Annullments

[friendofJPII]

"In some cases they literally go to confession on Saturday and then to mass on Sunday for the rest of their married life. "

Yes, but then wouldn't the sacrament of penance be invalid? In order to receive absolution you must have firm purpose of ammendment....if you know you are going to commit and confess the same sin next Sat, what's the point? And I was under the assumption that we are not supposed to even date until the annullment is granted. Is that true? I've heard differing opinions..I suppose it is different story if the couple is already in a psuedo-type marriage with children (we would be breaking up a family here) rather than a couple that just wants to start dating.

I will PM you with the particulars based on what he told me, which is of course-one sided but could be helpful. thanks.

Edited October 2, 2007 by friendofJPII

[CatherineM]

That was my first thought too that the confession wouldn't be valid, but the priest basically told me that the church is a hospital for sinners, not a waiting room for saints, and sometimes priests kind of give people who made mistakes when they were young a break and a clean start. Priests have a lot of leeway in the confessional. As for dating, it kind of depends on what you consider dating. If you are just providing companionship to each other at this point, I don't think it is adultery, but that is something that you should take up with your priest. If he says it's okay, then it is okay.

[XIX]

[quote name='friendofJPII' post='1396190' date='Oct 1 2007, 08:32 PM']"Jesus, have mercy on me, a whiner!"

I love it, did you make that up or steal it from a conference?[/quote]
It just came to my head during Adoration. It's kinda true, especially with regards to internal complaining.

[prose]

[quote name='XIX' post='1396075' date='Oct 1 2007, 02:54 PM']I think very few marriages are actually valid to begin with, so it doesn't surprise me that the Church hand out annulments like they're name tags.
Wow. That's harsh. But that's what I think.[/quote]

Me too.

[quote name='friendofJPII' post='1396192' date='Oct 1 2007, 06:39 PM']What's the average time? a year? I must confess that I am in love with a man who is divorced without an annullment, actually he is not officially divorced yet, they just filed. This is so difficult, I feel like I am to attached to break it off, yet I do not feel peace in my heart or in prayer. I've been to confession 4 times and only one priest had enough guts to tell me the truth. One priest said the relationship was fine, that I was not sinning, and to tell him all the good things I've done to help humanity instead. The rest said to "search my heart!" I didn't mean for this to happen, I've been a rather orthodox, Catholic young adult for some time now after my conversion, and now I'm in a real pickle. I love this man, he loves me. But I also know that I'm aiding and abieting someone in the act of adultrey. (we are not having sex but still....)

Phatmassers, help! I need some encouragement to do what I know I need to do.[/quote]

You sound like a friend of mine. I pray for her all the time. Hopefully God has a positive plan for you and your partner.

Encourage him to be prepared for the annulment. To have his papers and information together. Pray with him. Remain chaste in your relationship.

Got has called us to love each other, and by that it means doing constantly whatever is best for each other. Remember that. If doing what is best for your partners sould is to pray for and with him, and to help him through this, than do it. If it is to back off, do that. Keep what is best for him in your heart, and expect the same from him. If he isn't doing what is best for you, then it isn't love.

[photosynthesis]

[quote name='friendofJPII' post='1396192' date='Oct 1 2007, 08:39 PM']I need some encouragement to do what I know I need to do.[/quote]
Take some time away from your relationship with this man and pray. In the eyes of the Church, he is a married man, joined to his wife until death. No matter how ridiculous the circumstances of their marriage seem to him (or you), an annulment is not guaranteed. A married person must take special care to guard his or her heart and remain faithful even when their spouse is unfaithful. Unless this man is granted an annulment by the Church, he is called to live out his married vocation.

Try to see him the way the Church sees him. Being in love changes how you see a person, and that is a good thing. However, our emotions must always be guided by right reason, and we must be careful not to let our emotions take us places where our minds would dare not go.