Getting Mariam To Summit

[Sr Mary Catharine OP]

Hello, everyone!I need you all to pray with me that our aspirant Mariam from Australia can get the $600AUD she needs to fly here to make her aspirancy.

Mariam has been correspoding with us for 3 years while she has been teaching English in China under very adverse conditions. She's now back in Australia and anxious to come to Summit. Her spiritual director is a Dominican.

Only problem is that the flight is sooo expensive! She has little money as you don't get paid much teaching in China!

We contacted the KofC but they don't give grants of this sort.

Any ideas of who we could contact?

Someone suggested that we put up a request on our blog. What do you think?

In Jesus,
Sr. Mary Catharine

[cathoholic_anonymous]

Make a request on your blog. I am sure people would be willing to make contributions, and even small sums start to add up after a while. I think you should also ask the sisters to write to their families to tell them about the aspirant and ask for donations.

[Mari Therese]

Put it in Jesus' hands, He's a great provider

God Bless.

[Mari Therese]

How about asking for a special collection at Mass?

[VeniteAdoremus]

We've got an old joke here: "The door collection will be for miss de Bruin, who is entering the cloister. She currently does not have enough money to make the vow of poverty."

Door collections can be great for that sort of thing. And maybe her diocese knows some benefactors who wouldn't mind ending up with a Dominican nun praying for them each and every day?

[Starets]

If you establish a paypal account you can set up a link on your blog to take donations for this and other causes

[cmaD2006]

[quote name='Mari Therese' post='1430587' date='Dec 7 2007, 12:36 AM']How about asking for a special collection at Mass?[/quote]

How about getting a special collection at a local mass in Summit? She may have a harder time getting a parish to do a collection (because she was in China instead of in AU); but that should be doable in Summit.

-- Carmen

[Sr Mary Catharine OP]

[quote name='Sr. Mary Catharine' post='1430569' date='Dec 6 2007, 12:32 PM']Hello, everyone!I need you all to pray with me that our aspirant Mariam from Australia can get the $600AUD she needs to fly here to make her aspirancy.

Mariam has been correspoding with us for 3 years while she has been teaching English in China under very adverse conditions. She's now back in Australia and anxious to come to Summit. Her spiritual director is a Dominican.

Only problem is that the flight is sooo expensive! She has little money as you don't get paid much teaching in China!

We contacted the KofC but they don't give grants of this sort.

Any ideas of who we could contact?

Someone suggested that we put up a request on our blog. What do you think?

In Jesus,
Sr. Mary Catharine[/quote]

UPDATE:
Thanks so much everyone for your suggestions which are very helpful! Some have offered to help! As the Carmelites say, "God reward you!" As we say, ""May the Virgin and her loving Child bless you!"

I'll certainly suggest the collection idea to Mariam. She is new to her parish (cathedral) in AUS but her spiritual director who is a Dominican might be able to pull this idea in their parish.

We've also got a request out to the Serra Club who said that they would make an exception and consider it. SO PRAY!

We're going to post something on our blog.

This weekend is the national collection for the National Retirement Fund. Now, first, let me say, WE ARE SO GRATEFUL to ALL who contribue to this as without them we wouldn't be able to afford the care our older sisters need. HOWEVER, I think they should start considering a national collection for vocation debt relief, etc. Something like Mater Ecclesia is doing only on a larger scale.

Sound like a good idea?

I'll keep you all up to date on Mariam's trip.

I'm really hoping she can be here early in 2008 because I'm going to be laid up with ankle surgery in April and that will sort of limit me! That's another story!

God bless you all!

[TradMom]

[font="Book Antiqua"][i][i][color="#A0522D"]Dear Sister Mary Catharine,
This is only my second post on Phatmass, though I have been a "lurker" for quite some time. Forgive any mistakes I might make.
I will not bore you with the details of my life and family - they can be found in my original post somewhere.
I just wanted to respond to your request.
My eldest daughter (too many children to believe, with one on the way!) recently joined a beautiful Carmelite Monastery, and we, as a family, are beginning to really feel the "absence of her presence" as we prepare our first Christmas without her. In the midst of our sacrifice, we rejoice in her vocation.
My second oldest daughter is also considering religious life, possibly as a Carmelite.
What I am going to tell you will most likely reveal the Monastery where my angel has landed, but my intention is not to do so.
My daughter looked at many Monasteries; usually with me as her chaperone. She felt sure she wanted cloistered life, but finding the Order, and then picking the Monastery (or Abbey!) were challenges she hadn't planned on. She had thought it would all just slip into place. We visited the Poor Clares, the Visitations, the Carmelites, the Dominicans, the Benedictines, and even the Precious Blood Nuns. We went to Canada once, and even England. After she and her spiritual director (I had my own "picks" - obviously the one right down the road from our local hospital!) she settled on the Carmelites. Then, she settled on the Monastery. One of the reasons she picked the particular Monastery she entered (aside from their very traditional - and full communion with Rome! - lifestyle - i.e., full habits, mantles, choir veils, etc.) was because this Monastery took a woman late in her life. Now this woman, granted, was a special case. She had been in relationship with the Monastery for a long time, and had felt the vocation of consecrated life growing inside of her.
Of all the reasons my daughter gave my husband and me, this seemed the most absurd and frankly, to us inconsequential. But my daughter gave me an answer that I continue to ponder today, and it was spoken after much thought and deliberation - and prayer - and guidance by her spiritual director.
Many of the Monasteries we had visited were very eager to have a young woman such as a my daughter. She is beautiful inside and out. She comes from a good family. She has lived her faith well and has had much support. Our large family has prepared her for some of the challenges one would expect to find in community life. I'm sure I need not continue.
But in accepting an "older" vocation - a woman well into her sixties! - this Carmel showed they were willing to give someone a chance; they were open to the Holy Spirit, and didn't expect perfection. My daughter, wisely, thought this gave her hope. She had no expectations of entering religious life perfect, and she fully expects - no, she knows, that she will make mistakes. She wanted to feel that she would be given support, love, comfort and guidance. Most importantly, she wanted to know that she was treasured for the potential within. She wanted to know that within reason, a true "seeker" would find hospitality within the Monastic life of this particular place.
Now that she has been gone a while, and I have had time to think about her decision and life in better detail, I see fully the wisdom in her decision, and I see how exhausted she ended up --- hearing how beautiful, how young, how perfect she was. She said to me at one point, 'Mom. I think they only want me because I'm young. And pretty. What do they do with saints who don't have these qualities?"
Needless to say, the Carmel welcomed my daughter, and God willing, will welcome my second daughter in a year's time. As a small gift in this story, the woman the Carmel welcomed, the older woman, was a millionaire many times over. She gave her money to her family, her friends, and her charities. One of which was the Monastery. They will never have to worry again, and while they keep to their vow of poverty very strictly, they are in a position to help others, including those women who are interested but need help.
I know your Monastery has a strict and unbending rule about age. As do the Poor Clares of Perpetual Adoration. The second confuses me since the first Postulant was Mother Angelica's own blood mother, and I know for certain she was well over the age limit. There are many, many Monasteries and Convents that limit vocations based on age, and in doing so, you limit yourselves. One of the nuns from a Benedictine Monastery on the East Coast was a successful lawyer before her entrance. She gifted the Monastery with all of the woodwork needed for their Church (pews and the benches necessary for the LOH).
This is so much longer than I had intended. I apologize. When I read your post, I just stopped and thought about how wonderful it would be if you had access to a "vocational" fund as many other Monasteries have. Yes, I know your reasons for restricting age and implementing age "guidelines." But I can't help but wonder how Christ would react in this circumstances. I can't imagine He would ever turn someone away - at the very least - I believe He would be willing and open to consider their individual situation. What might seem like a pain at the moment - a woman older with her set ways and life experience - might also bring something wonderful - experience, common sense, and the means to help the Monastery have a safety net in the event it should ever need one.
My daughter's Monastery has an outside Accountant manage and adminster their funds, including a large portion to the poor and needy. The repairs were completed, the heater works (luckily, since it can get cold!) and they have nice quarters for their Chaplain as well as a Guest House for visiting families.
I do not mean to put you on the spot. I just wanted to you to hear of another manner of dealing with the changing times of vocations, and I certainly mean no disrespect.
I will keep you and your postulant to be in my prayers. I have already sent a donation to your Monastery.
May God reward you for your good work, and may His Spirit enlighten you, your Mother Prioress and all your sisters.
Please, I humbly beg you, pray for me, my husband and family, our child yet to be born, and our sweet daughter, about to enjoy the wonder of her first Christmas in Carmel.
Sincerely,
TradMom[/color][/i][/font]

[Carolyn]

Beautiful story, TradMom! I really enjoyed this. Thanks!

[Sr Mary Catharine OP]

Dear Trad Mom,
Pax Christi! I was going to PM you but I thought that since you posted this I should respond in kind.
First, God bless you and thank you for your donation for Mariam! She is so STUNNED by the outreach of support for her vocation. It's been a long, purifying journey for her but one that has borne much fruit.

Thank you for sharing about your daughter's reasons for entering the Carmel she entered, which I happen to know which from previous postings. That's very unusual and insightful.

I'm getting a bit tired of responding as to why we have an age limit but I think I need to make it clear that it is not a "strict and unbending rule about age." We make exceptions as need be and are expecting 2 aspirants in 2008 who are in their mid 40's. Currently we have a transfer sister in the novitiate who is 61.

Our decision for an age limit came after much trial and prayer, in fact, after many years (about 30) of no age limit and/or one that was about 50 or so. During my own novitiate many women came and left and they were all old enough to be my mother. It was very discouraging for me and hard on the community. My community is very warm, welcoming and open and for every woman that comes through our doors we welcome them but it also meant that we had to say good bye. Everyone of them left because they could not live this life and told us that it was a positive experience for them.

Every order is different and even within the Order each monastery has it's own charism. Dominicans place a lot of emphasis on striving to be "of one mind and heart in God". The emphasis isn't so much on the externals although they are important. There is a lot of emphasis on community life, too and that is where older women find it difficult. While we have structure we are not highly structured as are some Carmels or Poor Clare monasteries yet as a whole many older women find living in a Dominican monastery very challenging. It's hard to explain why this is so but my monastery and other Dominican monasteries have had this same experience. This is one of the reasons that we have come to an age limit.

Examples of older women in other religious communities persevering is really kind of beside the point because God has called that woman to THAT monastery not this community. Everyone thinks that the age limit is discrimation and because we want only young and pretty women. That has nothing to do with it. We have simply found that older women after about age 40 find it much harder to adapt and to adjust to the demands of community life in our monastery and we only accept a woman (no matter what her age) if it seems to us that she has a good chance with God's grace to live our life fully and to grow and flourish.

It's interesting to read your daughter's vocation journey from your perspective. I have NEVER looked at a young woman who inquires into our community as "Oh, we'd love to have her; she's young, pretty, etc." Always, it is, "Is God calling her to give herself to Him in this monastic community? Does she seem to "fit" and be at home with us? I look for that desire, drive, yearning for Him and for the salvation of souls that is so necessary. Is she willing to give herself away? Everything else: her talents, looks, etc. are just extra. Anyone who looks "perfect" usually has just the opposite effect! This life is about conversio and so if a woman doesn't seem willing or able to "engage" in God's work of transforming her and transfiguring her into His Son she probably won't be able to persevere. One of the most important moments in a young sister's spiritual life is when she becomes both aware and rejoices in her failings and faults because only then can she be open to receive the mercy of God.

[b]I'm sure that there will be a barrage of responses to this posting so I'm going to warn everyone that I'm not going to respond to them because I simply don't have the time[/b].

Thanks, TradMom for sharing all this with me. I will pray for your family and rejoice that 2 of your daughters have been called to Carmel! How beautiful! Please pray for us, too!

In Christ and Mary,
Sr. Mary Catharine

[cathoholic_anonymous]

Thank you for this post, Sr Mary Catherine. It's good to learn about the religious life from those who have lived it for years, especially when the topic is something more sensitive and engaging than who wears a traditional habit and who has Mass in Latin. I treasure the input of the PM religious.

[Totus Tuus]

We have this parish close by which has produced one religious vocation in the last... well, in a long time. So there's a box that she made which remains perpetually in the sacristy to receive contributions that help pay for her education (active order). You might want to put a picture of her on a box and give a little blurb on why she needs the funds. That probably won't collect all the money, but it might help a little.

[TradMom]

[i]Dear Sister Mary Catharine,
Praised be Jesus and Mary!
Let me apologize for I was (as was my daughter) given wrong information about your Monastery. I am so thrilled to hear your clarification, and while you must be - as you aptly put it - tired of explaining, thank the Good God you did. I am thankful for the graces He bestowed upon you to answer within this "phorum" for who knows...there might be some soul reading this who now has the courage to approach your Monastery and beg for the opportunity to test her vocation. I can only imagine how painful and difficult it must be to watch one amongst you leave, and I am sure you have offered much in the way of suffering and sacrifice to Our King of Kings through the pain this has caused you.
I am thrilled beyond words that your Monastery is willing to consider women based upon their individual gifts and calling, and that your age guideline, is merely a guideline, not a rule set in stone.
After seeing the little bit of my daughter's new life, I can see why an "older" person might adapt more easily to a Carmel. Much of the growth is interior and private, the hermit spirit allows one to grow at their own pace and space, in the silence of the cell and cloister. Obviously, I am no expert on contemplative life, but after visiting so many monasteries (shopping!) I feel as if I might be. I have seen (or been told, rather) that struggles are easily kept private and do not necessarily "bleed" into the community life, though, of course, an unhappy Sister or a difficult Sister does spell disaster for the community as a whole. I do understand the diligence the Vocation Mistress must use in recommending an aspirant to the Prioress and Council.
I have sent another donation this afternoon to your Monastery, as a tangible means of apology, and for causing you the strain and exhaustion of once again answering a question that you have obviously heard one too many times. May this Mariam make it to Summit.
I have more daughters, and they are all looking at religious life as the highest ideal of a vocation, and perhaps one day we will meet in person as I take one of the younger ones on a "shopping spree!"
Blessed be your advent, and thank you again for your charity in answering a tedious question and for correcting my lack of knowledge.
TradMom[/i][font="Book Antiqua"][/font][color="#A0522D"][/color]

[Veritas]

+

Did I see Mariam on "Life on the Rock" this past week? It was amazing! She is holy like Mother Teresa, and I do not say that lightly. If so, I'm surprised she is journeying towards cloistered life, but I imagine her prayers will be especially effective and her life fruitful there, Lord willing.

Please let us know. Prayers.

God Bless,
V