Wow, I Just Realized Something About My Life

[Paladin D]

I apologize if I'm contributing to the personal drama thread trend on Phatmass, but this is something that just literally dawned on me moments ago. I'm 20 years old, and I can't think of any skills/talents that I have in which I've really developed to a great extent. They're either of beginner or of mediocure capacity. I see people younger than me who have these God given gifts and are taking full advantage of them, yet I'm sitting here unemployeed, can't seem to enlist in the Army because of beurcratic bullcrap, and can't afford college at this point.

I just almost cried when the shock wore off when I realized the reality of my situation.

One obvious answer is to start focusing on my skills and talents, though I can't help but feel ashamed that I haven't focused hard enough in this particular area of my life. I feel like I'm at a late start, always one step behind everyone else.

Say a Hail Mary for me if you can, it's a short prayer and it'll help.

Edited December 23, 2007 by Paladin D

[Anastasia13]

Work until you will turn 24 by the next Jan 1st. Then you will be financially independant according to financial aid, and they will give you money for college. When you do the FAFSA, use the estimated income from a part-time position you might have when you go to school. Try to make enough, but don't have tons of money saved unless you get rich and can afford school on your own. Community colleges or jr. colleges like CA has are great ways of spending less money while completing lower division work. I don't know if they have them where you are. If you really want to go to school, take whatever decent, honest, relatively safe work you can get and take at least one class at a time. If you work full-time at a college, you should get a discount on tuition, if not a full class free each term. Most full-time Cal State employees get up to six units pain for each term. God may put you in a job where He can use you to reach someone or do something that is important in some way or teach you skills He will use in you later.

If you can't join the army, have you thought about another branch of the military?

I will say a prayer for you.

I am a former part-time cashier and currently

Edited December 23, 2007 by Light and Truth

[alicemary]

I will say that Hail Mary for you, but believe me, you are not alone! You are quite young yet, so don't be so hard on yourself. Some people just bloom a little later then others. Heck, I am 54 and I learn each and every day. Take some steps to get yourself moving again. I am not sure what your situation is, but believe me, once you take that first step it does get easier. It is important not to compare yourself to what others are doing. You have the gift of a full life ahead of you, take advantage of your youth and start to build your tommorrows.

[prose]

HAHAHHAAA!!

Not meaning to make light, but just to put things into perspective:

When I was 20 almost no one I knew was anything other than a waiter/waitress, retail salesperson, cashier etc. The few that I did know that were students were jumping from one major to another undecided on what to do. I knew an exceptionally few number of people that both A. knew what their talents were and B. were doing something about it.

Don't feel alone. We all have been there. I was a waitress until I turned.. . I think it was 21 actually. Then I went back to school and now I am very happy.

If you, at 20, have complete mastery over something, you must be amazing. Most masters don't know what they are until well into adulthood.

Don't fret because a few people around you seem to have their stuff together. They are probably envying you for something too. Life is like that.

Go out, get a job. If you are depressed, deal with that with doctors or whatever (not saying you are, but just in case that is why you are feeling extra down). You don't have to love what you do. You are young enough to just work to be able to do what you love. Just don't stay at home all day. Get out. If you can't get a job, volunteer. It is especially a learning experience if you volunteer somewhere that you wouldn't think you like (ie. seniors home if you don't think you like to be around older people). God stretches us by doing stuff like this. There are things to be learned outside of Phatmass (gasp!).

I will pray for you.

I know how you feel, I was in those shoes years ago, and just now am starting to feel like a productive member of society! Barely...

[jeffpugh]

[quote name='alicemary' post='1437809' date='Dec 23 2007, 12:44 PM']... You have the gift of a full life ahead of you, take advantage of your youth and start to build your tommorrows.[/quote]
The last part was something I needed to hear, too. I'll say a hail mary for ya too. I know the feeling. I too have the same feeling, though I'm 18... almost 19... and hoping to head off to University, God willing. I got an email from a younger friend of mine, who is in grade 11 this year and she's one of those people who can stuff about a million things into her schedule and still get great marks... in fact, she's trying to get to grade 7 violin in a very short amount of time (sounds like me with piano...). Just keep prayin, get out and do something and God will take you where you need to be. It's difficult and daunting, but we gotta keep fighting the good fight.

[Paladin D]

I appreciate the responses, lot of helpful advice.


[quote name='prose' post='1437812' date='Dec 23 2007, 02:00 PM']When I was 20 almost no one I knew was anything other than a waiter/waitress, retail salesperson, cashier etc. The few that I did know that were students were jumping from one major to another undecided on what to do. I knew an exceptionally few number of people that both A. knew what their talents were and B. were doing something about it.

Don't feel alone. We all have been there. I was a waitress until I turned.. . I think it was 21 actually. Then I went back to school and now I am very happy.[/quote]

I was a server (waiter) for 1 1/2 years, from 18 to 20. I quit (on good terms) this year because I thought I was entering into the Army; unfortunately, it's been taking much longer than anticipated (even my recruiter is speechless).

I'm strongly considering going back to the same restaurant establishment since I have good relations there, and the GM always informs me when I visit that there is always a spot open for me. I may take the offer this January if there is no productive updates with the Army enlistment, that way at least I can keep myself busy and take a couple classes at the local community college. I already do plenty of volunteer work (Knights of Columbus), so I'm good in that department.


And to answer [b]L&T[/b]'s question...

[quote name='Light and Truth' post='1437749' date='Dec 23 2007, 03:17 AM']If you can't join the army, have you thought about another branch of the military?[/quote]

None of the branches overall appeal to me as much as the Army. A lot of people don't care which branch they join as long as they 'get in', but for me, I can really see myself as a Soldier, not a Sailor (including Coast Guard), Airman, or Marine.

[Ash Wednesday]

You've got a really great life ahead of you, and everything will be just fine. You know why? Because you[i][b] care.[/b][/i] Your heart is in the right place and you've got the desire to use your gifts, and God will take care of this accordingly in his own time. The worst part is when someone has no ambition or motivation just doesn't care at all.

But I think there's this myth hanging over our heads that we are supposed to hit the ground running when we reach 18, and that ain't necessarily so. People change their life's plans many, many times. There may be some kids getting a head start now, but you never know what the future may hold for anyone. They may end up being totally burnt out for all we know.

I laugh about the time I turned 20. About that time I rode home nearly broke mid-summer with a one-way greyhound ticket home from Texas to Seattle. I ended up working the rest of that summer cleaning machinery in a corn processing plant. Thanks be to God, my life has come a long way since then.

I got my first office job doing graphic design later that fall and it helped me work through and finish school. Boy did working in a dry clean office sure feel luxurious after all that corn!

Anyway you'll be great. God hears our prayers and answers them in incredible and unexpected ways.

[Adrestia]

Some people don't come to that realization until they are 30. I think you'll be just fine.

[Sister Rose Therese]

Most of us have been there. Finding a good job is so hard, but don't give up.
A lot of employers are looking for people with schooling or experience. But there are people out there too who realize the importance of having people who are willing to work hard and care about doing a job right. Those people usually realize to that skills can be learned.
Keep looking, don't give up. You'll find something.

[Ash Wednesday]

[quote name='tgoldson' post='1437953' date='Dec 23 2007, 10:39 PM']Some people don't come to that realization until they are 30. I think you'll be just fine.[/quote]

Exactly right. I'm 31 and a whole new life opened up for me when I reached 30. I feel like my life is just beginning in a lot of respects.

[missionseeker]

I'll say a Hail Mary for you!

[Paladin D]

Again, thanks for the responses (and prayers). I'll say a Hail Mary for youse intentions.




[quote name='Ash Wednesday' post='1437939' date='Dec 23 2007, 09:24 PM']You've got a really great life ahead of you, and everything will be just fine. You know why? Because you[i][b] care.[/b][/i] Your heart is in the right place and you've got the desire to use your gifts, and God will take care of this accordingly in his own time. The worst part is when someone has no ambition or motivation just doesn't care at all.

But I think there's this myth hanging over our heads that we are supposed to hit the ground running when we reach 18, and that ain't necessarily so. People change their life's plans many, many times. There may be some kids getting a head start now, but you never know what the future may hold for anyone. They may end up being totally burnt out for all we know.[/quote]

I never really thought about it that way, makes sense.



[quote]I laugh about the time I turned 20. About that time I rode home nearly broke mid-summer with a one-way greyhound ticket home from Texas to Seattle. I ended up working the rest of that summer cleaning machinery in a corn processing plant. Thanks be to God, my life has come a long way since then.

I got my first office job doing graphic design later that fall and it helped me work through and finish school. Boy did working in a dry clean office sure feel luxurious after all that corn!

Anyway you'll be great. God hears our prayers and answers them in incredible and unexpected ways.[/quote]

Thanks be to God!

[Anastasia13]

[quote name='Paladin D' post='1437881' date='Dec 23 2007, 05:01 PM']I'm strongly considering going back to the same restaurant establishment since I have good relations there, and the GM always informs me when I visit that there is always a spot open for me. I may take the offer this January if there is no productive updates with the Army enlistment, that way at least I can keep myself busy and take a couple classes at the local community college. I already do plenty of volunteer work (Knights of Columbus), so I'm good in that department.[/quote]
Hey, there's something you are using your talents for. A lot of people I know don't bother with any volunteer work, especially if it is beyond something at church once a week.

Sounds like you have a good plan.

I'm 24 and may change my plans to law school instead of just doing finance.

[franciscanheart]

[quote name='Paladin D' post='1437720' date='Dec 23 2007, 12:14 AM']I apologize if I'm contributing to the personal drama thread trend on Phatmass, but this is something that just literally dawned on me moments ago. I'm 20 years old, and I can't think of any skills/talents that I have in which I've really developed to a great extent. They're either of beginner or of mediocure capacity. I see people younger than me who have these God given gifts and are taking full advantage of them, yet I'm sitting here unemployeed, can't seem to enlist in the Army because of beurcratic bullcrap, and can't afford college at this point.

I just almost cried when the shock wore off when I realized the reality of my situation.

One obvious answer is to start focusing on my skills and talents, though I can't help but feel ashamed that I haven't focused hard enough in this particular area of my life. I feel like I'm at a late start, always one step behind everyone else.

Say a Hail Mary for me if you can, it's a short prayer and it'll help. [/quote]
First let me say that I agree with most of what everyone has said thus far. You are YOUNG and HAVE TIME. Now, don't let that make you lazy but definitely do let it allow you to hope and dream for the future!

So you aren't in the Army right now, do something else. I'm not telling you to give up on the Army but I hardly think that dropping everything and giving up hope is the way to go. Go back and get that job and don't leave until you have a date for boot camp.

As far as school is concerned: You can afford it. People who say they can't afford it haven't used all the necessary resources for getting into school. CCs are a good way to start (as has been mentioned previously) and from there you can take out loans, apply for scholarships, and in some cases, obtain grants.

Question: are you still living with your parents?

Don't let yourself throw a pity party for what you haven't done. Don't allow yourself to be sad over what accomplishments you've yet to achieve. Look forward to all of the growth you have yet to see and rejoice in the knowledge that, with God's help, you are well on your way to living a productive adult life.

"The future is no place to place your better days."

[Jaime]

For what its worth, I totally get where you're coming from! I felt the same way at 20. But life can be an exercise in patience and rethinking your goals. For example I was 22 when I was finally nominated for my first pulitzer and it took another five years to be knighted by the Queen of England! And while I still sometimes think I should have accomplished these things earlier, I have to remind myself that its all in God's time and not my own.

And there are still dreams to be fulfilled. I have yet to win People Magazine's "Sexiest Man of the Year". Sure its nice when people say "hot stuff I totally voted for you" (although I looked it up and they apparently don't get to vote) but I have to admit it still hurts a little seeing Matt Damon's creepy mug where I should be. I just keep reminding myself "In God's time hot stuff... in God's time"