For The Ladies Only

[Totus Tuus]

I would like to put in my two cents concerning money. First of all, status symbols related to money are TOTAL, 100% TURN-OFF to me. I look the other way when I see a sports car coming, or a guy with the most expensive clothes. I find practicality REALLY attractive, and it's an obvious fact that a guy is not practical if he's driving a super-expensive car and wearing ridiculously priced clothes, or other status symbols that relate to having money. It also shows a lack of self-control, like Prose pointed out. The practicality issue is really big for me. Personally, I don't ever think about having a wealthy husband. For heaven's sake, I was a Franciscan... Lady Poverty is one of my best friends But I do think it's awesome when a guy is practical, because even if he's poor, he will make ends meet by being practical. I don't know if that makes sense, but that's just how I feel

Edited November 13, 2007 by Totus Tuus

[prose]

[quote]Popularity/social status , Charm/smooth talker[/quote]

I think these two are deceiving also in how they are worded.

I am very attracted to articulate men (assuming I wasn't already married to one ). I think Charm is important. Most men who are charming are so because they are respectful and polite. I think these are all VERY attractive qualities.

It is very similar to popularity. Popularity and social status are not necessarily bad things. Many times the reason a man is popular is precisely because he is kind and a good man. Not always (obviously), but often. And if this leads to a "high" social status, so be it. I would not be unattracted to a man because many people enjoy his company.

[jeffpugh]

[quote name='Noel's angel' post='1417847' date='Nov 11 2007, 05:44 PM']One word.


Eyebrows.[/quote]
Lawl!


Okay with all seriousness, this has been an important poll I think. I null voted a while back to see how the graphs were turning out, and it turns out many of the ladies do like someone striving for holiness... well... I guess all good Catholics need to have that in mind.

[photosynthesis]

For me, the most attractive qualities in a man are the virtues of faith, hope and charity. If a man really devotes himself to God and pursuing holiness, everything else will fall into place. Also, Marian devotion is something I find especially attractive.

Looks are important. You should be attracted to the person you are called to marry. However, even the most beautiful people get old and wrinkly and succumb to age and disease.

Charm is certainly an admirable quality. When I started dating my fiance, he used to say the sweetest things to me... telling me that I'm beautiful, saying he wanted to marry me. One day, I was talking to one of my girlfriends, and she said "Are you sure he really loves you, or is he just a smooth talker who says that to any girl he's dating?" It made me doubt him a bit. As we spent more time together, and I got to know him a little better, I realized that he wasn't a charmer. He at times can be inattentive, thoughtless and selfish. He's a man of few words, and romantic eloquence isn't his biggest strength.

However, the Holy Spirit intercedes for our weaknesses. For example, I always notice that my fiance sometimes says very charming, sweet things when we are praying together, and not necessarily in normal conversation. Even though he himself isn't very eloquent, the Holy Spirit can inspire him to say things to me that he wouldn't think of saying on his own, and I think that's an even better quality.

[Ash Wednesday]

I didn't vote "holiness/moral virtue" as being first priority because it's kind of a given that anyone I dated would exhibit those qualities one way or another. If a man had no holiness or moral virtue, it pretty much takes them out of the equation. But even within the circles of the Catholic boys I dated or were friends with, they all had differing personalities and qualities.

As for the money and wealth or popularity thing -- women say that this "doesn't matter" but in some ways it can be a factor. Before people start screaming at me -- let me explain what I mean. If a man exhibits these qualities, it could be that women are attracted to this because of the qualities that can lead to financial well-being and popularity. If a man has some financial stability and can keep a regular job, it can show that he is responsible, has goals and ambitions in life and a sensible head on their shoulders. (Of course there are times when life throws you a curve, and I'm not talking about that. Like if someone is laid off or whatever...) Likewise if they are "popular" -- then maybe that is simply because they have a good sense of humor and are a likeable person.

So generally, if a woman says "money and popularity don't matter" then I'm guessing that on some level they mean they don't want to be with some snotty rich frat boy who buys his shallow friends -- but it doesn't mean they are willing to end up with antisocial dude who is irresponsible with money and constantly gets fired from their job, either.

To me it's one thing to meet a guy and make some note of whether or not they possess certain qualities that I find attractive -- but I think overall one thing that factors into attractiveness is something that can't really be explained on paper and forced into being: chemistry. That either happens or it doesn't.

Edited November 14, 2007 by Ash Wednesday

[missionseeker]

I want to marry a poor man. Dirt poor.

[photosynthesis]

I don't think a man is really ready to get married until he has established a means of supporting a wife and children. He should be done (or almost done) with pursuing his educational goals and he should have a steady job. He doesn't have to be earning six figures or own a big expensive house, but he should be in a position to support a wife and children.

[prose]

[quote]So generally, if a woman says "money and popularity don't matter" then I'm guessing that on some level they mean they don't want to be with some snotty rich frat boy who buys his shallow friends -- but it doesn't mean they are willing to end up with antisocial dude who is irresponsible with money and constantly gets fired from their job, either.[/quote]

That is EXACTLY what I was saying

Great minds think alike

[prose]

[quote]So generally, if a woman says "money and popularity don't matter" then I'm guessing that on some level they mean they don't want to be with some snotty rich frat boy who buys his shallow friends -- but it doesn't mean they are willing to end up with antisocial dude who is irresponsible with money and constantly gets fired from their job, either.[/quote]

That is EXACTLY what I was saying

Great minds think alike

[Winchester]

Where is "Ability to listen to incessant droning speech?"

[rachael]

[quote name='Winchester' post='1419547' date='Nov 14 2007, 10:14 PM']Where is "Ability to listen to incessant droning speech?"[/quote]
You have that ability?

[Totus Tuus]

[quote name='rachael' post='1419555' date='Nov 14 2007, 09:30 PM']You have that ability? [/quote]

Yeah, we just assumed there was no guy with that ability...

[Ash Wednesday]

[quote name='photosynthesis' post='1419415' date='Nov 14 2007, 03:48 PM']I don't think a man is really ready to get married until he has established a means of supporting a wife and children. He should be done (or almost done) with pursuing his educational goals and he should have a steady job. He doesn't have to be earning six figures or own a big expensive house, but he should be in a position to support a wife and children.[/quote]

Agreed on all counts!

[quote name='prose' post='1419468' date='Nov 14 2007, 06:54 PM']Great minds think alike [/quote]

[Archaeology cat]

[quote name='Noel's angel' post='1417847' date='Nov 11 2007, 10:44 PM']One word.
Eyebrows.[/quote]

That's actually one of the first things I notice about people: their eyebrows. I think it's because my dad & I are the only ones in my immediate family to have full eyebrows (everyone else's stop half-way over their eyes).

[Maria]

Something that matters to me is what I call strength in gentleness... the inner strength to be quiet, to be patient, to deal with screaming kids without getting overtly frazzled.
It's something I admire very much, and something that attracts me.