Jaime Posted April 6, 2008 Share Posted April 6, 2008 [quote name='Paddington' post='1493562' date='Apr 6 2008, 12:04 PM']Celibacy means not trying to be good enough for somebody or tell somebody if they are good enough for you. If we find the perfect spouse, we should give them the mercy of rejecting them. One person thinks you are funny and serious. Another thinks you are neither. Some people like you until they know you. Some people will never like you only because they will never know you. "I think you're ugly" really does mean "it's not God's will."[/quote] this is just one giant buddhist zen parable on dating. Also I don't think "you're ugly" and God's will are mutually exclusive. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cmotherofpirl Posted April 6, 2008 Share Posted April 6, 2008 [quote name='Ash Wednesday' post='1465598' date='Feb 19 2008, 04:17 AM']I just listened to a radio show where the topic being discussed was just this sort of thing. I don't mean to knock men as being the deficient sex here, because there are a LOT of really disturbing trends among girls and young women that are just as alarming. But the site is [url="http://www.boysadrift.com/"]http://www.boysadrift.com/[/url] Basically the gist of this doctor's focus is on the fact that boys and men up to college don't have as much direction and ambition as ones 20 years ago. His theory involves testosterone and estrogen levels and things of that nature, and interestingly enough they did bring up the high levels of estrogen in our drinking water from things like the pill. Again women and girls are not immune from flaws either, given early onset of puberty (from things like too much estrogen) and the sexualization of young girls. Not to mention women becoming more careless about morals and going the "hussy" route as some perverse attempt at "empowerment." But of course it's not just hormones, it's culture, loss of faith, et cetera. When I read historical novels I can't help but wonder if, while I know humanity for the most part has always had problems -- I wonder what people from Jane Austen's time would think of us now. Don't ask me what I'm getting at here -- it just seems like people of character are really hard to come by.[/quote] They don't have direction and ambition because they have never had to WANT for things. As soon as they wanted something their parents provided it. The concept of "earning things" was replaced by the "I deserve it now". Ambition is a hunger and drive is the effort to fulfill that ambition. But if you never had to want you never experienced ambition. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
irishdancer Posted April 6, 2008 Share Posted April 6, 2008 This is fun. Not dating now but when I was I needed a guy to be intelligent and complicated. Prefer introverts with compassion and a sense of humor who follow moral guidleines about relationships. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
XIX Posted April 6, 2008 Share Posted April 6, 2008 As I guy, I usually just try to be sincere without being boorish or stalkerish. I try to avoid the mentality of doing the all of the right things to get her to like me. Sometimes it works out. Sometimes it doesn't. Sometimes it gets me in trouble. But it's what I do. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fides quarens intellectum Posted April 7, 2008 Share Posted April 7, 2008 Love how the name of the thread is "For the Ladies Only," yet the guys can't stay away. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mommas_boy Posted April 7, 2008 Share Posted April 7, 2008 [quote name='cmotherofpirl' post='1493748' date='Apr 6 2008, 02:12 PM']They don't have direction and ambition because they have never had to WANT for things. As soon as they wanted something their parents provided it. The concept of "earning things" was replaced by the "I deserve it now". Ambition is a hunger and drive is the effort to fulfill that ambition. But if you never had to want you never experienced ambition.[/quote] <derail> Agreed. I also think that feminism has had the adverse effect of emasculating men, or at least contributed to it. It's tough for men to be men when women aren't being women (and are, instead, being men). Add into that a general absence of male role models, and the problem perpetuates itself. </derail> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dUSt Posted April 7, 2008 Share Posted April 7, 2008 Wow. This poll is bad news for me. I am an extremely attractive man with a lot of physical prowess, and can smooth talk any lady I come in contact with. Oh well. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mommas_boy Posted April 7, 2008 Share Posted April 7, 2008 [quote name='dust (the ultra-handsome' post='1494460' date='Apr 7 2008, 07:25 PM']Wow. This poll is bad news for me. I am an extremely attractive man with a lot of physical prowess, and can smooth talk any lady I come in contact with. Oh well.[/quote] Heh. I'm a devout and faithful Catholic who is gentle and intelligent, and can be pretty funny/clever when I want to be, and I haven't found a woman who was attracted to me in five years. -sigh- Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mommas_boy Posted April 7, 2008 Share Posted April 7, 2008 (edited) double Edited April 7, 2008 by mommas_boy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rachael Posted April 8, 2008 Share Posted April 8, 2008 [quote name='dust (the ultra-handsome' post='1494460' date='Apr 7 2008, 07:25 PM']Wow. This poll is bad news for me. I am an extremely attractive man with a lot of physical prowess, and can smooth talk any lady I come in contact with. Oh well.[/quote] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Socrates Posted April 8, 2008 Author Share Posted April 8, 2008 [quote name='mommas_boy' post='1494486' date='Apr 7 2008, 06:49 PM']Heh. I'm a devout and faithful Catholic who is gentle and intelligent, and can be pretty funny/clever when I want to be, and I haven't found a woman who was attracted to me in five years. -sigh-[/quote] Chicks don't dig momma's boys. jk Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sarah_JC Posted April 10, 2008 Share Posted April 10, 2008 I admired my betrothed for his holiness long before I was attracted to him. However, I think the tipping point was actually his passion for life and engaging conversation. Would I have found that appealing if I hadn't witnessed his consistent virtue and prayer for a year or two? I don't know. After the tipping point I noticed that intellect and being tall, slim and muscular really helped too. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StColette Posted April 10, 2008 Share Posted April 10, 2008 Important - Holiness! and then Gentleness! Least Impt - Money/Wealth lol ( I fell in love with a Catechist lol what does that tell ya ) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sarah_JC Posted April 10, 2008 Share Posted April 10, 2008 (edited) Yes, gentleness! I couldn't live with a man who was brutish in either action or speech. *edit: I just want to clarify that I don't consider passing gas or grunting to be brutish. I consider belittling and taking advantage of someone's weaknesses to be brutish.* Edited April 10, 2008 by Sarah_JC Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Deb Posted April 11, 2008 Share Posted April 11, 2008 [quote name='dust (the ultra-handsome' post='1494460' date='Apr 7 2008, 07:25 PM']Wow. This poll is bad news for me. I am an extremely attractive man with a lot of physical prowess, and can smooth talk any lady I come in contact with. Oh well.[/quote] .....and another delusion revealed. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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