Aloysius Posted October 6, 2007 Share Posted October 6, 2007 So if a woman is pursuing a career path which would involve 12 hrs/ day for 12 years after grad school, and being on call 24/7 (working at a psych hospital), it would seem that during that period in her life she should not pursue starting a family, correct? it would seem that such a carreer necesitates that type of sacrifice during that period in her life, right? -the currently single Aloysius Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Noel's angel Posted October 6, 2007 Share Posted October 6, 2007 I think so. Taking care of a family is a full-time job in itself. Although there's nothing to say that the husband couldn't take car of the children. I'm guessing by your signature that this situation isn't purely hypothetical? Prayers... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
XIX Posted October 6, 2007 Share Posted October 6, 2007 12/hours a day, yeah. I don't think she could effectively get through pregnancy that way, unless they allowed her to have maternity leave. Even then, she really wouldn't be able to raise a kid that way, unless you are okay with being the homemaker and letting her be the breadwinner. But as a dude, I really wouldn't want to grow up to be a wife. tah.. That is a tough spot to be in. I'm sorry, Al. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CrossCuT Posted October 6, 2007 Share Posted October 6, 2007 [size=1]Daycare? [/size] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Norseman82 Posted October 6, 2007 Share Posted October 6, 2007 Personally, I would not want to be in a position where I needed to work such hours for 12 years. Additionally, I imagine it would put a strain on a marriage even if there were no kids involved. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aloysius Posted October 6, 2007 Author Share Posted October 6, 2007 [quote name='CrossCuT' post='1398375' date='Oct 6 2007, 01:12 PM'][size=1]Daycare? [/size][/quote] pregnancy and infancy are not solved by that; moreover, nothing can substitute for the mother-child bond. not even the father-child bond, let alone the caregiver stranger-child bond. it's not that I would really mind not having the prestige of a job or of "being the breadwinner" or whatever, its that I honestly beleive that nothing can substitute for the mother-child bond, and this type of schedule is just completely destructive to the possibility of that. it seems like it would be irresponsible of a woman to try to start a family during a period like that in her life. [quote name='Norseman82' post='1398405' date='Oct 6 2007, 02:44 PM']Personally, I would not want to be in a position where I needed to work such hours for 12 years. Additionally, I imagine it would put a strain on a marriage even if there were no kids involved.[/quote] yeah, that too. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CrossCuT Posted October 6, 2007 Share Posted October 6, 2007 (edited) [quote name='Aloysius' post='1398406' date='Oct 6 2007, 01:48 PM']pregnancy and infancy are not solved by that; moreover, nothing can substitute for the mother-child bond. not even the father-child bond, let alone the caregiver stranger-child bond. it's not that I would really mind not having the prestige of a job or of "being the breadwinner" or whatever, its that I honestly beleive that nothing can substitute for the mother-child bond, and this type of schedule is just completely destructive to the possibility of that. it seems like it would be irresponsible of a woman to try to start a family during a period like that in her life. yeah, that too.[/quote] [size=1]Its not just having the child, but its also carrying it that is hard on the woman. Guys dont get sick, tired, and moody during a pregnancy because they arent the ones carrying the baby. I think all women would LOVE to be able to start a family and have a strong career at the same time, but it isnt always possible. There is a debate on whether or not career women with children are "bad mothers" because they dont spend enough time with their family like a mother should. Some women CAN juggle all the responsibilities but that entirely depends on the strength women and the requirements of her job. A family and a good career are both things we want to start sooner than later. The thought of having your first kid when you are 35 isnt that appealing to me...but neither does haveing no career (or putting a pause on it for 10 years) But we gotta choose.... [/size] Edited October 6, 2007 by CrossCuT Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missionseeker Posted October 6, 2007 Share Posted October 6, 2007 (edited) [quote name='CrossCuT' post='1398408' date='Oct 6 2007, 01:00 PM'][size=1]Its not just having the child, but its also carrying it that is hard on the woman. Guys dont get sick, tired, and moody during a pregnancy because they arent the ones carrying the baby. [/size][/quote] that's why he said that daycare didn't solve it... [quote]I think all women would LOVE to be able to start a family and have a strong career at the same time, but it isnt always possible. There is a debate on whether or not career women with children are "bad mothers" because they dont spend enough time with their family like a mother should. Some women CAN juggle all the responsibilities but that entirely depends on the strength women and the requirements of her job. A family and a good career are both things we want to start sooner than later. The thought of having your first kid when you are 35 isnt that appealing to me...but neither does haveing no career (or putting a pause on it for 10 years) But we gotta choose.... [/quote] You're making a sweeping generalization. I know quite a few girls (myself included) who do not have any desire to be a "career-woman" edit for clarification: this is not to say that women with careers are "bad" or even "not as strong" or whatever. I'm just saying, there are, indeed, those who really could care less about a career. Edited October 6, 2007 by missionseeker Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mortify Posted October 7, 2007 Share Posted October 7, 2007 aloy, How many hours a week would this lady be working? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
XIX Posted October 7, 2007 Share Posted October 7, 2007 [quote name='Aloysius' post='1398406' date='Oct 6 2007, 02:48 PM']pregnancy and infancy are not solved by that; moreover, nothing can substitute for the mother-child bond. not even the father-child bond, let alone the caregiver stranger-child bond. it's not that I would really mind not having the prestige of a job or of "being the breadwinner" or whatever, its that I honestly beleive that nothing can substitute for the mother-child bond, and this type of schedule is just completely destructive to the possibility of that. it seems like it would be irresponsible of a woman to try to start a family during a period like that in her life.[/quote] That's exactly what I meant to say. Thank you for proving your superior written eloquence. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CrossCuT Posted October 7, 2007 Share Posted October 7, 2007 [quote name='missionseeker' post='1398552' date='Oct 6 2007, 06:41 PM']that's why he said that daycare didn't solve it... You're making a sweeping generalization. I know quite a few girls (myself included) who do not have any desire to be a "career-woman"[/quote] [size=1]Please forgive me. Most. [/size] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kateri05 Posted October 7, 2007 Share Posted October 7, 2007 [quote]But as a dude, I really wouldn't want to grow up to be a wife. tah..[/quote] just because a father is at home with his children doesn't mean he is the wife. this is beyond rude and judgemental. my husband is a writer and as a result is already home, trying to make money, and because it is necessary for our family that i continue to work after the baby is born, he will be caring for our little one. he is STILL the husband, he still wears pants, he is still head of the family, etc etc. personally, i think mom at home when babies are young is the ideal because, yes, i'm with al, both spiritually and biologically the mom-baby bond is a huge deal. however, next best thing, equals father care. after all, he did contribute half. as for your situation, al, it does sound a bit dismal how many hours a week would she be working? because being on call is different from being stuck at work.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
littleflower+JMJ Posted October 7, 2007 Share Posted October 7, 2007 He said 12 hour shifts to the ppl who are asking about times...which are killers because my bro works those and they are sorry. Every woman I've talked to in the job industry usually dislikes daycare for their kids and wants to be a stay-at home mom. But it is usually after that they say they should have married a business man instead of an art teacher in order for that to happen. Me....I just want to be an overly educated housewife. But your right Al, thats no job schedule that would allow proper upbringing...there are so many things that only a mother could do for their child that makes things difficult. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
XIX Posted October 7, 2007 Share Posted October 7, 2007 (edited) [quote name='kateri05' post='1398642' date='Oct 6 2007, 11:23 PM']just because a father is at home with his children doesn't mean he is the wife. this is beyond rude and judgemental. my husband is a writer and as a result is already home, trying to make money, and because it is necessary for our family that i continue to work after the baby is born, he will be caring for our little one. he is STILL the husband, he still wears pants, he is still head of the family, etc etc. personally, i think mom at home when babies are young is the ideal because, yes, i'm with al, both spiritually and biologically the mom-baby bond is a huge deal. however, next best thing, equals father care. after all, he did contribute half. as for your situation, al, it does sound a bit dismal how many hours a week would she be working? because being on call is different from being stuck at work....[/quote] Please read the whole thread...please? You are responding to a post that I later clarified. And even then, I think it was very clear that I was not referring to dudes who have a job and work out of home. And I find it ironic that you just called me judgmental... Edited October 7, 2007 by XIX Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
XIX Posted October 7, 2007 Share Posted October 7, 2007 [quote name='XIX' post='1398359' date='Oct 6 2007, 12:34 PM']12/hours a day, yeah. I don't think she could effectively get through pregnancy that way, unless they allowed her to have maternity leave. Even then, she really wouldn't be able to raise a kid that way, unless you are okay with being the homemaker and letting her be the breadwinner. But as a dude, I really wouldn't want to grow up to be a wife. tah.. That is a tough spot to be in. I'm sorry, Al.[/quote] Probably should have spent a lot more time on this post before I actually posted it. Either than or just shut my yap. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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