Retreats: What Do You Look For?

[Faustina]

[quote name='Sister Rose Therese' post='1394131' date='Sep 27 2007, 12:41 PM'][b][font="Verdana"][font="Verdana"][font="Arial"] OK, so I’ve noticed that many vocation sites and some religious community sites have online retreats. [/font]


I did an online retreat once and I was very into it. I spent much time reflecting on what I needed to to complete during the retreat and then became very sick with the flu. It wasn't like I was deliberately trying to get out of the retreat or anything I was so excited about doing it, in fact I sent in my reflections late. Well, I got a real nasty email from the vocation director that the retreat was OVER and that I had neglected to pay mind to the deadlines established. She also said I couldn't continue and that I was already behind and she didn't have time to read late reflections, etc. etc...

Needless to say, I was so taken aback by that. I had still worked on some reflections when I was not sleeping and felt better and had still tried to make an effort. However, I was soooo sick and it was like she was angry with me.

The reaction from that sister still lies within me and I have ceased contact with that particular community because of that scenario. So whatever you do, be patient with us young folks. Sometimes we have school, tons of coursework, papers due, a lot to get done, other projects, jobs and we sometimes get sick!

At least allow the young women to continue should they fall behind. Or try and understand the situation before just saying to them that they cannot continue.

Peace and all good!
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Edited October 2, 2007 by Faustina

[Sister Rose Therese]

[quote name='Faustina' post='1396289' date='Oct 1 2007, 10:12 PM'][/quote]
What a strange reaction.
So for this online retreat you had to write and submit your reflections to them?
That isn't what I expected. I had assumed that these on-line retreats were more something that was just on the web for people to look at, or something like that.

[Sister Rose Therese]

I'd just like to thank you all for your input. It is good to see that for the most part the things you are looking for in a retreat are pretty much the same. It will be a great help as we start our planning.
God bless and keep you.

[maggiesprayer]

[quote name='Sister Rose Therese' post='1394131' date='Sep 27 2007, 06:41 PM'][b][font="Verdana"][font="Verdana"][font="Arial"] OK, so I’ve noticed that many vocation sites and some religious community sites have online retreats. [/font]

[font="Arial"][font="Arial"][font="Arial"][font="Arial"][/font][/font][list]
[*]Have any of you ever tried them?[/font]
yes i have tried a few
[/list][font="Arial"][font="Arial"][/font][list]
[*]Have you found them helpful?[/font]
a little
[/list][font="Arial"][font="Arial"][/font][list]
[*]What kinds of things do you like in them?[/font]
how they draw you into the presence of christ
[/list][/font][font="Arial"][/font]

[font="Arial"]Then there is also the matter of discernment retreats and "Come and See" weekends. [/font][font="Arial"]What are your preferences there?[/font]
come and see or combined

[font="Arial"][font="Arial"][/font][list]
[*]Do you like silent retreats with plenty of time for adoration?[/font]
yes but only if that is what i am going for
[/list][font="Arial"][font="Arial"][/font][list]
[*]Do you look for conferences and speakers, and if so, what kind?[/font] i like speakers religious ones, and ones that draw me into reflection not just thelogy
[/list][font="Arial"][font="Arial"][/font][list]
[*]Do you prefer having time with the Sisters following their usual routine?[/font]
yes this is the best way to get to know the community
[/list][font="Arial"][font="Arial"][/font][list]
[*]Do you look for plenty of time to meet and speak with the Sisters?[/font]
yes that would be very helpful
[/list][font="Arial"][font="Arial"][/font][list]
[*]Do you like to have some fun or social activities?[/font]
only a little recreation but not too much
[/list][font="Arial"][font="Arial"][/font][list]
[*]With working around work and/or school, how long a retreat could you attend?[/font]
one week perhaps two
[/list][font="Arial"][font="Arial"][/font][list]
[*]When would you be able to attend a retreat?[/font]
anytime except december
[/list][font="Arial"][font="Arial"][/font][list]
[*]How far would you travel to attend such a retreat?[/font]
for the right place distance does not come into it
[/list][font="Arial"][font="Arial"][/font][list]
[*]Is there anything thing that you really look for in a retreat, or anything you have really found to be lacking in discernment retreats?
lacking sometime getting to know the community as they are daily
[/list]This worked so well with the brochure, I thought I'd try it again. I'd appreciate any input you can give me one this.
Thanks and God bless[/font] god bless margaret

[/font][/b][/font][/quote]

[maggiesprayer]

[quote name='Sister Rose Therese' post='1394131' date='Sep 27 2007, 06:41 PM'][b][font="Verdana"][font="Verdana"][font="Arial"] OK, so I’ve noticed that many vocation sites and some religious community sites have online retreats. [/font]

[font="Arial"][font="Arial"][font="Arial"][font="Arial"][/font][/font][list]
[*]Have any of you ever tried them?[/font]
yes i have tried a few
[/list][font="Arial"][font="Arial"][/font][list]
[*]Have you found them helpful?[/font]
a little
[/list][font="Arial"][font="Arial"][/font][list]
[*]What kinds of things do you like in them?[/font]
how they draw you into the presence of christ
[/list][/font][font="Arial"][/font]

[font="Arial"]Then there is also the matter of discernment retreats and "Come and See" weekends. [/font][font="Arial"]What are your preferences there?[/font]
come and see or combined

[font="Arial"][font="Arial"][/font][list]
[*]Do you like silent retreats with plenty of time for adoration?[/font]
yes but only if that is what i am going for
[/list][font="Arial"][font="Arial"][/font][list]
[*]Do you look for conferences and speakers, and if so, what kind?[/font] i like speakers religious ones, and ones that draw me into reflection not just thelogy
[/list][font="Arial"][font="Arial"][/font][list]
[*]Do you prefer having time with the Sisters following their usual routine?[/font]
yes this is the best way to get to know the community
[/list][font="Arial"][font="Arial"][/font][list]
[*]Do you look for plenty of time to meet and speak with the Sisters?[/font]
yes that would be very helpful
[/list][font="Arial"][font="Arial"][/font][list]
[*]Do you like to have some fun or social activities?[/font]
only a little recreation but not too much
[/list][font="Arial"][font="Arial"][/font][list]
[*]With working around work and/or school, how long a retreat could you attend?[/font]
one week perhaps two
[/list][font="Arial"][font="Arial"][/font][list]
[*]When would you be able to attend a retreat?[/font]
anytime except december
[/list][font="Arial"][font="Arial"][/font][list]
[*]How far would you travel to attend such a retreat?[/font]
for the right place distance does not come into it
[/list][font="Arial"][font="Arial"][/font][list]
[*]Is there anything thing that you really look for in a retreat, or anything you have really found to be lacking in discernment retreats?
lacking sometime getting to know the community as they are daily
[/list]This worked so well with the brochure, I thought I'd try it again. I'd appreciate any input you can give me one this.
Thanks and God bless[/font] god bless margaret

[/font][/b][/font][/quote]

[Sister Rose Therese]

Thanks for taking the time to answer all my questions.
makes sense, and I probably would have answered in a similar way when I was discernig the religious life. Now all that remains is do something with the information I have received.
It was a lot easier to just ask the questions.

[Guest Perpetualove]

Dear Sister,

[i]I hope I'm not too late in giving you some feedback from my retreat experiences.[/i]

OK, so I’ve noticed that many vocation sites and some religious community sites have online retreats.
[i]Yes, I have done online retreats.[/i]

Have any of you ever tried them? [i]Yes.[/i]


Have you found them helpful? [i]Yes.[/i]


What kinds of things do you like in them? [i]I like the privacy factor, the ability to reflect and discern without any pressure from an individual (like a Vocation Mistress...I have to admit that I have continued discernment with a community in the past because I liked the Vocation Mistress so much and was afraid to tell her that I didn't feel called to her community). I have also liked the freedom to share my experiences and ongoing responses with my Spiritual Director (as opposed to waiting for the retreat to be over).[/i]

Then there is also the matter of discernment retreats and "Come and See" weekends. What are your preferences there?[i] I like both.[/i]

Do you like silent retreats with plenty of time for adoration? [i]It depends upon the situation. If I am traveling, and am interested (or think I am) in a community, I would prefer to meet the community, experience the life, and open myself up to the possibility of a future with the Order. Obviously, silent time is necessary no matter what, but I can have silent time and adoration within my "normal" schedule, and again, depending upon the distance and how serious I am, I have (in the past) felt like I need take advantage of being with the Sisters and soaking up as much as possible within the community life. [/i]


Do you look for conferences and speakers, and if so, what kind? [i]I have always enjoyed hearing vocation stories, seeing the different works of the Order (if they are active) and learning about their history. These kinds of speakers have been the most important to me.[/i]

Do you prefer having time with the Sisters following their usual routine? [i]Again, this would depend upon how much time I have and how well I know the community. If it's a "Come and See," not as much as if it were an actual discernment retreat. I have always appreciated it, though, when going on a retreat at a Motherhouse, receiving a schedule of the routine so in the event one needs to break away (or wants to) to join in prayer, or silent adoration, that is available. I have always greatly appreciated being treated like an adult and given options as to how to use my time.[/i]

Do you look for plenty of time to meet and speak with the Sisters? [i]Yes! Always! For me, this is one of the only ways to really determine the charism of the community and if I should consider moving forward![/i]


Do you like to have some fun or social activities? [i]I have enjoyed social activities, and I think it's a great break during what can be an intense time of prayer and deep thought. It is great to know that others are in the same boat and having fun can really engender a sense of support...which is so important![/i]

With working around work and/or school, how long a retreat could you attend? [i]The longest retreat I have ever been on was an eight day retreat.[/i]

When would you be able to attend a retreat? [i]I work full time, so in the past, I have mixed retreats in with holidays. Also, weekends are great.[/i]

How far would you travel to attend such a retreat? [i]Like someone above me, I have gone out of the country (twice) for a retreat experience. I am very willing to travel![/i]

Is there anything thing that you really look for in a retreat, or anything you have really found to be lacking in discernment retreats? [i]I have done the best on retreats (like I said before) where the schedule is somewhat flexible and I am treated as an adult. I have gone on a couple of retreats at cloistered Monasteries, and since usually I have been alone, the retreat experience has been tailored to meet my needs, and discussed before and during with the Novice Mistress (or the Vocation Mistress). While this seems impossible (perhaps) for an active order to offer this kind of flexibility, I have experienced it as well (as an example...receiving the schedule of the retired Sisters at the Motherhouse so one can slip away and join in if the mood hits!). I have appreciated being given a little extra time to sleep (especially when traveling!) and alone time. The BEST retreat I ever went on was at a Carmelite Monastery, and I have to admit...siesta time was a huge hit! As I said before, thinking, discerning, praying, learning, meeting new faces, etc...can all be very exhausting and just having a little break to absorb is really important. I have been on retreats where I felt like I was being brainwashed - with constant talks, stimulation, slide shows, sing-a-longs, prayer services, tours, etc. . In addition to not leaving any room for God, it made me feel like I was being "sold to," which was a horrible feeling. I believe that God's plan for all of us - His invitation - unfolds gently and beautifully. I hated feeling "pushed, rushed, sold." I have had the experience of knowing...immediately...that the community wasn't "the one" for me, and yet (of course), I stayed for the retreat. It was so great to know that the Sisters valued me as a person, were willing to share their vocation stories, and support my search lovingly (as opposed to being an object of recruitment that can happen as well). The Sisters who shared their spirituality and lives with me made a huge impact in my world, and I am forever grateful for their display of Christian witness. Lastly, I went on a retreat once, and the Saturday night (traditionally the last "night" for weekend retreats) we (the girls in discernment) were given beautiful envelopes from the Vocation Mistress. They were stuffed full of personal cards from the Sisters in the community, telling me how they had been praying for me for the two weeks leading up to the retreat, how much they supported me, how much they wanted to ask God's grace for me as I carried on my path. Many of the notes thanked me for being open to God's voice and for the willingness to acknowledge that religious life might be my path. I didn't feel pressured or pushed by any of them. That was a beautiful retreat, and it made a lasting impression, and I recommend that for future. (Also, some of the Sisters gave me their addresses/email addresses and were very open about communication.) It was lovely.[/i]

[Sister Rose Therese]

Thanks so much for taking the time to reply to this. You have some very good input.