Episcopalians

[PatrickRitaMichael]

Hey, So I'm considering dating a good christian guy who is Episcopalian. I'm hard-core Catholic and obviously want to raise my kids Catholic and have a Catholic wedding. However, I also don't want to push him to 'convert' (I do pray that the Holy Spirit will show him that the Catholic Church is the fullness of faith). Anyway, I'm wondering if there should be any other considerations before I start dating him, besides approval from my parents and praying to see if it's not contrary to God's will. It's really hard for me to find a Catholic guy where I'm from (sorry, phatmassers) and my friends are like, "Episcopalian is like Catholic Light," so it's not so bad. But I'm still a little anxious. Any advice or concerns?

[Thy Geekdom Come]

I remember an Episcopalian friend in high school telling me that she was a "Lite Catholic." Think about what that's saying, though. It would be one thing to say that the Catholic Church is more solemn or more structured or more traditional, but to say that one is "lite" seems to indicate that one recognizes something greater in another and recognizes oneself as somehow deficient. It almost cries out, "evangelize me, I know I need more than I currently have!" The downside, however, is that perhaps they want to be "lite," wanting all the flavor of a "non-diet" faith, but none of the calories. This would get in the way of evangelization because it's a wall a person might throw up: "I don't want to be Catholic because I'm don't want to be that committed."

So really, it's a compliment to the Catholic faith, but it is also a serious roadblock in the way of conversion.

However, that's all beside the point. As you surely know, the Catholic faith has no absolute rules against courting and marrying non-Catholics. While it is best to share the same faith, since a married couple is supposed to share their whole lives, it is not absolutely essential. The only absolute rule I know of is that you must not allow his faith to cause you to miss Mass (i.e. you can't replace Mass with Episcopalian services and, likewise, you can't receive communion in an Episcopalian church because their communion is not validly consecrated).

I would say it is fine to court him, but I would recommend doing so with a very discerning spirit...and letting him know that (he has a right to know that your faith is important to you and if he doesn't respect that, it may be the first and only sign you need in discerning the relationship). Finally, St. Paul said that if one person marries another who is not Christian, that person should try to evangelize the other, though I wouldn't recommend the method of handing him Catholic tracts at the end of every date.

You can always welcome him here and we can try to explain the faith to him.

God bless,

Raphael