God Is Calling Somebody To Be A Nobody?

[Paddington]

Could God be calling somebody to just be single, have a tiny job, a very small social life and to go home and be alone, do the laundry and eat a microwave burrito?
No monastery/convent considered either.

I know you might think, "we are supposed to be nobody in the sense that we lose ourselves for Jesus."
Or, you might think...."you can do that as long as you go to Mass and Confession and pray some and give a lil money and a lil time."

Other than those possible objections, is it okay to aim for that? Or at least to settle for it after some failures trying to be "successful" by normal standards of people of the world and Church?

Also, I'm not asking if it is okay to do this for a year or two. I mean one's whole life.

[LouisvilleFan]

[quote name='Paddington' post='1399364' date='Oct 8 2007, 01:09 PM']Could God be calling somebody to just be single, have a tiny job, a very small social life and to go home and be alone, do the laundry and eat a microwave burrito?
No monastery/convent considered either.

I know you might think, "we are supposed to be nobody in the sense that we lose ourselves for Jesus."
Or, you might think...."you can do that as long as you go to Mass and Confession and pray some and give a lil money and a lil time."

Other than those possible objections, is it okay to aim for that? Or at least to settle for it after some failures trying to be "successful" by normal standards of people of the world and Church?

Also, I'm not asking if it is okay to do this for a year or two. I mean one's whole life.[/quote]

If you're eating microwaved burritos every night for dinner, your whole life may only be a year or two.

What about evangelization? Participation in Church ministries or apostolates? Time with family and friends? If you think going to Mass and Confession, giving "a lil money and a lil time" is enough, it's high time you started stretching yourself outside of that "lil comfort zone" you've created. But that'll begin with prayer, because there are a lot of directions you could go in, but whatever we do should begin with God's initiative.

[Paddington]

Louisville Fan,

Let's just pretend that this person gives 10% and volunteers 2 hours once a week.
There are probably many priests who wish that were the average giving and involvement in their parish.

Family and friends.....how bout 5 hours once per week.

This person is already doing the requirements for salvation.

Would you still judge this person?

Peace,
Paddington

Edited October 8, 2007 by Paddington

[Starets]

8i dont have a problem with that at all. my own life at the moment isnt much grander. no microwave but a toaster oven

[withouthavingseen]

[quote name='Paddington' post='1399364' date='Oct 8 2007, 01:09 PM']Could God be calling somebody to just be single, have a tiny job, a very small social life and to go home and be alone, do the laundry and eat a microwave burrito?
No monastery/convent considered either.

I know you might think, "we are supposed to be nobody in the sense that we lose ourselves for Jesus."
Or, you might think...."you can do that as long as you go to Mass and Confession and pray some and give a lil money and a lil time."

Other than those possible objections, is it okay to aim for that? Or at least to settle for it after some failures trying to be "successful" by normal standards of people of the world and Church?

Also, I'm not asking if it is okay to do this for a year or two. I mean one's whole life.

...

Let's just pretend that this person gives 10% and volunteers 2 hours once a week.
There are probably many priests who wish that were the average giving and involvement in their parish. Family and friends.....how bout 5 hours once per week. This person is already doing the requirements for salvation. Would you still judge this person?

Peace,
Paddington[/quote]

Paddington,

Really, the question I think is getting at the heart of Christianity. The homily I heard at Mass just this morning was about exactly this point. Christianity's very heart isn't a change of the moral law ("Thou shalt not kill" isn't a Christian nor even a Jewish innovation), nor of procedures ("Go to confession instead of that old-fashioned bull-sacrificing").

Christianity's heart is about a change of heart. Living as the old man, we ask, "What must I do to inherit eternal life?" What's the minimum? But living in Christ, we ask an entirely different question, the one Peter put to Jesus as he fled from Rome, "Where are you going, Lord?" The shift is complete and radical. The old man thinks things are good enough as is; the new man follows Christ to whatever end. If we still live as the old man, but only follow new rules (confession instead of sacrificial bulls, Mass instead of synagogue) then we have missed the boat, missed Christ... and then Christ has nothing to do with us.

The Father has willed multitudes to live "ordinary" (whatever THAT means) lives. But the Father has not called anyone to mediocrity in Christian living. "The Christian life is not about the mere avoidance of sin and the fulfillment of strict obligations," the homilist preached this morning, "but about seeking to follow Jesus in one's own life circumstances." This proposition requires that "we are always seeking after deeper prayer, more sacrificial giving, and clearer proclamation of the Gospel." The hermits were not locked away in a humdrum life. Quite the contrary, their exteriorily humdrum circumstances (by most standards living in a hole in a desert isn't very exciting) were the setting for deeper intimacy with God, amazing self-mortification, and even vigorous writing and preaching.

St. Therese of Lisieux's "Story of a Soul" is an incredible diary of a VERY little existence that is rivetting because of its passion, intensity and purpose. Paddington, God has made almost all of us little, and wants even the bigshots to be little in their hearts. But little is not the same thing as mediocre; quiet is not the same thing as bland or dull or lifeless. Bl. Pier Giorgio Frassati gives us an example of a single young man like ourselves whose ordinary life (student studying something he thought was pointless) was filled with passion and purpose though he probably thought he had never found his vocation.

I'ld really like to communicate with you in private on this, because we are in perhaps a similar life situation. I am thirty years old, have a humdrum job, and kinda wonder what, if anything, different God has in store for me in the future. I wouldn't judge you to save my life (I hope... but really, I am kind of a jerk come to think of it.... well, I won't judge you about this at all). It is SO easy for me to get bogged down in a burrito-for-dinner way. It is really not what we are made for though.

[Aloysius]

a lot of people nowadays like to list "single" as the third vocation after religious and married. it is, to a certain extent, but one thing must qualify that understanding which I believe is missing from much talk about "single" as "just another vocation.

marriage is the vocation which is natural to man, in that his body is clearly made by nature for it (we all have sex drives and sex organs and such, well, except those with deformities and disorders and such). the religious vow of celebacy seeks a super-natural status, sacrificing that natural status for a divine purpose.

generally, one must understand the single vocation in the same context. it is not so much the same supernatural celibacy, but it ought to be for a purpose. celibacy for no purpose is not a vocation, it just means you haven't found the right person to marry yet. celibacy for a purpose, even outside of religious vocations and the priesthood, can be a vocation.

what type of purpose? could be a carreer that has special purpose to you as a person, could be that your parents need taken care of in their old age, could be to devote all your free time to study. it COULD be so that you have enough time/money to donate MORE than the average parishiner at a Church can (because the average parishiner has more responsibilites and such)... but it should be some type of purpose.

but if it's just that you couldn't afford to start a family, or that you haven't found the right person yet, you shouldn't go so far as saying you have a "vocation" to be single, you're just in the present state of being single.

[CatholicCid]

I admit I haven't read through all the responses, but the OP really reminds me of the story of St. Benedict Joseph Labre, the Beggar Saint.

I'll just summarize what Peggy Noonan said of him in "John Paul the Great":
There is the story of Saint Benedic Joseph Labre, an obscure beggar of eighteenth-century Rome who lived among the poorest of the poor. He wasn't very good at begging. When someone would give him a penny, he'd give it to the beggar nearby. He walked the streets in an old cload tied at the waist with rope and a sack containing only a Bible and a prayer book slung over his shoulder. He lived to pray, and to recieve ththe sacraments. He walked along and slept in churches. He didn't want anyone to know of or admire his sanctity; he wanted to suffer each day with Christ, wanted to bury his head against Christ's cloak and be unknown, uncelebrated.
The day he died, at age thirty-five, of the old age of the streets, a remarkable thing happened.
As the parish priest who was Benedict's confessor and his only friend wrote, "Scarcely had this poor follower of Christ breathed his last when all at once the little children from the houses hard by filled the whole street with their noise, crying out with one accord: 'The Saint is dead, the Saint is dead.'But [soon] after they were not only young children who published the sanctity of Benedict; all Rome soon joined in their cries, repeating the self-same words: 'A Saint is dead.'... Great numbers of persons who have been eminent for their holiness and famour for their miracles have ended the days of their mortal life in this city; but the death of none of them ever excited so rapid and lively an emotion in the midst of the people as the death of this poor beggar.

[LouisvilleFan]

[quote name='Paddington' post='1399400' date='Oct 8 2007, 03:02 PM']Louisville Fan,

Let's just pretend that this person gives 10% and volunteers 2 hours once a week.
There are probably many priests who wish that were the average giving and involvement in their parish.

Family and friends.....how bout 5 hours once per week.

This person is already doing the requirements for salvation.

Would you still judge this person?

Peace,
Paddington[/quote]

I did use the "you" pronoun a bit much in that last post, but I was intending to speak to all of us who find ourselves in this same situation along our journey. When we find that we are bored or comfortable with our lives, it usually means that we need to be stretched outside our comfort zone. After all, Satan often tempts comfortable Christians into spiritual apathy.

Your example is more than the average person gives, but Christ's teaching wasn't to meet or exceed the status quo. The requirement for salvation is to love God with [i]all[/i] your heart, soul, mind, and strength. Of course, that will manifest itself through giving, but the part of your question that gave me pause was the giving "a lil money and a lil time." It sounds like you may have lost the joy in giving sacrificially. Every Christian is called to give everything -- that is, sacrificing with joy as much as we can. Whether that's 10%, or 2% for someone with debt payments, or 100% for those who enter religious life, all should be giving sacrificially and it pleases God if we give with joy, not out of guilt, burdening obligation, or simply meeting some arbitrary requirements.

Beyond tithing, loving God with everything means that every dollar we spend and how we use our time, our working habits, and everything we do needs to reflect our pursuit after holiness. As long as we're on this earth, there is always room for improvement. Not until after death are we made perfect.

Meanwhile, I'm writing this at work when I should be, well, working. But hopefully this clarifies what I was getting at.

[CatherineM]

Neither of my foster sons liked school. They were chemical exposure babies, so I guess I should have been content that they were still willing to go to school. The older one seemed to live to just do enough to survive. I kept pushing them to not just do the minimum, but try to excel. They may not have been capable of reaching it, but it was important to try. What I heard when I read you post was you were trying to figure out what the minimum was to slide in safe at home. Never sell yourself short, reach as high as you can go. It sounds like you are in a rut. Time to shake things up, and find something that sets you on fire again.

[bonoducchi]

[quote name='Paddington' post='1399364' date='Oct 8 2007, 12:09 PM']Could God be calling somebody to just be single, have a tiny job, a very small social life and to go home and be alone, do the laundry and eat a microwave burrito?
No monastery/convent considered either.

I know you might think, "we are supposed to be nobody in the sense that we lose ourselves for Jesus."
Or, you might think...."you can do that as long as you go to Mass and Confession and pray some and give a lil money and a lil time."

Other than those possible objections, is it okay to aim for that? Or at least to settle for it after some failures trying to be "successful" by normal standards of people of the world and Church?

Also, I'm not asking if it is okay to do this for a year or two. I mean one's whole life.[/quote]

I have been wrestling with this quite a bit lately.

Since I work for the Church, most of my waking hours are spent in service of God's people. As humbling and important as that work is, it has reduced much of my own personal time and relationships to rubble. I ended a long-term (albeit long-distance) relationship because the Church was demanding more and more of my time and I was not able to devote enough personal resources to the relationship. Being a young man in the Church, I don't meet many people my age with whom I am comfortable socializing (one must be supremely conscious of rumors, gossip, and scandal), let alone someone I would be comfortable dating. My best friend moved away and my other close friend is very busy with her job. Consequently, I spend most of my nights after work alone.

While I can't identify with the "small job" or microwave burrito part of what you propose, the reality of loneliness is certainly familiar. At this point in my life, I would say yes, God may call someone to a seemingly small life of solitude. It can make more room for his kingdom in our lives, and consequently, the lives of those we interact with.

This doesn't mean I always like being alone. I've been struggling with anger lately, at God, at the Church, and at my peers who seem to think that because I work for the Church, I'm somehow less "fun" to be around. A mild animosity towards women who ignore me also rears its head, as well. Many nights lately I have been angrily praying vespers, shaking my fist at God for drawing me into a more active part of his work on earth at the cost of being "normal." Often the though of sneaking out the back door and working in some more "normal" endeavor crosses my mind. But the man and mission are what keep me on the organ bench.

A priest friend of mine told me over scotch one evening "Its better to alone than to wish you were alone."

This all may be a bit off topic, but your post hit a nerve.

[Aloysius]

VII, sounds like you could exemplify what I was talking about in regards to the "single vocation": single for a purpose. Just one thought.

[johnnydigit]

whatever makes you happy. but are you truly happy doing that? perhaps you think you would like that kind of life, but if you were to actually try it, you would get bored or just antsy after a while. you might start to feel empty and that void might to grow. you'll probably learn that greater happiness is found in serving God, and eventually be drawn to a more dedicated lifestyle. i often would like to just live like you describe, but the love and call to God eventually overshadows it. i think this is the basic theme of the Bible and from the greatest minds of our time.

if not religious or married, some are definitely called to single life. i'm thinking if marriage is not for you, then it's only when there is a serious reason that keeps you from joining a community that you are called to just be single. maybe a hermit?

in any case, you should get a spiritual director and also talk to a vocation director to help you gain clarity. discernment is like a journey deep into yourself and you'll find the answer to make you the happiest you can be in this life. God bless!

[Paddington]

Louisville Fan,

My original description was too vague and made it sound worse than I wanted it to.
[i]Then[/i] I asked you about judginess. Sorry.

Paddington

[Paddington]

WithoutHavingSeen,

Thanks for your answer. It did a lot for me. Maybe we can talk some time.

Paddington

[Paddington]

Thanks everybody. I love how the thread has turned out.

Anywho....I think Aloysius's first post was a probably a perfect Catholic answer, but I keep in mind that some of those people might seem to have unimpressive results. They might give a lot, but what if Joe with kids gives more and more effortlessly? What if they study and end up just teaching a few people?

I did put a lot of myself into the scenario. I'm not a Catholic however. I'm not even a Christian. Just a "seeker."
Anxiety and discontent had been getting at me so much when I wrote. Some things seem better now. Mostly that I'm just accepting that I don't have a perfect job or living situation and adapting to it.
If I convert, it probably won't be this year. Being busy is beating me up. (On a sick day today however. I have until the end of the day.)

If I were to convert or even if I don't, I might try the simple/quiet life for a year or two. It isn't that I don't want to marry, just that I don't and probably wouldn't have the money because of my own past decisions. That would be the main reason anyways. Might have to put extra time in my career and studying too. I love writing too, but it isn't my job and I haven't been doing it lately. Nothing against voluneering and giving either.

One thing to keep in mind would be the Mary vs. Martha story. I know a couple older Catholic ladies who chill a lot without a bunch of responsibilities, but they pray a lot too. They seem okay to me.
A small life, could be asked of various people. One example would be an old friend who recovered from alcoholism in his 40's and was a drifter. I don't think God asked him to take out a student loan and/or impregnate some pre-menopausal woman. God could've asked him for volunteer work, but not at the expense of doing his own laundry which he was not used to doing. The only thing about that example that I don't like is that nobody will disagree and somebody with a less extreme set of details might qualify for a simple life as well and they won't feel justified in it if all they hear about is recovering vagabonds and singles who are Church All-Stars.

Peace,
Paddington