At What Point?

[gloriagurl]

[quote name='Thomist-in-Training' post='1466699' date='Feb 21 2008, 01:18 PM']It might help to make a sort of retreat FROM thinking about it. I don't mean dating--I just mean not thinking "Whereisit? Whereisit?" A few summers ago we went on vacation to Colorado and walked around mountains and waterfalls. I know it's not always possible to do that sort of thing, but it was helpful to promise myself "For these two weeks, I won't worry about it." Not Giving up, just not worrying.

As for when to quit--my current formulation is "Until I enter a community, or someone I trust to make the judgment tells me that I do not have a religious vocation." (I'm hoping that will be less than two years, when I will graduate, but I suppose I should prepare myself that it could be longer.)

Women should also remember that the Rite of Consecration of Virgins has been revived. I don't think it's for everyone--I'm pretty sure I'd need a community--but a young woman (25 or so) in our parish has done that and looks very happy. Still has a sense of humor too. I guess it's not required, but she wears a white veil and a white dress and turtleneck, and sandals. Sometimes a sash with the liturgical color of the day. And a poncho type sweater for the weather. I think that's neat, I like it better than the idea of looking like someone who's not married.[/quote]

There is also Canon 603 - diocesan hermit. I know people who are very happy in this state. One takes public vows in the hands of the Bishop and "wears the habit of their institute". One can write a Rule of Life (which is eventually approved by the Bishop) and/or adopt an existing rule. St. Francis wrote a rule for Friars living in hermitage, there is the also the medieval Ancrene Riwle, and the Rules of the Benedictines, (especially the Calmaldolese) and Carthusians which are quite adaptable for an individual.

Pax!

[Guadalupe23]

[quote name='gabrielp' post='1463827' date='Feb 15 2008, 11:06 PM']I think discernment is for life...keep on praying and trusting in God[/quote]

Amen to this! Our discernment is constant. I never would have dreamed that I would be where I am now. I believe that God gives us different opportunities to keep letting go of what we think we should do and to surrender to what He [i]wants [/i]us to do. I like the suggestions of "relaxing," "taking a retreat", or putting our constant seeking on the shelf for a while and just letting God speak. I believe He is leading you toward your vocation...or perhaps, you have already found it? Peace! My prayers are with you!

Jackie

[Totus Tuus]

[quote name='Sr. Mary Catharine' post='1462454' date='Feb 14 2008, 03:42 PM']It's not a matter of "giving up". However, I think she/he needs to step back and spend a period of time for prayer. My advice in vocation discernment is first of all to ask the Lord to purify your desires so that you know what YOU really want. Second, to live in the mystery of Mary's FIAT and to ask the Holy Spirit for the gift of Counsel and Wisdom. In God's time the person will know where she/he is being called.

I have known persons who passionately desired religious life and had a strong pull but with help and prayer found that what their true vocation was was marriage. I have known others who couldn't imagine cloistered life and that is where she was called and I have known a nun who lived 32 years as a cloistered nun but her real vocation was in the active life. She has been marvelously happy for about 12 years.

PRAY and honestly look at one's desires. Perhaps the community she/he is being called to is right under her/his nose, so to speak but can't see it because not clear on what she/he is truly desiring.

SMC[/quote]

Though my experience is much more limited than SMC's, I would strongly reinforce this advice. In my own personal experience every word of this explanation has proved to be the truth.

[stbensgirl]

Two and a half years ago, in most extraordinary circumstances (long story), I returned to the Church, praise God! Immediately attracted once again to religious life, but being of a certain age (47 then) and being newly returned, there were issues, false starts, errors, and confusion. I began discerning, but concern for my age, the debt I had, and my immaturity in the faith got in the way. Eventually I determined (on my own) that the door was closed, that I had presumed out of pride, confessed it, and slammed the door shut tight.

The Holy Spirit, not I, has opened that door again, and I can tell you that the pain of longing is intense. Most days, I feel like there's an arrow stuck in my heart. Can I not have Him? If we're all called to holiness, and if I'm called to lay life, why am I not satisfied? Am I romanticizing some notion of the cloister? Am I trying to "be special"? Or am I drawn through the inexplicable work of the Holy Spirit?

Very soon, I shall begin working with communities I am attracted to and, with the help of an experienced guide, discern my religious vocation . I may be blessed with peace, I may not, but even if this painful longing never goes away, I will not run from it, but embrace it. Nothing this side of Heaven will completely satisfy, anyway. I have goals and plans and ideas for my lay life, and I will by the grace of God, pursue them to His greater glory. But I never expect to stop discerning, and I never expect the pain of longing for Him to go away, and I never expect the duty to seek His perfect will to expire. Rather than flee from that longing, I shall stay right next to it, and offer all the pain and dissatisfaction with this world to Him who gave Himself so freely for me.

Forgive the long post. It was much longer. It’s a big subject for me, as I know it is for others. Thanks so much for this wonderful forum!

Pax Dei,
stbensgirl



[quote name='philothea0806' post='1462364' date='Feb 14 2008, 01:44 PM']I guess I am trying to figure out at what point does a person give up on the possiblity of having a religous vocation?
There is nothing physically, emotionally or pyschological wrong with a person, they just can not find the right community.

The person still feels a strong pull/call to religious life but the Lord is not revealing where.

Isn't there a point where the door must be closed? One can not stay in perpetual discernment forever?

Comments anyone?[/quote]