Depression/anxiety/possible Ocd

[johnnydigit]

did you talk to a doctor yet? we pray you have the strength to make an appointment as soon as you can. if money is a problem, there are state funded programs available..

[farglefeezlebut]

I am getting help from a doctor.

Thanks for your advice and concern.

[Paddington]

BTW, I didn't mean to sound so abrupt. I wish I could help you.

Peace,
Paddington

[farglefeezlebut]

You didn't sound abrupt.

Tahnks for your concern.

[Paddington]

BTW, I'm formerly badly mentally ill. The humiliation was very painful. The balance between private and public self tends to become too much on the side of public. I hope you excel at cultivating your private life and staying true to yourself. That was a big struggle for me during and after the most serious symptoms.

[farglefeezlebut]

Thanks for the advice.

[dustthouart]

Hi fargle,
I have OCD myself. Some of what you are talking about with having unbidden, blasphemous or sinful thoughts come to you can be a form of OCD.

For your friends, and to anyone who reads this, Catholicism does NOT cause OCD. OCD is a brain disorder. It can actually be measured on brain scans. It is still not fully understood, but the research suggests that the [i]caudete nucleus[/i] and the [i]putamen[/i] in a person with OCD do not function properly. In a word, they get stuck. The person with OCD cannot "shift gears" and get the thought or compulsion out of their head. Their brain keeps screaming "Wash your hands, wash your hands, wash your hands". It's a terrible disorder.

What's important to understand is that the [i]content[/i] of someone's obsessions or compulsions doesn't have anything to do with the disorder itself. THIS IS EXTREMELY IMPORTANT TO UNDERSTAND. One OCD person washes their hands because their compulsion insists their hands are dirty. Another person is obsessed with the idea that they have left their door unlocked and check the lock 50 or 60 times in a row. Myself, personally, I get obsessed with the idea that my fingernails are not even. Many times these compulsions sound ridiculous and the OCD sufferer is often extremely embarrassed about it.

But the content of these obsessions and compulsions is actually quite irrelevant! The bottom line is that the brain isn't working right. So it is IGNORANT and OFFENSIVE to suggest that someone who has religious-content obsessions needs to leave the Church. Probably "fidei defensor" is only speaking out of ignorance, because this disorder is not well understood at all by most people.

Actually, my religion has saved my sanity in many cases. For the secular person, you ARE your brain. What else would you be? But I know that I have a soul and that I am more than the circuits in my skull. Just because there are a few things out of whack, doesn't mean that I am somehow ruined at all.

If you are still on a waiting list, fargle, I suggest the self-help book [i]Brain Lock[/i] by Jeffrey M. Schwartz who is a doctor at UCLA researching OCD. This book is awesome. It's clear, simple, and *gasp* NOT hostile to religion. In fact Dr. Schwartz criticizes the tendency of psychiatrists to treat religion as an obstacle to treatment.

If you have any more questions, I'd love to answer them.

Edited March 20, 2008 by dustthouart

[farglefeezlebut]

dustthouart, thank you SO much.

[Tinkerlina]

Hi there,
I've struggled with very similar issues, so do not think that you are not alone in suffering anxiety and other mental/emotional problems. I have had and sometimes still have problems feeling like I view God as harsh/strict even though I know that He is loving and caring. I've found that with this and all forms of scrupulosity, the best thing to do is try to let the thoughts go. Don't fight them and try not to dwell on them. The more you worry about how you view God, the harder it will be for you. Just accept that we all have thoughts/feelings sometimes that we can't help and feeling that God is strict or harsh sometimes is not something you consciously chose to think. OCD and other such problems cause repetitive thoughts that are not a reflection of our true personalities or state of mind-they are often completely random and very often play to our fears-so it may be that you fear viewing God in the "wrong way" more than you actually view Him as such. Keep reading the Bible-I find all of the Pslams are good msyelf-praying, meditating, all of these things are of course the right things. I commend you for continuing to read your Bible and try your best to have faith through your difficult times. I've also found that when I start having "episodes" of thinking too much, anxiety, etc one of the most helpful things is to completely distract myself-aside from doing the above mentioned spiritual things, you could simply try doing something you enjoy and that takes a lot of focus, like a video game or sport. Something that requires concentration leaves less room in your brain for filling up with pointless, worrisome thoughts. And also, please don't hesitate to go talk to your doctor if you feel like this is interfering with your quality of life. It's absolutely nothing to be ashamed of, there are medicines (not that you necessarily need them, but something out there that some people do need) and other treatments that can help you. Best luck to you and I'll remember you in my prayers!

Edited March 24, 2008 by Tinkerlina