Non-catholics Presenting The Gifts

[Snowcatpa]

[font="Book Antiqua"][color="blue"]Hi everyone,

My finance and I are getting married in a month and, although we are both Catholic now, his family is entirely Protestant. We've been trying to be careful about which readings we pick and songs we sing, but were both adament about having the Eucharist and a nuptial mass.

The problem we have is trying to find a way to include his only sister in our wedding. I didn't know her well enough to have her be a bridesmaid and I don't want to do a guestbook. I don't know too much about this teaching, but I've heard that non-Catholics aren't allowed to visibly "help" in any part of the mass - readings, offering of the bread and wine, etc. But what if, during the presentation of gifts, she brought up the symbolic offering for the poor (a basket of canned and dry goods)? Would that still violate the spirit of the rule?

I ask because I feel bad not giving her anything - both of my siblings are in the wedding, as well as 7 of my cousins (ring-bearer, flower girl, reader, gift-bearer, etc.). It looks kinda discriminatory (his family's not too psyched about the mass/Eucharist anyway... )

What should I do?[/color][/font]

[cmotherofpirl]

You should consult your priest. Making up job now because you feel guilty might just make the situation worse. How does she feel about this? Does she care? Someone doesn't have to be your best friend to be in your wedding party, it can just be a matter of diplomacy and regard for your future inlaw family's feelings and the hope of gettting along smoothly. If its gonna cause long term hard feelings because you left her out you should would definitely rethink the guest book idea.

[cathoholic_anonymous]

If she's not a Catholic she might not understand about offerings for the poor and will be a little puzzled as to why she is carrying a parcel of canned goods up the aisle during a wedding. I agree with Cmum. You may not know her well now, but you will know her very well one day, so it would be better to include her.

[bonoducchi]

If she is a baptized Christian, I would have her proclaim one of the readings - the Liturgy of the Word is the most "accessible" part of the Mass to non-Catholics. Most dioceses in the US will allow interfaith ministry at non-Eucharistic celebrations; however, I would, well, break the rule at this Mass in favor of family harmony and because weddings are generally understood to be a very eclectic mix of faiths and provisions are made to the extent possible to include other Christian ministers in the particular ministries (non-Catholic ministers blessing the rings, for example).

"Offering" assumes full membership in the assembly that will offer its gifts on the altar at the hands of the priest and for the temporal work of the Church. Because of this, I would tend to shy away from having a non-Catholic present the gifts.

Edited September 9, 2007 by VaticanIILiturgist

[Resurrexi]

[quote name='VaticanIILiturgist' post='1381984' date='Sep 9 2007, 05:23 PM']If she is a baptized Christian, I would have her proclaim one of the readings - the Liturgy of the Word is the most "accessible" part of the Mass to non-Catholics. Most dioceses in the US will allow interfaith ministry at non-Eucharistic celebrations; [b]however, I would, well, break the rule at this Mass[/b] in favor of family harmony and because weddings are generally understood to be a very eclectic mix of faiths and provisions are made to the extent possible to include other Christian ministers in the particular ministries (non-Catholic ministers blessing the rings, for example).

"Offering" assumes full membership in the assembly that will offer its gifts on the altar at the hands of the priest and for the temporal work of the Church. Because of this, I would tend to shy away from having a non-Catholic present the gifts.[/quote]

It is a grave sin to disobey the rules governing the celebration of the Holy Sacrifice of the Mass.

Edited September 10, 2007 by StThomasMore

[bonoducchi]

[quote name='StThomasMore' post='1382058' date='Sep 9 2007, 08:57 PM']It is a grave sin to disobey the rules governing the celebration of the Holy Sacrifice of the Mass.[/quote]

I call it selective interpretation.

[kateri05]

cassie, is she baptized? because if she is, she can read a reading. that's really the safest bet....

i agree about the offering, esp because you aren't really supposed to bring anything up other than the eucharistic matter to be offered (am i making that up anyone? i had read that canned good type things are frowned upon)

[Archaeology cat]

[quote name='VaticanIILiturgist' post='1381984' date='Sep 9 2007, 11:23 PM']If she is a baptized Christian, I would have her proclaim one of the readings - the Liturgy of the Word is the most "accessible" part of the Mass to non-Catholics.[/quote]

I agree with having her do a reading, or be a bridesmaid. I had my brother (who is Methodist) do one of the readings, and I had my husband's sister as a bridesmaid, though I didn't know her all that well at that point.

[Snowcatpa]

[font="Book Antiqua"][color="blue"]Hmmm.... This is going to be tricky. I'm going to talk to my fiance more about what he thinks too - she's very shy, doesn't like the spotlight and I don't know if she'd be comfortable reading/would do a good job... Although I'm sort of relieved that there is that option! (She was baptized Methodist). So that is technically allowable. No offense VaticanII but "selective interpretation" sounds like a potentially shady road to go down... if those who are Baptized can do the reading though, I'll look into that option more.

Maybe she doesn't care - that would be glorious. I don't know if she "made" up this job for me, but she had me be her guest book attendant at her wedding a month ago because I wasn't in her wedding either. VaticanII's point about not being part of the "full membership in the assembly that will offer its gift on the altar" makes sense. I don't know if bringing up the basket is frowned upon, Lina. It was suggested to do by our parish marriage booklet and by our priest, and we offer up money with the eucharistic matter all the time, don't we?

Too late for the bridesmaid option Wedding's in 3 weeks.

Maybe she could hand out programs? That may be too ushery/boy-joby. [/color][/font]

[Archaeology cat]

[quote name='Snowcatpa' post='1382466' date='Sep 10 2007, 01:26 PM'][font="Book Antiqua"][color="blue"]Hmmm.... This is going to be tricky. I'm going to talk to my fiance more about what he thinks too - she's very shy, doesn't like the spotlight and I don't know if she'd be comfortable reading/would do a good job... Although I'm sort of relieved that there is that option! (She was baptized Methodist). So that is technically allowable. No offense VaticanII but "selective interpretation" sounds like a potentially shady road to go down... if those who are Baptized can do the reading though, I'll look into that option more.

Maybe she doesn't care - that would be glorious. I don't know if she "made" up this job for me, but she had me be her guest book attendant at her wedding a month ago because I wasn't in her wedding either. VaticanII's point about not being part of the "full membership in the assembly that will offer its gift on the altar" makes sense. I don't know if bringing up the basket is frowned upon, Lina. It was suggested to do by our parish marriage booklet and by our priest, and we offer up money with the eucharistic matter all the time, don't we?

Too late for the bridesmaid option Wedding's in 3 weeks.

Maybe she could hand out programs? That may be too ushery/boy-joby. [/color][/font][/quote]

One of my cousins did the guestbook, and as for programmes, I think I left that to my little brother. But I don't know why that couldn't be a job for anyone. Best of luck to you, and prayers during this final stretch.

[photosynthesis]

[quote name='VaticanIILiturgist' post='1382093' date='Sep 9 2007, 10:16 PM']I call it selective interpretation.[/quote]
Selective interpretation has led many souls astray.
[quote name='kateri05' post='1382156' date='Sep 9 2007, 11:02 PM']cassie, is she baptized? because if she is, she can read a reading. that's really the safest bet....

i agree about the offering, esp because you aren't really supposed to bring anything up other than the eucharistic matter to be offered (am i making that up anyone? i had read that canned good type things are frowned upon)[/quote]
Actually, the Church allows it in the ordinary form:

[quote name='GIRM 73']The offerings are then brought forward. It is praiseworthy for the bread and wine to be presented by the faithful. They are then accepted at an appropriate place by the priest or the deacon and carried to the altar. Even though the faithful no longer bring from their own possessions the bread and wine intended for the liturgy as in the past, nevertheless the rite of carrying up the offerings still retains its force and its spiritual significance.

It is well also that money or other gifts for the poor or for the Church, brought by the faithful or collected in the church, should be received. These are to be put in a suitable place but away from the eucharistic table.[/quote]

The GIRM does say that the offerings are to be brought by "the faithful," which I would interpret as members of the Catholic Church who are faithful to the Magisterium. However, it's something to ask your priest about.

Edited September 10, 2007 by photosynthesis

[cmotherofpirl]

[quote name='Snowcatpa' post='1382466' date='Sep 10 2007, 09:26 AM'][font="Book Antiqua"][color="blue"]Hmmm.... This is going to be tricky. I'm going to talk to my fiance more about what he thinks too - she's very shy, doesn't like the spotlight and I don't know if she'd be comfortable reading/would do a good job... Although I'm sort of relieved that there is that option! (She was baptized Methodist). So that is technically allowable. No offense VaticanII but "selective interpretation" sounds like a potentially shady road to go down... if those who are Baptized can do the reading though, I'll look into that option more.

Maybe she doesn't care - that would be glorious. I don't know if she "made" up this job for me, but she had me be her guest book attendant at her wedding a month ago because I wasn't in her wedding either. VaticanII's point about not being part of the "full membership in the assembly that will offer its gift on the altar" makes sense. I don't know if bringing up the basket is frowned upon, Lina. It was suggested to do by our parish marriage booklet and by our priest, and we offer up money with the eucharistic matter all the time, don't we?

Too late for the bridesmaid option Wedding's in 3 weeks.

Maybe she could hand out programs? That may be too ushery/boy-joby. [/color][/font][/quote]
She could hand out programs and greet people and direct them to the ushers.

[let_go_let_God]

Also another idea would be to invite her to be one of your personal attendants. She can be influential behind the scenes and it can help you get to know her better.

God bless-
LGLG