I Have A 'stupid' Question

[LouisvilleFan]

[quote name='Chaya' post='1453964' date='Feb 1 2008, 04:04 AM']thing is, he is calvinist, es, but hasn't been practising anything since he finished his studies ~ 10 years ago. his family was not overly practising, but regular church-goers. later he got involved and active in an evangelical youth group, but all ceased when he started to work. thing is, he is not practising, not going to church (well, once every two months or so) or reading his bible or anything. for some time, he has been mocking anyting sacred or religious/spiritual. when i tried talking to him he got rather angry - it is not becaus he is not going to church that he doesn't believe in god. so he leaves the "religion" stuff and the kids religious education to me, but dictating me where and how at the same time.
and yet, once he went to mass with me, he said he liked it, liked that the catholic church isn't afraid "of her opinions" and values family. and at the same time, complete refusal. it is good as long as it doesn't effect him personally.[/quote]

I know it must be difficult to want to be Catholic when you're husband isn't allowing it, but it's still good to respect the authority of husbands and fathers. No man is perfect at that responsibility... only Christ is the perfect Bridegroom and Father... but your kids do need to see the example you're setting to respect your husband's wishes to raise them in the Mennonite church. Many saints have been converted through such examples of humility. Sometimes God intercedes in shattering a hardened heart immediately, but usually wearing down a heart of stone requires many years of patience and prayer. But faith can surely spring forth by remaining steadfast in hope and love.

That something I always need to be reminded of, so I'm writing it to myself as much as to you

Edited February 3, 2008 by LouisvilleFan

[Tinkerlina]

That is a truly lovely space for some prayer and meditation. Not to pry, but have you and your husband ever talked with a third party about your religious differences? It doesn't seem right that he doesn't respect your right to practice your faith by attending a Church? Perhaps he has some fears or bad past experiences with religion or something of the sort but there has to be a way for him to overcome this? In any case, you have every right in the world to attend Church as often as you'd like. In the meantime, I will pray for you as I know many others here will. I do definitely think that you've created a great space at home for prayer

[cmotherofpirl]

[quote name='LouisvilleFan' post='1454735' date='Feb 2 2008, 11:56 PM']I know it must be difficult to want to be Catholic when you're husband isn't allowing it, but it's still good to respect the authority of husbands and fathers. No man is perfect at that responsibility... only Christ is the perfect Bridegroom and Father... but your kids do need to see the example you're setting to respect your husband's wishes to raise them in the Mennonite church. Many saints have been converted through such examples of humility. Sometimes God intercedes in shattering a hardened heart immediately, but usually wearing down a heart of stone requires many years of patience and prayer. But faith can surely spring forth by remaining steadfast in hope and love.

That something I always need to be reminded of, so I'm writing it to myself as much as to you [/quote]
The husbands authority DOES NOT EXTEND to the wife's choice of religion.

[-I---Love]

[quote name='LouisvilleFan' post='1454735' date='Feb 2 2008, 11:56 PM']I know it must be difficult to want to be Catholic when you're husband isn't allowing it, but it's still good to respect the authority of husbands and fathers. No man is perfect at that responsibility... only Christ is the perfect Bridegroom and Father... but your kids do need to see the example you're setting to respect your husband's wishes to raise them in the Mennonite church. Many saints have been converted through such examples of humility. Sometimes God intercedes in shattering a hardened heart immediately, but usually wearing down a heart of stone requires many years of patience and prayer. But faith can surely spring forth by remaining steadfast in hope and love.

That something I always need to be reminded of, so I'm writing it to myself as much as to you [/quote]


In this case it's definitely precisely the OPPOSITE. It's frankly a form of abusive control.

The prayer corner, etc. looks excellent!

Edited February 4, 2008 by -I---Love

[LouisvilleFan]

[quote name='-I---Love' post='1455160' date='Feb 4 2008, 12:24 AM']In this case it's definitely precisely the OPPOSITE. It's frankly a form of abusive control.

The prayer corner, etc. looks excellent![/quote]

That doesn't seem to be her husband's intention. He seems to have the best interests of his family at heart, even though he's not owning up to his responsibility to lead by example. It's a touchy situation, but most of the time I think it's better to give such a person room to change their ways. Obviously, Chaya is already a Catholic in her heart and nobody can change that. Eventually the best thing would be to enter the Church sacramentally, but there's no reason for her to put unnecessary strain on her marriage in seeking after that goal.

But those are just my thoughts... guess I'm a nice guy.

[luciana]

Beautiful prayer corner I'll pray for you, your husband, and your family tonight in my prayers, Chaya. It's good that he wears that blessed medal, and has softened in some aspects. Sometimes when a person is starting to soften like he was, they suddenly realize, and put a block. Keep praying and show a lot of love. ((hugs))

[Chaya]

[quote name='LouisvilleFan' post='1454735' date='Feb 3 2008, 05:56 AM']I know it must be difficult to want to be Catholic when you're husband isn't allowing it, but it's still good to respect the authority of husbands and fathers.[/quote]

this is exactly what i want. i don't want to undermine his authority, though he thinks that all man is the head of the family stuff is carp.

[Chaya]

[quote name='Tinkerlina' post='1454824' date='Feb 3 2008, 08:17 AM']Not to pry, but have you and your husband ever talked with a third party about your religious differences?[/quote]

he's not open to discussing it with others. for him, it's private and it's [i]my[/i] problem, not his. but i have started talking about it with a dear friend who is a pastoral assistant. he said he'll happily help and accompany me. he's a good friend of my husband, too, so maybe one day we'll be able to discuss it all together. he knows my hubby well and understands that i didn't talk to him about this to make look bad my hubby for i love my hubby ad would give my life for him if neccessary.

[cathoholic_anonymous]

[quote name='Chaya' post='1456242' date='Feb 6 2008, 08:56 AM']this is exactly what i want. i don't want to undermine his authority, though he thinks that all man is the head of the family stuff is carp.[/quote]

But God has authority over us all. Respect for your husband should enrich your prayer life, not hurt it. If God has invited you to become a Catholic, you must respond. Of course you will have to be very sensitive and thoughtful to your husband's worries, but the fears of another human being - even your husband - should not stand between you and God.