Religious Vocation

[Nathan]

To be honest, when I came to the firm conclusion that I was not called to be a priest I experienced a completely unexpected sense of [i]relief[/i], like a big weight was taken off my shoulders. I felt a new freshness, like I'd been carrying around an unnecessary burden for a long time... and I guess I was. My situation was really [i]wanting[/i] to be a priest -- like, what a cool life that would be -- but having no priestly vocation. My coming to realize my lack of priestly vocation was coming to realize a truth about myself. It felt great.

[Adrestia]

I don't know if I have a vocation, but I'm not scared.

A friend of mine just joined a cloister a few months ago, and I have other friends who have become sisters. On the other side are my girlfriends who are married or engaged. The one thing they all had in common was pure joy.

At one point I thought God wanted me to become a Lay Dominican, but that turned out not to be the case. The Lord brought me to the group for another purpose. (I moved away before the formation program got going, but not before the true reason became apparent.)

I think I'll end up married; but I know several nuns and sisters who thought the same thing. I also know several married ladies who thought they would become nuns or sisters. So basically I'm not sure where I will end up, but I'm not worried about it either.

[EAnn246]

I kind of feel that I have a vocation to religious life. I'm not sure. It scares the heck out of me. From what other people would think of me to not really thinking that I am called. It all scares me. However, I've also felt that I was called to something else (profession wise). I don't know where I'll end up and the not knowing also scares me.

[scardella]

Why is this in the debate table?

[Paddington]

I can't be a priest, because of epilepsy.

[Didacus]

My vocation is to be a father. I had to come to grips with that somewhat, because I still, at times, have desire to become a priest.

[Deb]

I would love to be a nun. I seem to have passed the age of acceptability though so will just wait and pray and see what the Lord wants me to do.

No Fear!

Edited January 4, 2008 by Deb

[friendofJPII]

[quote name='Spamity Calamity' post='1441636' date='Jan 3 2008, 03:29 PM']I feel that this is the heart of your issue. You need to explore why you feel this way and why this is such a issue to you.[/quote]


Well, from a worldy perspective being a sister (or any consecrated person) is just weird. And my prideful self does not want to be looked upon as wierd, I want to be perceived as normal. (Although anyone who follows the Lord these days will be considered a freak, regardless of vocation). And in [i]authentic[/i] religious life, you have to dress a certain way (aren't they hot in those habits?), keep to a strict schedule and supress your will and true desires in order to live out the vow of obedience. It seems rather stifling. I do feel a certain disdain for the life, and that concerns me, because as a good Catholic I shouldn't. That's one issue that I wonder about, we are called to supress our wills and mortify our senses, but where in the process to we lose ourselves? I remember some people at FUS walked around and they just didn't seem real. Like you could have told them that their entire family burned to death in a fire and they would just say, "Okay, if that's God's will," with a big placid smile. That just doesn't seem normal to me.

[cathoholic_anonymous]

[quote name='friendofJPII' post='1442133' date='Jan 5 2008, 12:20 AM']And in [i]authentic[/i] religious life, you have to dress a certain way (aren't they hot in those habits?), keep to a strict schedule and supress your will and true desires in order to live out the vow of obedience. It seems rather stifling.[/quote]

No religious worth his or her salt would ever suppress their will and true desires.

St Thomas Aquinas wrote that all human beings have one burning desire - to know and be close to God. All our other desires are manifestations (sometimes very distorted manifestations, but manifestations nonetheless) of that desire. In one of his sermons, my priest told us not to try and drag our thoughts back to 'holy things', but to sit with whatever happens to be in our heads and let God be with us just as we are.

I tried this advice, tentatively, in one Mass when I was too hot and hungry to pay attention, and I kept thinking about what I would have for breakfast afterwards and wondering if I could move to a cooler seat after Communion. Rather than valiantly trying to push these earthly desires aside and meditate on the prayers, I shared all this with God.

I can't really describe the result, but ever since that moment I have known that Father's advice was sound and that St Thomas was spot on.

It can be applied to much bigger things, too. I read an interview with a young monk from Downside Abbey in England, who was asked by the journalist about how he felt about his life of celibacy. The monk replied, "It's a loss, and you have to grieve for that."

He did speak about fulfilment, yes, but he emphasised that such fulfilment doesn't come about through prayerful ecstasy and gleeful cries of, "I renounce the world!" It can't eradicate our very human needs and wants - it's not supposed to. To be really fulfilled you have to embrace the reality, which includes understanding that grief in monastic life is legitimate. It's about learning to live with who you are, not trying to create a shiny new saintly persona.

As for the habits, the sisters I know assure me that they are quite comfortable. I have spent most of my life in the Middle East, where searing temperatures and long flowing cloaks with headcoverings are the norm, and I know from experience that long clothes can be cool if they're made from the right fabric. When the temperature is at 48 degrees Celsius, it is much more pleasant to be in a long, floaty cotton robe with a lightweight scarf on your head than it is to be in shorts and a T-shirt. You would be a boiled lobster within seconds.

Edited January 4, 2008 by Cathoholic Anonymous

[cathoholic_anonymous]

[quote name='friendofJPII' post='1442133' date='Jan 5 2008, 12:20 AM']I remember some people at FUS walked around and they just didn't seem real. Like you could have told them that their entire family burned to death in a fire and they would just say, "Okay, if that's God's will," with a big placid smile. That just doesn't seem normal to me.[/quote]

It's not normal. I have met a few nuns who fit that description. I can remember talking about one particular community with my priest, and he wrinkled his nose and said, "They [i]smile[/i] too much." I knew exactly what he meant. Early on in my discernment I talked to one of these sisters, and I felt as though I was talking to an automaton with pre-programmed answers. It's all [i]wonderful[/i], such a [i]blessing[/i] to give up [i]everything[/i], a real [i]gift[/i] of the [i]Holy Spirit[/i], and if you're really [i]called[/i] you won't have any problems.

In her defence, this sister was a young novice - I have never heard older nuns speak in platitudes, presumably because they've got years of prayer and experience behind them. I've certainly never heard an older nun say that no one with a true vocation has problems in the religious life. Nuns are surprisingly ordinary people, although there is a tendency to romanticise their lives to the point where authenticity is determined by how 'traditional' (read picturesque-looking) their habits are and whether they take pretty titles after their religious names. Don't let this blind you.

I suggest that you visit a convent or monastery to see for yourself. Not somewhere big and famous, like the SMME or the Nashville Dominicans, where you will be one of many visitors. Pray for guidance and go alone to a little place that you've never heard much about. I'm not saying that you should start discerning religious life, just that you should see more of it, as it is dangerous to your prayer if you hold any vocation in disdain.

Edited January 4, 2008 by Cathoholic Anonymous

[Dismas]

[quote name='friendofJPII' post='1442133' date='Jan 4 2008, 06:20 PM']I remember some people at FUS walked around and they just didn't seem real. Like you could have told them that their entire family burned to death in a fire and they would just say, "Okay, if that's God's will," with a big placid smile. That just doesn't seem normal to me.[/quote]

Hmm. That doesn't sound good. I'd only expect that kind of reaction from "Centering Prayer" types.

[Adrestia]

[quote name='friendofJPII' post='1442133' date='Jan 4 2008, 05:20 PM']Well, from a worldy perspective being a sister (or any consecrated person) is just weird. And my prideful self does not want to be looked upon as wierd, I want to be perceived as normal. (Although anyone who follows the Lord these days will be considered a freak, regardless of vocation). And in [i]authentic[/i] religious life, you have to dress a certain way (aren't they hot in those habits?), keep to a strict schedule and supress your will and true desires in order to live out the vow of obedience. It seems rather stifling. I do feel a certain disdain for the life, and that concerns me, because as a good Catholic I shouldn't. That's one issue that I wonder about, we are called to supress our wills and mortify our senses, but where in the process to we lose ourselves? I remember some people at FUS walked around and they just didn't seem real. Like you could have told them that their entire family burned to death in a fire and they would just say, "Okay, if that's God's will," with a big placid smile. That just doesn't seem normal to me.[/quote]

All vocations require an amount of self-sacrifice. Most working parents keep to a strict schedule.
A Pentecostal friend of mine recently asked me if I had considered become a nun. When I replied yes he was completely taken aback. He then asked, "Isn't that life hard?"
My reply: "And marriage is easy? What's the divorce rate again?"

My cloistered friend's community has a blog. I think you will find that they are quite normal.
[url="http://monialesop.blogspot.com/"]http://monialesop.blogspot.com/[/url]

I also recommend this site... it has my favorite funny story about cloistered life.
[url="http://www.cloisteredlife.com/benedictines.htm"]http://www.cloisteredlife.com/benedictines.htm[/url]

[gamesfanatic04]

I was fully expecting to enter the Southern Dominicans after college until I met a sweet girl that needed to find God and love at the same time. It was kind of hard reconciling all this prep work I had done for becoming a monk with a new eye toward marriage but I just have to trust what I am doing is right.

[johnnydigit]

every Catholic is called to seriously discern religious life, but too few are brave enough to do it. they just write it off without knowing a thing about it. let's pray for those who should have had a vocation but ignored it..

[Lounge Daddy]

[quote name='johnnydigit' post='1442675' date='Jan 6 2008, 10:58 AM']every Catholic is called to seriously discern religious life, but too few are brave enough to do it. they just write it off without knowing a thing about it. let's pray for those who should have had a vocation but ignored it..[/quote]
Word.