Hi, I'm Az, And I Have Generalized Anxiety Disorder

[Azriel]

If you have a mental health disorder, how many times have you heard the following:

1. If you just had more faith, you wouldn't be anxious.
2. Snap out of it, you have so many things to be thankful for.
3. Don't worry about it.

What saddens me, is that as a society we don't look at someone with cancer or diabetes and say "Get over it", or "Pray more and you'll be cured".

Do you think I asked for this? To worry to the point of hopelessness? To feel like I'm sitting at the bottom of a pit and nothing in my life is ever going to get better - and worse yet - and this is the real kicker - it doesn't matter because I'm going to die anyway.

Of course, this is not my mind set all the time. On good days, or most days, I can be filled with optimism for the future, and have no doubts as to my future or salvation.

But when that trigger in my brain flicks on, it is a struggle to do anything but breathe.

So, please, if you know someone, or are someone with a mental illness ... don't preach at them to pray more, because I guarantee you, we are praying incessantly. Don't tell them its their own fault. And please don't tell them to just relax. Its not possible.

Be there for them. Listen to them cry. Be supportive when they are seeking treatment, and be supportive when they are doing absolutely everything they can to return to normal life.

Hold their hand. Pray for them. But do not tell them its their fault. No one asks for a mental illness.

and btw - its that Dark Time for me. Please pray.

[IcePrincessKRS]

[cmotherofpirl]

Hugs and a shoulder to cry on, with hot tea and fresh baked cookies.

[missionseeker]

May I ask you a question?

My roommate has some sort of anxiety disorder but she's letting it rule her life. She doesn't do anything about it. She retreats to the room and doesn't leave. she's been to two classes in two weeks. She sleeps all day and is up on the computer all night (which is fairly annoying, not to be mean but it is hard to sleep with the keyboard always going.) She plays a video game "World of Warcraft" -which everyone who has heard of that game either was addicted to it or knows someone who was and the stories are horrible. When she's drinking she might be a danger to herself saying things like "it would be better for you guys (my other roommate and I) if i just ended my life" or "i'm worthless" or other things like that. So now no one invites her to go drinking with them anymore. she doesn't eat. She's really susceptible to being sick.

I sometimes feel like I cannot even go in my room. I've have slept in the common room on the sofa a ot so that I don't make her more upset. If someone says something to her (anything, random, not about school or her behaviour) she freaks out. We can't have people in our room. Professors are coming up to me and asking me if she is a student here.

I don't know what to do. She's making it hard for us. We love her to death and we can't stand to see her so unhappy. And we are having problems sleeping and it's stressful to be in the room. Neither of us has ever said pray more (she doesn't pray) or snap out of it or don't worry about it. We've always said, we're here for you. I

It's making e sad though. I don't know if i'm coming back next semester which would mean she would have to adjust to a new roommate, which she doesn't do well. This is her fourth school. I think this is what happened at other places too.

And she's brilliant. Absolutely billiant. She scored like a genius on IQ tests. She was a chem major at Fordham. When she writes her papers (which she hasn't done at all this year) she never gets less than a 95-97.

I love her, and i don't want to hurt her, but I don't think I can live with her anymore.

[Lena]

prayers for you. I understand how you're feeling, to an extent. I get that way as well, it comes and goes.

I also hate when people tell me "it's all in your head" or when they say "you have nothing to stress about! look at me, I have a stressful job and I don't worry!" well that's great for you, but that's not me.

[Azriel]

[quote name='missionseeker' post='1431354' date='Dec 8 2007, 12:37 PM']May I ask you a question?

My roommate has some sort of anxiety disorder but she's letting it rule her life. She doesn't do anything about it. She retreats to the room and doesn't leave. she's been to two classes in two weeks. She sleeps all day and is up on the computer all night (which is fairly annoying, not to be mean but it is hard to sleep with the keyboard always going.) She plays a video game "World of Warcraft" -which everyone who has heard of that game either was addicted to it or knows someone who was and the stories are horrible. When she's drinking she might be a danger to herself saying things like "it would be better for you guys (my other roommate and I) if i just ended my life" or "i'm worthless" or other things like that. So now no one invites her to go drinking with them anymore. she doesn't eat. She's really susceptible to being sick.

I sometimes feel like I cannot even go in my room. I've have slept in the common room on the sofa a ot so that I don't make her more upset. If someone says something to her (anything, random, not about school or her behaviour) she freaks out. We can't have people in our room. Professors are coming up to me and asking me if she is a student here.

I don't know what to do. She's making it hard for us. We love her to death and we can't stand to see her so unhappy. And we are having problems sleeping and it's stressful to be in the room. Neither of us has ever said pray more (she doesn't pray) or snap out of it or don't worry about it. We've always said, we're here for you. I

It's making e sad though. I don't know if i'm coming back next semester which would mean she would have to adjust to a new roommate, which she doesn't do well. This is her fourth school. I think this is what happened at other places too.

And she's brilliant. Absolutely billiant. She scored like a genius on IQ tests. She was a chem major at Fordham. When she writes her papers (which she hasn't done at all this year) she never gets less than a 95-97.

I love her, and i don't want to hurt her, but I don't think I can live with her anymore.[/quote]

I am so not the person to ask this question about, because I don't exactly how to approach someone who doesn't recognize that they need help.

I had my first episode with depression at 22. I didn't seek help until the next bout at 26ish. By saying that you are there for her, you are doing the right thing. But, I guess, in my own experience, if someone hadn't said to me, "You need to get help and get your carp together before you screw up your life irreparably" I may be in a much worse place. But because I know I have a problem, I have sought treatment, counseling (including spiritual, as I sought out Christian therapists), I am able to say that I can still function.

Your friend will not benefit from pussyfooting around her. If you think she is a danger to herself, take action. People won't get help until they decide they need it, but sometimes it truly does take a kick in the pants to take that first step.

Bottom line, is that you also need to take care of yourself, if living with her is not beneficial to YOUR mental health, then you need to take that into consideration.

Again, these are just my humble two pennies. I know that if I didn't have a couple of people in my life who said, "Angie, you absolutely have to get help, because we don't know how to live with you anymore" I wouldn't be in the place that I am.

God Bless, and prayers for you and your friend.

To the rest, thanks for your thoughts and prayers. To Icey and Mom- I know you've seen me go through it before, and your support means a tremendous amount.

[st-annes]

You're in my prayers. I have dealt with anxiety and depression for a number of years. It is very difficult and my heart goes out to you.

[cathoholic_anonymous]

[quote name='Azriel' post='1431325' date='Dec 8 2007, 04:23 PM']If you have a mental health disorder, how many times have you heard the following:

1. If you just had more faith, you wouldn't be anxious.
2. Snap out of it, you have so many things to be thankful for.
3. Don't worry about it.

What saddens me, is that as a society we don't look at someone with cancer or diabetes and say "Get over it", or "Pray more and you'll be cured".[/quote]

I understand. My panic attacks and anxiety were initially secondary symptoms of my autism, but as the focus during my childhood was on how to make me behave normally (as opposed to making me feel secure in my environment) they spiralled out of control, to the point where they became a significant mental health problem. When I finally agreed to seek professional help, and I shared my decision with a Christian pen-friend, I received a rebuke in reply: "The Lord says to trust in him. He doesn't say, 'Go and seek professional help.'"

My response was, "Would you say that to me if you were to find me lying at the foot of the stairs with a broken leg?"

[quote name='missionseeker' post='1431354' date='Dec 8 2007, 05:37 PM']My roommate has some sort of anxiety disorder but she's letting it rule her life. She doesn't do anything about it. She retreats to the room and doesn't leave. she's been to two classes in two weeks. She sleeps all day and is up on the computer all night (which is fairly annoying, not to be mean but it is hard to sleep with the keyboard always going.) She plays a video game "World of Warcraft" -which everyone who has heard of that game either was addicted to it or knows someone who was and the stories are horrible. When she's drinking she might be a danger to herself saying things like "it would be better for you guys (my other roommate and I) if i just ended my life" or "i'm worthless" or other things like that. So now no one invites her to go drinking with them anymore. she doesn't eat. She's really susceptible to being sick.

I sometimes feel like I cannot even go in my room. I've have slept in the common room on the sofa a ot so that I don't make her more upset. If someone says something to her (anything, random, not about school or her behaviour) she freaks out. We can't have people in our room. Professors are coming up to me and asking me if she is a student here.

I don't know what to do. She's making it hard for us. We love her to death and we can't stand to see her so unhappy. And we are having problems sleeping and it's stressful to be in the room. Neither of us has ever said pray more (she doesn't pray) or snap out of it or don't worry about it. We've always said, we're here for you. I

It's making e sad though. I don't know if i'm coming back next semester which would mean she would have to adjust to a new roommate, which she doesn't do well. This is her fourth school. I think this is what happened at other places too.

And she's brilliant. Absolutely billiant. She scored like a genius on IQ tests. She was a chem major at Fordham. When she writes her papers (which she hasn't done at all this year) she never gets less than a 95-97.

I love her, and i don't want to hurt her, but I don't think I can live with her anymore.[/quote]

Is she diagnosed with any medical conditions that you know of? A few of the things that you mention (difficulty coping with new people, adjusting to new places, and managing conversations) are classic symptoms of autistic spectrum differences, but in her case they could be related to something else. I would send what you've written to your college counsellor or psychologist (not mentioning the girl's name, of course) and ask them for advice on how you as a friend can help her. It may be that you can persuade her to get help for herself, especially if she can see that the counselling services would be welcoming and non-judgemental. (She may have had bad experiences with therapy before.)

[kafka]

yeah I agree Azriel, mental sickness isnt a result of lack of the spiritual life, prayer, etc.

[Azriel]

Thanks to you both.

Once, when I was a little girl, my third grade teacher saw my Mother who was on crutches after one of her 5 hip replacement surgeries, and looked at her and said that if she had enough faith she would cured.

It is amazing to me, that any one who professes to be a Christian would say this to someone regarding something that is clearly not a product of their own violition.

Certainly, people who suffer with depression or anxiety disorders need to take an active part in their treatment. They need tools to help them cope, and obviously they need prayer and to rely on their spiritual life. But to say that they would be free of these afflictions if they just had enough faith is ludicrious. Again, its like saying that my cousin who is diabetic should just pray more and she'd be free of her diabetes.

Depression and anxiety disorders are REAL. They are not a product of lack of faith, or inability to trust in God. As a Catholic, I can offer up my suffering, which I do. But, saying that I would be free of my suffering if I just believed more is just insulting and hurtful. Because trust me, if I could flip the trigger and just be happy, I would. No one wants to be in the pit of despair.

[franciscanheart]

[quote name='Azriel' post='1431325' date='Dec 8 2007, 10:23 AM']Be there for them. Listen to them cry. Be supportive when they are seeking treatment, and be supportive when they are doing absolutely everything they can to return to normal life.

Hold their hand. Pray for them. But do not tell them its their fault. No one asks for a mental illness.[/quote]
You said it... and since we are miles apart and I can lend very little physically, you can count on my fervent prayers. May your heart know joy and your life know little trouble.

[Lil Red]

az, you know you've got my prayers, always.

[Lil Red]

and if anyone gives you any trouble, you just let me know and i'll go knock them down!

[Deb]

Az....I certainly can empathize with your situation. I was diagnosed with the same thing about 12 years ago. I worried so much about every little thing that it was a wonder I could even leave my house for work in the morning. I eventually saw a very good psychologist who got me a prescription to Zoloft. I hated to admit I needed a medication but, I did. I was on it for two years and then went off. By then, I had learned more on how to control my life and let go of what I couldn't control. It may not work for everyone but, it saved my life.

I have two brothers, one sister and my father who have been on and off anti-depressants over the last decade and one brother who should definitely be on something, so I think there is a mix of genetic disposition and a shared dysfunction. So many people suffer from mental disorders, more than anyone could imagine, and we all need to be supportive and loving and understanding with each others behavior and troubles.

I will keep you in my prayers.

Deb

[morostheos]

Prayers, Az