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Dear Non-pregnant Person


Lil Red

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Dear Non-Pregnant Person,

I hope you find these guidelines helpful in your interactions with pregnant women as failing to follow them may result in serious physical harm.

[b]If you are thinking, surely she doesn't mean me- then you should probably read this twice. [/b]

1) The appropriate response to a couple telling you they are having a baby is 'Congratulations!' with enthusiasm. Any other response makes you an *&^.

2) Through the wonders of science, we now know that babies are made ONLY by the mother and father- not grandparents. Unless the baby is in your uterus or you are the man that helped put it there, you may not ever use the phrase 'my baby'.

3) On the same note, unless you made the baby as defined in #2, the pregnancy, birth and raising of the child are not about you. You do not have input. No one wants to hear your opinion unless they ask for it.

4) The body of a pregnant women should be treated the same as any other body. You would not randomly touch someone's stomach if they were not pregnant, nor would you inquire into the condition of their uterus, cervix or how they plan to use their breasts. [b]Pregnancy does not remove all traces of privacy from a woman. [/b]

5) Likewise, no woman wants to hear comments on her weight- ever. A pregnant woman does not find it flattering that you think she is about is pop, must be having twins, looks swollen or has gained weight in her face. Telling her she looks too small only makes her worry that she is somehow starving her baby. Making such comments invite her to critique your physical appearance and you may not act offended. [b]The only acceptable comment on appearance is 'You look fabulous!'. [/b]

6) By the time we are 20-30 years old, most of us have picked up on the fact that the summer is hot. We are hot every summer when we are not pregnant. We don't need you to point out that we will be miserably hot before the baby comes.

7) There is a reason that tickets to L&D are not yet sold on Ticket master. Childbirth is actually not a public event. It may sound crazy, but some women really do not relish the idea of their mother, MIL or a host of other family members seeing their bare butt and genitals. Also, some people simply feel like the birth of their child is a private and emotional moment to be shared only by the parents.

8) Like everything else is life, unless you receive an invitation, you are NOT invited. This includes doctor appointments, ultrasounds, labor, delivery, the hospital and the parents’ home. You do not decide if you will be there for the birth or if you will move in with the new parents to 'help out'. If your assistance is desired, rest assured that you will be asked for it.

9) If you are asked to help after the birth, this means you should clean up the house, help with cooking meals, and generally stay out of the way. Holding the baby more than the parents, interfering with breastfeeding and sleeping schedules and making a woman who is still leaking fluid from multiple locations lift a finger in housework is not helping.

10) The only people entitled to time with the baby are the parents. Whether they choose to have you at the hospital for the birth or ask for you to wait three weeks to visit, appreciate that you are being given the privilege of seeing their child. Complaining or showing disappointment only encourages the parents to include you less.

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Archaeology cat

I should have carried this around with me! Let's see, I had a co-worker mess up the first one, telling me a baby just means you can't do what you want. My mother has made the mistake of calling Kieran "my baby" or "our baby", and yeah, I don't like to be touched by people not related to me, and never on the belly regardless of being pregnant or not. Oh yes, and for some reason people thought I was insane when I said i didn't want my mother in the delivery room. Not that it ended up mattering, since Kieran came early and my parents weren't here yet. :)

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cmotherofpirl

[quote name='hot stuff' post='1468789' date='Feb 25 2008, 07:29 PM']I often touch women's tummies.

Are you saying that is wrong?[/quote]

Unless you are an MD you must like getting charged with assault. Or punched. Kneed...

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[quote name='hot stuff' post='1468789' date='Feb 25 2008, 06:29 PM']I often touch women's tummies.

Are you saying that is wrong?[/quote]


Boy, I had a really good response but.....just can't do it.

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Very nice advice. I would think that a lot of those would be just common sense for people but, I guess common sense isn't that common anymore.

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IcePrincessKRS

[quote name='hot stuff' post='1468789' date='Feb 25 2008, 07:29 PM']I often touch women's tummies.

Are you saying that is wrong?[/quote]

Unless you're invited its always wise to err on the side of NOT touching a pregnant woman's stomach.

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[quote name='IcePrincessKRS' post='1468996' date='Feb 25 2008, 10:37 PM']Unless you're invited its always wise to err on the side of NOT touching a pregnant woman's stomach.[/quote]

who said anything about them being pregnant?

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[quote name='hot stuff' post='1469006' date='Feb 25 2008, 11:51 PM']who said anything about them being pregnant?[/quote]
Again I say, you make me uneasy :mellow:

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[quote name='IcePrincessKRS' post='1469016' date='Feb 25 2008, 11:09 PM']lol I shoulda seen that one coming...[/quote]

I gently poke them and say "boop"


Then I may ask them out to dinner

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