Retreats: What Do You Look For?

[Sister Rose Therese]

[b][font="Verdana"][font="Verdana"][font="Arial"] OK, so I’ve noticed that many vocation sites and some religious community sites have online retreats. [/font]

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[*]Have any of you ever tried them?[/font]
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[*]Have you found them helpful?[/font]
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[*]What kinds of things do you like in them?[/font]
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[font="Arial"]Then there is also the matter of discernment retreats and "Come and See" weekends. [/font][font="Arial"]What are your preferences there?[/font]

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[*]Do you like silent retreats with plenty of time for adoration?[/font]
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[*]Do you look for conferences and speakers, and if so, what kind?[/font]
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[*]Do you prefer having time with the Sisters following their usual routine?[/font]
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[*]Do you look for plenty of time to meet and speak with the Sisters?[/font]
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[*]Do you like to have some fun or social activities?[/font]
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[*]With working around work and/or school, how long a retreat could you attend?[/font]
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[*]When would you be able to attend a retreat?[/font]
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[*]How far would you travel to attend such a retreat?[/font]
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[*]Is there anything thing that you really look for in a retreat, or anything you have really found to be lacking in discernment retreats?
[/list]This worked so well with the brochure, I thought I'd try it again. I'd appreciate any input you can give me one this.
Thanks and God bless[/font]

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[cmaD2006]

[quote name='Sister Rose Therese' post='1394131' date='Sep 27 2007, 01:41 PM']Then there is also the matter of discernment retreats and "Come and See" weekends. What are your preferences there[list]
[*]Do you like silent retreats with plenty of time for adoration?
[/list][/quote]
It depends on the length of the retreat -- if it is a short retreat then some time for adoration is important, however time with the Sisters is key.

[quote name='Sister Rose Therese' post='1394131' date='Sep 27 2007, 01:41 PM'][list]
[*]Do you look for conferences and speakers, and if so, what kind?
[/list][/quote]

Not necessarily -- there should be an intro to religious life; what the evangelical counsels are about; what the community is about, etc.

[quote name='Sister Rose Therese' post='1394131' date='Sep 27 2007, 01:41 PM'][list]
[*]Do you prefer having time with the Sisters following their usual routine?
[/list][/quote]

Following the sister's routine is a key thing. It gives me a good idea of what life would be like as a religious.

[quote name='Sister Rose Therese' post='1394131' date='Sep 27 2007, 01:41 PM'][list]
[*]Do you look for plenty of time to meet and speak with the Sisters?
[/list][/quote]
Hmm. On the second trip maybe? It really depends. Again if the retreat is a short weekend then some time to speak with the sisters is important. However some of the interaction should happen during the daily routine.

[quote name='Sister Rose Therese' post='1394131' date='Sep 27 2007, 01:41 PM'][list]
[*]Do you like to have some fun or social activities?
[/list][/quote]
Recreation with the sisters is good -- but not necessarily a "fun/social" activity.

[quote name='Sister Rose Therese' post='1394131' date='Sep 27 2007, 01:41 PM'][list]
[*]With working around work and/or school, how long a retreat could you attend?
[/list][/quote]
A week is the longest (Friday to the following sunday). But I work full time so that's different than going to school.

[quote name='Sister Rose Therese' post='1394131' date='Sep 27 2007, 01:41 PM'][list]
[*]When would you be able to attend a retreat?
[/list][/quote]
Spring break (for those going to school) is good. Otherwise I tend to be very flexible in planning when to do a retreat -- I've used my christmas break time (I have a week off of work) to visit a community (even though it meant not being with family at christmas)

[quote name='Sister Rose Therese' post='1394131' date='Sep 27 2007, 01:41 PM'][list]
[*]How far would you travel to attend such a retreat?
[/list][/quote]
(I'm not typical -- I travelled to Argentina to visit a community I had only communicated with via email ... I travel anywhere that I can afford to go to)

[quote name='Sister Rose Therese' post='1394131' date='Sep 27 2007, 01:41 PM'][list]
[*]Is there anything thing that you really look for in a retreat, or anything you have really found to be lacking in discernment retreats?
[/list][/quote]
There's a difference between a discernment retreat that is focused on a particular community, and a discernment retreat to see if you're called to religious life. I think both types of retreats are needed.

[quote name='Sister Rose Therese' post='1394131' date='Sep 27 2007, 01:41 PM']This worked so well with the brochure, I thought I'd try it again. I'd appreciate any input you can give me one this.
Thanks and God bless[/quote]

Sorry for the brevity -- and I hope I made sense. I didn't have too much time to think about my answers but I hope this helps. Good luck and sending lots of blessings and graces your way.

[Sister Rose Therese]

No No, that is all very helpful! Thank you for taking the time to answer!
It is hard to balance the length of time with trying to get everything in, so it is really helpful to know what people find most helpful.

[VeniteAdoremus]

What I find important in retreats is 1. time with God and 2. time with the Sisters. You'll need both. So Adoration is a must.

During a retreat I was on we got lucky because it was a feast day (two sisters had their Golden Profession) and we were allowed in community recreation (normally, even the noviciate recreates separately). During the weekend we mostly saw only the vocation directress, but because of that recreation, we'd really gotten to know the sisters a bit and got to see how they interact, which was nice. Also very nice: helping with the dishes. Although I heard later that the sisters normally don't speak during work. I must have given them headaches!

Personally, I love conferences (knowledge! yesss!) but usually when you're on a [i]vocation[/i] retreat I think that's not the most important thing.

[cathoholic_anonymous]

I've never even heard of online retreats, so I can't give input about those, but I will answer your other questions.

I have been on retreats with cloistered Carmelites, where we followed the pattern of their day almost exactly. That was extremely helpful, as it showed me what it is to live the Carmelite life rather than just to read about it. Each retreat was three days long, which felt like a perfect length to me - it fits in neatly with the college timetable and it wasn't long enough to be too overwhelming.

We departed slightly from the Carmelite schedule in the afternoon, when we had an hour-long talk/discussion that was led by three of the sisters. (The prioress, the novice mistress, and another sister.) One of the talks was on prayer. Another was on the sacraments. The third was on discipleship. Only the third talk was explicitly about vocation, but all of them were useful.

One thing that the nuns did that really helped was to lay out a selection of spiritual reading and invite us to choose one or two books for the duration of the retreat. Most of the reading was Carmelite in spirituality. We had forty-five minutes per day in our cells with these books. It is good to provide something for retreatants to read, something to give direction to their thoughts. You could do this with a selection of Bible passages as well.

Sharing in community recreation was more than enough social time for me, but if you have a gaggle of retreatants staying they might appreciate the chance to get together and make friends. As for speaking to individual sisters, that is always helpful, but it is often good to set a time limit at the outset. They had to do this in the Carmel because of the rigid structure of the day, but it had another use as well - it meant that we spent more time on our knees in front of the Tabernacle praying vocation than sitting in the novitiate talking about it.

[Sister Rose Therese]

OK, so to summarize your suggestions so far.
[quote]Do you like silent retreats with plenty of time for
adoration?[/quote]
Time for silent adoration but not necessarilty a silent retreat.

[quote]Do you look for conferences and speakers, and if so, what
kind?[/quote]
a few simple conferences by the Sisters

[quote]Do you prefer having time with the Sisters following their usual
routine?[/quote]
Definite yes

[quote]Do you look for plenty of time to meet and speak with the
Sisters?[/quote]
Some time with Sisters is important, but during the normal course of the day and in regular recreation is sufficient.

[quote]Do you like to have some fun or social activities?[/quote]
Normal recreation is sufficient

[quote]With working around work and/or school, how long a retreat could you
attend?[/quote]
Max. 1 week 3 days preferable

[quote]When would you be able to attend a retreat?[/quote]
spring break possibly

[quote]How far would you travel to attend such a retreat?[/quote]
I guess that depends on your interest, time and resources

[quote]Is there anything thing that you really look for in a retreat, or anything
you have really found to be lacking in discernment retreats?[/quote]
Suggestion: Have books for retreatants to choose from to use for their spiritual reading for the length of the retreat.

[Gemma]

Contact the St. Cecilia Dominicans in Nashville. I attended 5 Jesu Caritas retreats in the course of discernment, and they were all basically the same--Supper on Friday to Lunch on Sunday, with different themes, free time, conferences, etc.

Blessings,
Gemma

[fides quarens intellectum]

personally, i think it is important to offer both "Come and See" retreats for those discerning religious life and the community, and unstructured retreats where for those further in their discernment who are discerning the actual community - thus, more time in prayer and with the sisters in their daily routine.

[HeavenlyCalling]

[*]Do you like silent retreats with plenty of time for adoration?[/font]
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Some silence is good, and Adoration is a must have,even if it is only for a short time[list]
[*]Do you look for conferences and speakers, and if so, what kind?[/font]
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I think having a few of the sisters get up and talk is enough. Things like the vows, the life, the call are all good things to cover[list]
[*]Do you prefer having time with the Sisters following their usual routine?[/font]
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YES!!!!!! Or at least some of it, like the prayers, it really gets you into it.[list]
[*]Do you look for plenty of time to meet and speak with the Sisters?[/font]
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yes, like eating meals with them or having time to socialize, it helps us to realize that they are real people, and ask them about their lives. [list]
[*]Do you like to have some fun or social activities?[/font]
yes, but not a ton of time
[/list][font="Arial"][font="Arial"][/font][list]
[*]With working around work and/or school, how long a retreat could you attend?[/font]
[/list][font="Arial"][font="Arial"][/font]
a week at most[list]
[*]When would you be able to attend a retreat?[/font]
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summer, school vacations
[list]
[*]How far would you travel to attend such a retreat?[/font]
anywhere I could fly


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[Sister Rose Therese]

Oh good,
Thank you all so much.
But don't stop!
It is good that most of you seem to be in agreement about the main points. That should help us a lot.
Yes, I'll have to ask the Nashville Dominicans about there retreats. Good idea.

It also seems that the online retreat thing seems to be more of a fad than anything else. (Correct me if I'm wrong.)

[cathoholic_anonymous]

I don't really understand how it is possible to have an online retreat. I'm intrigued to know what they are and how they work.

[VeniteAdoremus]

I could never participate in an online retreat - I have three mathematician roommates and only one broom closet to lock them up in!

[Sister Rose Therese]

Well they have them on the vocationnetwork site (the Vision guide site) and also the IRL site I think. There were also a few communities that had them. One of the groups thatwe have an ad with, and it might have been Vision, asked whether we had that.
I haven't sat down to atually give it a try yet. I don't really understand how you could have a retreat that way myself, but..

[Sister Rose Therese]

[quote name='VeniteAdoremus' post='1394714' date='Sep 28 2007, 10:02 AM']I could never participate in an online retreat - I have three mathematician roommates and only one broom closet to lock them up in![/quote]

If you give them a good proof to work out them might forget you're there.

[VeniteAdoremus]

[quote name='Sister Rose Therese' post='1394736' date='Sep 28 2007, 05:42 PM']If you give them a good proof to work out them might forget you're there.[/quote]

That's an excellent suggestion. I'll try it sometime!