CrossCuT Posted December 15, 2007 Share Posted December 15, 2007 (edited) [quote name='-I---Love' post='1434390' date='Dec 14 2007, 05:43 PM']2) person is fat (and would not be likely to make the stmt to begin w/) - it should be admited that yes, they are. Why lie? Let's not be "nice" Christians for the sake of disillusionment. If they are hence making this stmt b/c they want to change, then offer your support.[/quote] [size=1]I disagree. Issues like weight (especially in women) are VERY sensitive topics. Though we are always taught to tell the truth no matter what, the results of that in this situation would be more negative than positive. I personally dont think it is worth damaging their self-esteem (which they might not have much of to begin with) because we feel like being brutally honest. YES they ASKED the question, but all you gotta say is "I love you no matter what" (Which implies "Yes" without the sting) But then you may argue "I dont want them to think being over weight is healthy yadda yadda because I wasnt being Christian by telling the truth" Well all I gotta say is that even if they DO get healthy because of your Christian comment, their mental health may suffer because of it. And if they are not mentally healthy, their physical health will also suffer. [/size] Edited December 15, 2007 by CrossCuT Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
-I---Love Posted December 15, 2007 Share Posted December 15, 2007 [quote name='CrossCuT' post='1434433' date='Dec 14 2007, 09:29 PM'][size=1]I disagree. Issues like weight (especially in women) are VERY sensitive topics. Though we are always taught to tell the truth no matter what, the results of that in this situation would be more negative than positive. I personally dont think it is worth damaging their self-esteem (which they might not have much of to begin with) because we feel like being brutally honest. YES they ASKED the question, but all you gotta say is "I love you no matter what" (Which implies "Yes" without the sting) But then you may argue "I dont want them to think being over weight is healthy yadda yadda because I wasnt being Christian by telling the truth" Well all I gotta say is that even if they DO get healthy because of your Christian comment, their mental health may suffer because of it. And if they are not mentally healthy, their physical health will also suffer. [/size][/quote] If they asked the ? and are fat, they seemingly don't have great self-esteem to begin w/ (as you agree). Agreeing they're fat won't change much. Of course it should be made clear that they are loved unconditionally. But that's not what they asked. I am reminded of the emphasis on "God loves you unconditionally" these days. I enjoy a counter response to this: "But you can still go to Hell." --> "God loves you unconditionally. But you are still fat." The logic in your second paragraph was not clear; feel free to expound. In an attempted response, I am not advocating agreeing they are fat on any Christian grounds. This precedes Christianity. The person is fat. Agree they are. It goes w/out saying that charity and tactfulness are key. As far as their mental health suffering even if they get in better physical shape....LOL....are you claiming that once a fat person becomes athletic (not just thin or "healthy") they are going to still be upset about a comment concerning their former fatness? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CrossCuT Posted December 15, 2007 Share Posted December 15, 2007 (edited) [quote name='-I---Love' post='1434483' date='Dec 14 2007, 10:08 PM']If they asked the ? and are fat, they seemingly don't have great self-esteem to begin w/ (as you agree). Agreeing they're fat won't change much. Of course it should be made clear that they are loved unconditionally. But that's not what they asked.[/quote] [size=1]Its a mind game. The person asking doesnt want you to give confirmation (At least thats how I feel about it). So what is better? A truth that causes a tear? Or a lie that causes a smile? However you DONT have to LIE to avoid the question. Simply say "You are loved no matter what". [/size] [quote name='-I---Love' post='1434483' date='Dec 14 2007, 10:08 PM']The logic in your second paragraph was not clear; feel free to expound. In an attempted response, I am not advocating agreeing they are fat on any Christian grounds. This precedes Christianity. The person is fat. Agree they are. It goes w/out saying that charity and tactfulness are key.[/quote] [size=1]I dunno... I tried to explain something that I anticipated you would rebuttal. I thought you may bring up a point to defend you answer by saying "I dont want them to think being fat is ok if I answer 'No'" So then I went into explaining that though your merciful act of Christian love DID encourage them to adopt a healthier lifestyle, you may have injured their mental health more so than it was before...THUS leading them down the road of anorexia (possibly). [/size] [quote name='-I---Love' post='1434483' date='Dec 14 2007, 10:08 PM']As far as their mental health suffering even if they get in better physical shape....LOL....are you claiming that once a fat person becomes athletic (not just thin or "healthy") they are going to still be upset about a comment concerning their former fatness?[/quote] [size=1]Are you serious?? You think thats funny? What about anorexic people? Bulimic people? They are near DEATH because of how skinny they are, yet they still THINK they are fat. At one point in their life they WERE a healthy weight, but because their mental health was suffering, their physical health did too. Of course that may not be true for ALL people, but anorexia is a serious illness that many people suffering with. However I dont think the same rules apply to athletes nearly as much. So summing it up, basically I do NOT think that being so brutally honest is really necessary. And I shudder to think that one would claim this to be in the name of Christian love... There is a better way people! [size=4]A BETTER WAY![/size] But that is my opinion. [/size] Edited December 15, 2007 by CrossCuT Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Autumn Dusk Posted December 15, 2007 Share Posted December 15, 2007 If this pestering is happening all the time you need to direct the person to help outside yourself. [i] "I can't answer that. You don't listen when I say you're healthy, you've asked me way too many times. I can help you find help if your weight is a huge issue to you or if there's another issue I'm always hear to listen...again if you can't tell me there's no shame in talking to someone who knows how to deal with a problem. Otherwise you REALLY have to stop saying that. Its affecting our friendship becuase I feel as if you don't listen to me/think I'm not honest with you."[/i] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Norseman82 Posted December 15, 2007 Share Posted December 15, 2007 I think both answers leave room to be desired. Although the first is driven by a "do something about it", there is a sarcastic tone about it that in the cartoons of yesteryear would have caused the person making the comment to be smacked on th ehead with a frying pan. The second could be a problem avoidance technique if the person does have a weight problem that may adversely affect his/her health. The response should be phrased in health terms, and that can also mean someone can be too [i]underweight[/i]. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missionseeker Posted November 18, 2008 Share Posted November 18, 2008 [quote name='Justin86' post='1433190' date='Dec 12 2007, 05:25 AM']I think the guy who said you can't keep comparing yourself to supermodels hit it dead on. I mean people get dyslexia over this idea that they're fat when they're a size six. It boggles my mind.[/quote] [quote name='notardillacid' post='1433197' date='Dec 12 2007, 06:06 AM']Reading disorders correlate to size six people?[/quote] [quote name='Aloysius' post='1433199' date='Dec 12 2007, 06:44 AM']see... one time they tried on a dress that they thought was size 6, so when they go on to try on a dress again, it doesn't fit. turns out that they were dyslexic, and the first dress was really a size 9! so they get all depressed thinking that they're supposed to be a size 6.[/quote] [quote name='IcePrincessKRS' post='1433207' date='Dec 12 2007, 07:41 AM']Psst.. anorexia.[/quote] [quote name='Justin86' post='1433221' date='Dec 12 2007, 08:43 AM']Yeah sorry phatmass, I'm a little bit drunk right now, bah....stupid English language*mumble mumble mumble*[/quote] [quote name='prose' post='1433874' date='Dec 13 2007, 02:40 PM']Almost got hot tea out my nose reading this. Thanks.[/quote] [quote name='Sacred Music Man' post='1433881' date='Dec 13 2007, 02:46 PM']A good way to flush your nostrils [/quote] [quote name='Norseman82' post='1434538' date='Dec 15 2007, 02:18 AM']I think both answers leave room to be desired. Although the first is driven by a "do something about it", there is a sarcastic tone about it that in the cartoons of yesteryear would have caused the person making the comment to be smacked on th ehead with a frying pan. The second could be a problem avoidance technique if the person does have a weight problem that may adversely affect his/her health. The response should be phrased in health terms, and that can also mean someone can be too [i]underweight[/i].[/quote] When I was younger, whenever I heard the tune "Oklahoma" I alway thought an anvil would fall on my head... And I thought the musical was about anvils falling on people's heads because they always fell in the Loony Tunes whenever Oklahoma was sung... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted November 18, 2008 Share Posted November 18, 2008 [quote name='Aloysius' post='1433194' date='Dec 12 2007, 05:54 AM']My response: "In the Middle Ages, fat was a sign of wealth and longevity of life; when the next great famine comes, you will outlive us!" lol... yeah, I'm "single"... what's that got to do with anything? [/quote] laughing out loud literally great stuff aloysious Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
littleflower+JMJ Posted November 18, 2008 Share Posted November 18, 2008 [quote name='CrossCuT' post='1434499' date='Dec 14 2007, 11:01 PM'][size=1]Its a mind game. The person asking doesnt want you to give confirmation (At least thats how I feel about it). So what is better? A truth that causes a tear? Or a lie that causes a smile? However you DONT have to LIE to avoid the question. Simply say "You are loved no matter what". [/size] [size=1]I dunno... I tried to explain something that I anticipated you would rebuttal. I thought you may bring up a point to defend you answer by saying "I dont want them to think being fat is ok if I answer 'No'" So then I went into explaining that though your merciful act of Christian love DID encourage them to adopt a healthier lifestyle, you may have injured their mental health more so than it was before...THUS leading them down the road of anorexia (possibly). [/size] [size=1]Are you serious?? You think thats funny? What about anorexic people? Bulimic people? They are near DEATH because of how skinny they are, yet they still THINK they are fat. At one point in their life they WERE a healthy weight, but because their mental health was suffering, their physical health did too. Of course that may not be true for ALL people, but anorexia is a serious illness that many people suffering with. However I dont think the same rules apply to athletes nearly as much. So summing it up, basically I do NOT think that being so brutally honest is really necessary. And I shudder to think that one would claim this to be in the name of Christian love... There is a better way people! [size=4]A BETTER WAY![/size] But that is my opinion. [/size][/quote] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eagle_eye222001 Posted November 18, 2008 Share Posted November 18, 2008 (edited) [quote name='Old_Joe' post='1434373' date='Dec 14 2007, 04:07 PM']You should be like Homer Simpson, "Honey, I'm not going to lie to you." and then walk away.[/quote] I have that episode! Can't remember which season though Let's see....not one.....hmmmmmmm. I am not looking forward to the day when my girlfriend looks at me and says "does this make me look fat" or "am I fat" as either question will be immediate signatures on my death certificate. If anyone knows the correct answer, I would appreciate it. After years of research, I have come to the conclusion that "yes" is not right. I have also studied the answer "no" and and decided that one is not right either. Is silence an answer? I will have to spend more research on this. Anyone care to donate $ to support this research? Checks can be made out to Eagle_eye222001. Edited November 18, 2008 by eagle_eye222001 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted November 18, 2008 Share Posted November 18, 2008 how about " thick is in " Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missionarybelle Posted November 18, 2008 Share Posted November 18, 2008 i really like the "I think you're absolutely beautiful" option. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Christie_M Posted November 18, 2008 Share Posted November 18, 2008 [quote name='eagle_eye222001' post='1703837' date='Nov 17 2008, 11:40 PM'] I have that episode! Can't remember which season though Let's see....not one.....hmmmmmmm. I am not looking forward to the day when my girlfriend looks at me and says "does this make me look fat" or "am I fat" as either question will be immediate signatures on my death certificate. If anyone knows the correct answer, I would appreciate it. After years of research, I have come to the conclusion that "yes" is not right. I have also studied the answer "no" and and decided that one is not right either. Is silence an answer? I will have to spend more research on this. Anyone care to donate $ to support this research? Checks can be made out to Eagle_eye222001.[/quote] I'll give you some advice for free since this is a trial offer. just giver her a kiss and say "i love you" next bit of advice will cost $23.50 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eagle_eye222001 Posted November 18, 2008 Share Posted November 18, 2008 [quote name='Christie_M' post='1703858' date='Nov 18 2008, 02:40 AM']I'll give you some advice for free since this is a trial offer. just giver her a kiss and say "i love you" next bit of advice will cost $23.50[/quote] $23.50? Well I really like the trial offer advice. Thanks. Now all's I need is a girlfriend as I have the world's most difficult question known to man with an answer that actually looks like it wins. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Christie_M Posted November 19, 2008 Share Posted November 19, 2008 (edited) from your last post it *sounded* as though you were already getting married...mah bad. hmm well, since couriosity is my weekness, if you like I'll let you pay off this question in tacos, so very tasty and good for you,, so very tasty and good for you,, so very tasty and good for you, or something edit: i need to re-learn all the smilies again Edited November 19, 2008 by Christie_M Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jesus_lol Posted November 19, 2008 Share Posted November 19, 2008 i like the "kiss" option. but what if you arent dating the girl in question? meh, i think it is still a pretty good way to go about things! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Create an account or sign in to comment
You need to be a member in order to leave a comment
Create an account
Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!
Register a new accountSign in
Already have an account? Sign in here.
Sign In Now