my 22 year old cousin who's a religious) "But she's so pretty and so intelligent... She could get married!!" He just laughed and said, "Yes, because God only calls the horribly ugly and terribly stupid to the religious life! Oh, and they must be homosexual as well, because why else would they want to be a celibate!" I must say, his tongue-in-cheek took me by surprise, because he tends to be on the serious side. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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