XIX Posted September 21, 2007 Share Posted September 21, 2007 I just had somebody make a comment to me in passing. It was on a message board that I signed up for to ask a question. The response included a rather insulting remark that seriously struck a nerve of mine. It may very well be the case that I am overreacting and that I shouldn't let something like this get to me. However, I am in a fragile state of mind and my emotions are essentially out of my control. How I react to them is controllable, but if I'm not happy, I'm not happy. "Happy is a yuppie word." I do have a point. We really need to be careful about the words we choose. It's scary how they can affect others. One insulting, condescending, or rude comment can send someone into a tailspin for days, and it's possible for those words to affect the rest of that person's life. We also have to be careful about what we say over the internet. It's twice as easy to take something personally when it is written and not spoken. It's also about five times as easy to say something that you normally wouldn't say to anyone's face. It would be easy for someone to look at a comment saying that XIX "doesn't have a clue" and not think it's a big deal. But the comment was far more audacious than I can recall anyone ever acting towards me in real life. People either don't have the spine to say something to another person's face, or they think they have the privilege to bash others as much as they feel like. They act like they are talking to worthless words on a screen. It's deceptive. It's dangerous. It doesn't seem like a big deal, usually. But it is. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
knightec Posted September 21, 2007 Share Posted September 21, 2007 Words only have the power that you give them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
XIX Posted September 21, 2007 Author Share Posted September 21, 2007 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Church Punk Posted September 21, 2007 Share Posted September 21, 2007 Holy cow, my fiancé and I were just having a discussion like this and how it seems that every time I simply try to have a normal debate or I attempt to correct or instruct someone, they end up going into a psycho fit and take it so much to the heart that the are angry with me for months. It seems to happen whenever I am talking with anyone about religion. I have more to vent about, but I don’t want to hi-jack your thread, so I will start my own. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Theoketos Posted September 21, 2007 Share Posted September 21, 2007 Just relax. Blessed are those who... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Groo the Wanderer Posted September 21, 2007 Share Posted September 21, 2007 poopy head Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Totus Tuus Posted September 21, 2007 Share Posted September 21, 2007 I'm on the opposite spectrum as XIX. Currently I am frustrated with someone who comes to his own conclusions about what I say to him, goes to other people to find out, and makes up his mind without asking [i]me[/i] to clarify if he doesn't understand. Grr! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CoffeeCatholic Posted September 21, 2007 Share Posted September 21, 2007 [quote]Just relax. Blessed are those who...[/quote] [quote]poopy head[/quote] yup- that's how i read it :-D in this case, words are hilarious! but yeah, i know what you mean. we all have to be careful with the words we throw around. I'm afraid i've scandalized and upset someone recently for a word i used to describe him. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
prose Posted September 21, 2007 Share Posted September 21, 2007 It happens in real life too. My husband an I recently decided to take all sarcasm out of conversations because sometimes, without even us realizing it, someone gets offended. Which led to us deciding not to be sarcastic with one another either. It is interesting how much of a difference it has made. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lil Red Posted September 21, 2007 Share Posted September 21, 2007 That's a great idea, prose. i think i'm giving up sarcasm for Lent next year. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CoffeeCatholic Posted September 22, 2007 Share Posted September 22, 2007 yeah, i had a friend who wrote an entire paper on the effects of misplaced sarcasm- or misunderstood, or misintentioned or whatever- on relationships. If you're not 100% on the same page it can be devastating Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
abercius24 Posted September 22, 2007 Share Posted September 22, 2007 (edited) I've found the same thing. Why do people think that condescension is an appropriate tool for a debate? I've seen it used as an over-sensitive self-defense mechanism and as an intimidation tactic. What happened to respecting your opponent? As the Samarai used to put it: "How can you claim a great victory if you don't believe your opponent to be great?" (Sorry if that was badly paraphrased.) Bottom line: If you can't walk away from a conversation knowing you did all you could to make a new friend, then you ultimately do not understand the God-given purpose of interpersonal communication. Edited September 22, 2007 by abercius24 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sojourner Posted September 22, 2007 Share Posted September 22, 2007 [quote name='Lil Red' post='1390127' date='Sep 21 2007, 05:11 PM']That's a great idea, prose. i think i'm giving up sarcasm for Lent next year.[/quote] That's a long ways away ... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PapaHilarious Posted September 22, 2007 Share Posted September 22, 2007 [quote name='abercius24' post='1390408' date='Sep 21 2007, 09:13 PM']I've found the same thing. Why do people think that condescension is an appropriate tool for a debate? I've seen it used as an over-sensitive self-defense mechanism and as an intimidation tactic. What happened to respecting your opponent? As the Samarai used to put it: "How can you claim a great victory if you don't believe your opponent to be great?" (Sorry if that was badly paraphrased.) Bottom line: If you can't walk away from a conversation knowing you did all you could to make a new friend, then you ultimately do not understand the God-given purpose of interpersonal communication.[/quote] excellent quote the sad reality is that people often do exactly what you're talking about by putting others down to make themselves feel more secure. someone said in a previous reply that words only have the power you give them, but i have to disagree with that logic. take, for example, someone who uses God's name in vain. regardless of the intention or the power you give those words, it is still an offense to God. James chapter 3 is so timeless: [quote][5] So the tongue is a little member and boasts of great things. How great a forest is set ablaze by a small fire! [6] And the tongue is a fire. The tongue is an unrighteous world among our members, staining the whole body, setting on fire the cycle of nature, and set on fire by hell. [7] For every kind of beast and bird, of reptile and sea creature, can be tamed and has been tamed by humankind, [8] but no human being can tame the tongue -- a restless evil, full of deadly poison. [9] With it we bless the Lord and Father, and with it we curse men, who are made in the likeness of God. [10] From the same mouth come blessing and cursing. My brethren, this ought not to be so.[/quote] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SJRod55 Posted September 22, 2007 Share Posted September 22, 2007 7% of communication are the words 53% is body language and 40% is tone of voice. Words on their own are often too black and white, without the intonation, the whole picture we often find written words too harsh. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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