alicemary Posted November 3, 2007 Share Posted November 3, 2007 Thank you for your frank honesty. I really hope that others read this and realize that religious life is hard, very hard. If one is not truly strong, both physically and mentally there is no way to persevere. God does give the grace to those who are truly called, but we are still housed in a human body. Annie, you cant change these lovely woman. They have a structured life that they have been living for centuries. To them it makes sense. I have always read that obedience is the toughest of vows to live, and it seems is your issue. God give you the strenth and wisdom to make the right decision. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thomist-in-Training Posted November 3, 2007 Share Posted November 3, 2007 [quote name='alicemary' post='1413653' date='Nov 3 2007, 11:44 AM']Thank you for your frank honesty. I really hope that others read this and realize that religious life is hard, very hard. If one is not truly strong, both physically and mentally there is no way to persevere. God does give the grace to those who are truly called, but we are still housed in a human body. Annie, you cant change these lovely woman. They have a structured life that they have been living for centuries. To them it makes sense. I have always read that obedience is the toughest of vows to live, and it seems is your issue. God give you the strenth and wisdom to make the right decision.[/quote] Amen. I am also considering the cloister and hope to make an aspirancy this summer, but with Dominican nuns who I don't think are as strict as Carmel. Still though, I am sure some things are similar. Thank you Annie for your honesty. I will pray for you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cathoholic_anonymous Posted November 4, 2007 Share Posted November 4, 2007 [quote name='Thomist-in-Training' post='1413704' date='Nov 3 2007, 06:27 PM']Amen. I am also considering the cloister and hope to make an aspirancy this summer, but with Dominican nuns who I don't think are as strict as Carmel. Still though, I am sure some things are similar. Thank you Annie for your honesty. I will pray for you.[/quote] The degree of strictness seems to depend on the particular monastery. The Carmel I am looking at is austere, but not in the way that Annie described - recreation is much more informal, to give one example. Annie, I've written you an e-mail. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Starets Posted November 4, 2007 Share Posted November 4, 2007 I am benedictine rather than carmelite in orientation, but I will soon be facing the same issues. MCiD is fairly austere as well. The hardest thing about monastic life in any community is the fact that you live with the same people 24x7. I don't have any words of wisdom for you. Just know tha tI will be praying for your discernment and perseverance. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sister Rose Therese Posted November 4, 2007 Share Posted November 4, 2007 Annie, May I ask, why did you want to enter this particular monastery? What were the things you were looking for, or thought you needed in religious life? Have your ideas about those changed? I do think that the romance of the idea of cloistered life can entice people to enter. When they find the reality not so romantic it is a really let down. It happens somewhat with active communities too but not to the same degree. It is hard. I think that is also why so many marriages fail too. It isn't always so romantic. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AccountDeleted Posted November 6, 2007 Author Share Posted November 6, 2007 Thank you all for your posts and emails. I am slowly trying to answering the private ones as library times permit. I appreciate especially hearing from those of you who have actual experience in convents, no matter what type, and enjoy hearing from those near to my age about their own feelings and ideas regarding loving Jesus and serving him in various ways. My brother told me to either 1) go become a "Church Lady" somewhere and forget the cloister or 2) smell of elderberries it up and accept the rules. He is very funny with me sometimes but he loves me and prays for me, so I know he is only thinking of my welfare. Why did I choose this community? I loved the idea of them being traditional and the austerities attracted me rather than repulsed me. But, and this is why I said that some might not understand unless they had lived the life themselves, the reality of sacrifice and suffering for Jesus is much different than the idealised romance of doing it. Of course, as an adult, I should have know this, but when one is in love, which I am, with Jesus, then it seems as if no sacrifice could be too hard, no demand too unreasonable. Keeping the supernatural perspective isn't always easy however, and sometimes one just feels tired and cranky - lol! One of the visiting confessors told me that it is in our weakness that God meets us, so perhaps all of this is for my own good - I don't know. I do know that Jesus is still my love and my life, and that God willing, I will find where He wants me to be. All of your prayers can't help but influence Him to treat me with kindness and mercy, which He is anyway -- so what do I have to worry about? In this time, I am learning more every day about faith in Our Lord, and learning that His love is really all that matters. So I don't regret entering, and I don't regret coming out either. And since I have been out, I have met some wonderful people, and been able to go online and talk with many more wonderful people, so "all is for the best, in this the best of all possible worlds". I must answer some private emails now - but thank you all for your love and support, suggestions and comments and ideas and just plain love! Annie Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AccountDeleted Posted November 6, 2007 Author Share Posted November 6, 2007 Thank you all for your posts and emails. I am slowly trying to answering the private ones as library times permit. I appreciate especially hearing from those of you who have actual experience in convents, no matter what type, and enjoy hearing from those near to my age about their own feelings and ideas regarding loving Jesus and serving him in various ways. My brother told me to either 1) go become a "Church Lady" somewhere and forget the cloister or 2) smell of elderberries it up and accept the rules. He is very funny with me sometimes but he loves me and prays for me, so I know he is only thinking of my welfare. Why did I choose this community? I loved the idea of them being traditional and the austerities attracted me rather than repulsed me. But, and this is why I said that some might not understand unless they had lived the life themselves, the reality of sacrifice and suffering for Jesus is much different than the idealised romance of doing it. Of course, as an adult, I should have know this, but when one is in love, which I am, with Jesus, then it seems as if no sacrifice could be too hard, no demand too unreasonable. Keeping the supernatural perspective isn't always easy however, and sometimes one just feels tired and cranky - lol! One of the visiting confessors told me that it is in our weakness that God meets us, so perhaps all of this is for my own good - I don't know. I do know that Jesus is still my love and my life, and that God willing, I will find where He wants me to be. All of your prayers can't help but influence Him to treat me with kindness and mercy, which He is anyway -- so what do I have to worry about? In this time, I am learning more every day about faith in Our Lord, and learning that His love is really all that matters. So I don't regret entering, and I don't regret coming out either. And since I have been out, I have met some wonderful people, and been able to go online and talk with many more wonderful people, so "all is for the best, in this the best of all possible worlds". I must answer some private emails now - but thank you all for your love and support, suggestions and comments and ideas and just plain love! Annie Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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