Difficult Decision

[Sanvean]

Since I became Catholic in 2004, my relationship with my Dad has been on a constant decline, and things only got worse when he married my Stepmother. Over the years, it seems like they have found extreme fault with nearly every aspect of my being, from my faith to my preference for a life of chastity.

For the past few years, I have tried to do so much(but never enough) to salvage our relationship, although there has always been a growing sense that things were coming to a head. It's true that I have offered up countless prayers and sacrifices for them, but it's also true that I have sometimes lost my patience, and acted in a way that wasn't exactly loving.

It's funny, because over the past year, I really believed that things were slowly getting better between us. I was wrong: this past summer, everything blew up. I won't go into all of the details, but it was awful. Over a course of four months, my Dad and his wife made it clear to me that they neither like me nor want me in their life. They claim that I am a cruel, evil person whose only joy in life is to cause pain and destruction in the lives of those around me.

We reconciled briefly in August, but things have since quickly fallen apart again. In October, my Dad started threatening me with the police(but, thankfully, that situation has been resolved; his accusations were objectively ridiculous), and it seems like every attempt I make at communication is viewed in a very hurtful and distorted manner. At the same time, no matter how hard I try, I am still very hurt by many of the things they have accused me of, and I find it increasingly difficult to motivate myself to keep putting myself in these situations.

So here we are now, and they are expecting a response from me regarding my Christmas plans, and I don't know how to respond. I don't think it would be wise for any of us to spend time together until we are capable of at least having a relatively civil conversation. Still, I don't know how to tell my Dad that I don't feel comfortable spending Christmas with him, and I know that any such letter will hurt him deeply. I don't know what course of action is the right one for me to take.

So, please, pray for me, that I'll be able to make the right choice, and pray for all of us that we can somehow find healing and reconciliation.