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I Dont Like Words Anymore


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[quote name='prose' post='1390121' date='Sep 21 2007, 06:06 PM']My husband an I recently decided to take all sarcasm out of conversations[/quote]
[size=1]I would die without sarcasm. :mellow:
[/size]

[quote name='Rod' post='1390699' date='Sep 22 2007, 01:10 PM']7% of communication are the words
53% is body language and
40% is tone of voice.

Words on their own are often too black and white, without the intonation, the whole picture we often find written words too harsh.[/quote]
[size=1]I 100% agree.
The same sentance can mean SO many things if you simple change the tone or body language.
Sometimes its more important to pay attention to HOW they say something.
[/size]

Edited by CrossCuT
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[quote name='Rod' post='1390699' date='Sep 22 2007, 02:10 PM']7% of communication are the words
53% is body language and
40% is tone of voice.

Words on their own are often too black and white, without the intonation, the whole picture we often find written words too harsh.[/quote]
Hmmm

Well











yeah. true.

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My 2 cents. Words can make somebody a genuine victim and change the course of their life in a way that might not be known to them. Not just aggravating words, but also misguided advice.

About non-verbal cues...

Body language is something I don't grasp too well unfortunately. At least half of "body language" in my definition is facial expressions. The words themselves seem like the goal, and I want people to just interpret my words. The reality isn't that simple, so I just have to adjust (without too many clues unfortunately.) I used to resent the importance of non-verbal cues, but the less I resented them, the better I got at them (not sure how either.)

The part of me that still resists the importance put on body language is still saying that good body language can cover a sin, while bad body language can cover a good deed.

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Proud2BCatholic139

[quote name='prose' post='1390121' date='Sep 21 2007, 05:06 PM']It happens in real life too. My husband an I recently decided to take all sarcasm out of conversations because sometimes, without even us realizing it, someone gets offended.

Which led to us deciding not to be sarcastic with one another either.

It is interesting how much of a difference it has made.[/quote]

My boyfriend does not understand when I am sarcastic, and that is my humor the majority of the time...either way, I am not sarcastic when I talk with him. I can be sarcastic when I am mad, or just not in the mood...But, I have recently become better on not being sarcastic.

:mellow:

Lord Jesus, please help me.

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Sarcasm is the lowest form of wit or is it?

Sarcasm is said to be a low form of humour as its intent is generally to get laughs at someone else's expense. The pointed humour may not be funny to the victim but its funny to those who understand the barb as it feeds their intellectual egos. This is because sarcasm is a form of humour that is known to require the highest functions of our brains. Areas of the brain that decipher sarcasm and irony also process language, recognise emotions and help understand social cues. Sarcasm is related to our ability to understand other people's mental state so it's not just a linguistic form, it's also related to social cognition.

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[quote name='CrossCuT' post='1390716' date='Sep 22 2007, 12:43 PM'][size=1]I would die without sarcasm. :mellow:
[/size]
[size=1]I 100% agree.
[/size][/quote]

We aren't giving up humor, just insulting sarcasm :rolleyes:

Here is why - hypothetical to demonstrate:

Hubby makes a sarcastic remark about wife. Everyone laughs - even wife.
Next time husband does something wonky, wife makes sarcastic joke, everyone laughs including husband.
Wife is feeling down one day husband makes another joke sarcastically. Everyone laughs but husband doesn't realize that his wife is a little offended. She carries that with her suddenly.
Wife starts making more cutting sarcastic remarks because she is hurt. Everyone laughs, her husband is starting to feel picked on.
Husband starts to be hurt, and he turns up the dial also.
Wife gets more hurt.

And the cycle continues.

Another situation (true story):

My brother and his tiny, skinny wife are over for dinner. Our father brings in this GIGANTIC steak from the BBQ. He asks who wants it. I say "give it to 'sister in law' she eats like a bear", sister in law looks at me and starts crying. I had no idea why. Apparently her husband made a fat joke earlier, and she was really hurt by it, and I made it worse because I was being sarcastically witty.

Sarcasm looks gentle on the surface, but it very quickly gets out of hand. You never know when you may accidentally hurt someone or say something that stick with them for a long long time. ESPECIALLY when you say it around people that you may never see again or have a chance to clarify with.

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My mother used to have this saying:

[i]Sticks and stones
May break my bones
But words will never
Hurt me[/i]

Sorry Mom, but words [b][/b]DO[b][/b] hurt. I've seen so many people who were given words of hurt at a vulnerable time in their lives that really kicked them into the mud. How much more uplifting is it to give words of encouragement and hope? Yes, the Internet has become a breeding ground of horrible, horrible words used in hurtful ways, all from the safety and comfort of your home or office. It is a coward's delight! You can dish out the most vile things about people and you never have to look them in the eye.

I hope and pray that as we develop new ways to communicate that we do so in the spirit of Jesus, that we use our words to help and comfort and not to hurt.

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Not to mention, if sticks and stones actually breaks your bones, then you probably have some brittle bones to begin with. I'm pretty sure than a twig or a bunch of pebbles would not cause me to fracture anything. I think most people are in the same boat. :mellow:

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