Dear Pham, I Need A Lot Of Prayers And Support

[missionseeker]

Thanks!

[Seven77]

i read your post.. had difficulty reading it... maybe you shouldnt give as much detail as you did.. but definitely share your story, it will help others. you are very courageous!

prayers!

[missionseeker]

For clarification (i don't know which posts you all have read)

There are two of us. I'm St. Brigid's daughter and the other one Sometimes...


Thank you all so much. Pham, without you, this blog would not be up. I would have stayed tucked away. I would not have had the nerve.

It feels awful and wonderful at the same time. I think it will be an amazing thing, just if only for the two of us.


Thank you all SOOOO much. I WISH I could tell you how much. There're no limitation on gratitude- but SO many on words. lol..

Love & God Bless,
St. Brigid's Daughter
a.k.a missionseeker
a.k.a Catherine

and to some of you, a.k.a Chantchick. LOL

[Mary-Kathryn]

[quote name='Seven77' post='1433993' date='Dec 13 2007, 06:39 PM']i read your post.. had difficulty reading it... maybe you shouldnt give as much detail as you did.. but definitely share your story, it will help others. you are very courageous!

prayers![/quote]

Your statement baffles me. Victims and Survivors can tell as much as they want, because for them there is NO shame. The only ones who need to hang their heads in shame are the perpetrators.

I won't de-rail the thread. I'll let others continue their prayers and well wishes.

[missionseeker]

Niether one of us told half the story. That's the sad thing. not even a quater, I think.

we both want to tell it all. but slowly. very slowly. but we think that if we want to help anyone (including ourselves), it's all got to come out. We have SUCH different stories and we both feel the same ways. and we both feel entirely different things. i always thought i made it way bigger of a deal pyschologically than it warranted. I didn't want to make a big deal out of it- it was just little things like someone touching me or being afraid of guys. I mean, i was molested, not raped and it's so not that big. but i'm slowly realizing that no matter how "small" i tend to think it is, it's a big deal. and there are lots of others out there with my same problem who need/want to hear it from someone who's been there. so many little things, stupid things are affected by it. sometimes i didn't even realize that the way i was acting was the affect of it. it's so prevalent.

it's almost like the sun. in the most perverted fashion you can think of. everything we do, the way we think, revolves around it. and we don't want it to. we don't want to let it rule our lives, but it does. need to go to the grocery store? yes. well, Kevin and Darek are going want to ride... um, no it's not that important. it probably is, but am i getting in a car with only guys? no- even if they are really great guys that i know won't hurt me. will protect me if anything. it's just... crippling like that.

and there are other people out there who might need to know that they aren't alone

[alicemary]

the problem Mary Kathryn, is that the predator feels no shame, only glory in his/her actions. It is the victim who suffers the shame, the self doubts, the feeling of inadequacies all thier lives.
I support you in your endeavors, but beg you to be cautious in a public forum. This subject is very complex indeed, and much professional support is needed to get through it. Prayers

[missionseeker]

I never got professional support. I'm getting through it. and I will. Thanks for your concerns, it mean a lot.

and I kind of think that's all that seven77 was trying to say...

[Starets]

Missionseeker, I was not sexually abused but i know many who were. Your story and your friend's were very moving. I am glad you were able to share what you did share. Ive always been impressed by people like you and your friend. The two of you have been added to my prayer list.

[alicemary]

Many do get through this without professional help, but I must say, from personal experience, that sooner or later a person who has suffered abuse will need it. It(the abuse) has a nasty habit of rearing its nasty head when you least want it in your life. I am a real advocate of getting help. I can only say for myself, there are matters that I am STILL dealing with, and it has been many, many years.
God be with all of those who have suffered abuse.

[missionseeker]

I kind of think that even with counseling there are always going to be those moments when it rears its ugly head. I mean, counseling is great, and I would definitely encourage everyone to get it, if at all possible. But I don't think it makes everything go away. I don't think anything can do that. It'd be great if there were lol. Magicpills, or potions. lol. I think it's always there. And we have the choice to either conguer or let it conquer us. Not that I think it's a choice we are necessarily able to make, at least not up until a certain point.

[cathoholic_anonymous]

Alicemary is right. Counselling or therapy (there are many different types, as I'm sure you know) don't make the abuse go away, but they [i]do[/i] give you some very good tools and skills for dealing with the situation when bad memories or related issues arise. I have been having a cognitive behavioural therapy for a variety of things connected to my anxiety, which is a very practical sort of counselling. It has helped me to cope with uncomfortable memories (connected to physical abuse rather than sexual) that at first I didn't even realise were still influencing my life. I think you should try to get medical help.

[Mary-Kathryn]

[quote name='missionseeker' post='1434333' date='Dec 14 2007, 02:19 PM']I never got professional support. I'm getting through it. and I will. Thanks for your concerns, it mean a lot.

and I kind of think that's all that seven77 was trying to say...[/quote]

As someone who went through,not the same situation, but an abusive childhood, may I give some unasked-for advice?

Counseling is a great way to learn how to live with that part of your life. You can't forget it, but you can learn how to live with it. It's also a way to work through all of the emotions that may be bundled up deep down inside. Sometimes it does take one or two tries before you find a therapist you are really comfortable with. I stuck with my third one. I don't know you so I'm not making any hasty judgements here. Just offering some small advice.


I'm really glad that you are going to be OK.

[Mary-Kathryn]

"the problem Mary Kathryn, is that the predator feels no shame, only glory in his/her actions. It is the victim who suffers the shame, the self doubts, the feeling of inadequacies all thier lives. "

[b]So very true[/b]

"I support you in your endeavors, but beg you to be cautious in a public forum. This subject is very complex indeed, and much professional support is needed to get through it. Prayers"

[b]It took me a minute to realize you were talking to missionseeker. I'm slow today! [/b]

Edited December 16, 2007 by Mary-Kathryn

[Spamity Calamity]

prayers