Is Cautious Dating A Good Thing Or A Bad Thing When It Comes To Vocati

[White Knight]

Hello everyone I decided to post the poll options in a more detailed manner instead of the standard basic Yes, Maybe, No, or Undecided fashion, I think its answers are more deeper in meaning and can provide a much more clear answer if possible, I know this topic isn't easy, especially for those people in this world both male and female who are considering ethier one of these options, rather it be Single, Married, or Religious Life. I'm also aware I may have mixed in some elements of these answers together, so you can put a more truthful answer, meaning you can vote for more then one.


What I'm going to say is this, this does not concern one person, but rather many. Now I dont really wanna place too much detail on one or two persons because I have no idea what they are going through as far as their choices on rather they choose to follow ethier one of these....So I start this big topic off with the basic question..


"Is cautious dating a good thing or a bad thing when it comes to a possible choice on determining certian vocations?"


[b]God Bless You Peace of Christ be with us all especially to those who post here, those who just read the topic without posting, and those who are active and inactive in general.[/b]
Debate.

Edited September 8, 2007 by White Knight

[Budge]

Date some girls, and if you like them, youre normal, and should stay away from seminary.

Forced celibacy is a doctrine of demons, says so right in the Bible..

[mod]Don't link there, please. --Era Might[/mod]

[Paladin D]

[quote name='Budge' post='1381070' date='Sep 8 2007, 04:58 PM']Date some girls, and if you like them, youre normal, and should stay away from seminary.

Forced celibacy is a doctrine of demons, says so right in the Bible..

[mod]Don't link there, please. --Era Might[/mod][/quote]

Words that a worshipper of Satan would say.

I expected no less.

[Budge]

Yeah cause Satanists just love heterosexuality...

[White Knight]

Try to keep this on the topic, and dont waste time with your claims Budge.

[gelibeme]

Dating in my mind should happen once you are mature enough to seriously think of marriage. Dating in the early to mid teens is out; you'd be going into it for the wrong motives. It is good for guys and girls to relate to each other in social settings, but serious dating is for those who think marriage is a possibility for them in the near future.

Dating while seriously discerning a vocation to the religious life only adds confusion and heartache. It would be somewhat misleading.

Always on these matters take it to prayer, talk it over with some wise folks, and listen to the advice you get.

Dating should include the family context, as Christians, dating ought to resemble courtship more than dating as defined by society.

My thoughts on the subject.

[Paladin D]

[quote name='Budge' post='1381081' date='Sep 8 2007, 05:07 PM']Yeah cause Satanists just love heterosexuality...

[/quote]

I got some tissues for you if you need any.

[bonoducchi]

[quote name='gelibeme' post='1381114' date='Sep 8 2007, 04:24 PM']Dating in my mind should happen once you are mature enough to seriously think of marriage. Dating in the early to mid teens is out; you'd be going into it for the wrong motives. It is good for guys and girls to relate to each other in social settings, but serious dating is for those who think marriage is a possibility for them in the near future.

Dating while seriously discerning a vocation to the religious life only adds confusion and heartache. It would be somewhat misleading.

Always on these matters take it to prayer, talk it over with some wise folks, and listen to the advice you get.

Dating should include the family context, as Christians, dating ought to resemble courtship more than dating as defined by society.

My thoughts on the subject.[/quote]

By that logic, no one should enter the seminary right out of high school.

I say go ahead and date. Dating, done in a healthy and moral way, helps us decide if we are called to the sacrament of marriage, just like the seminary or novitiate helps us determine if we are called to religious life or the sacrament of Holy Orders.

[Budge]

Hmm dont know what the above is about?

Anyhow to original poster, read your Bible about what is expected of a Christian.

If you are a teen and not ready to marry you should not be dating exclusively, seeing girls in group activities only.

If you are ready to marry and of age, then dating a girl in a proper Christian fashion is definitely alright for a young Christian man.

One needs to wait for marriage as well and try and ignore the worlds teachings about sexuality and dating.

Anyhow I hold by my opinion that enforced celibacy via the Catholic Church is a bad thing, as Dr. Phil would say, [and especially in light of the Catholic Church's problems}

Hows that working for you?

[cathoholic_anonymous]

The celibate life is nothing to do with homosexuality, Budge.

The celibate life is to do with not having sex. It's got no bearing on what your orientation is. It certainly doesn't cause paedophilia, as you imply. If it did, the majority of cases of paedophilia would involve single men as opposed to married men who prey on their own children.

And if celibacy is a 'doctrine of demons', what would you say to St Paul?

[quote]Now concerning the matters about which you wrote: ‘It is well for a man not to touch a woman.’ 2But because of cases of sexual immorality, each man should have his own wife and each woman her own husband. 3The husband should give to his wife her conjugal rights, and likewise the wife to her husband. 4For the wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does; likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does. 5Do not deprive one another except perhaps by agreement for a set time, to devote yourselves to prayer, and then come together again, so that Satan may not tempt you because of your lack of self-control. 6This I say by way of concession, not of command. 7I wish that all were as I myself am. But each has a particular gift from God, one having one kind and another a different kind. (1 Corinthians 7:1-7)[/quote]

Paul makes it clear that celibacy is a calling for some people, a teaching that is rooted in Jesus' own words:

[quote]But he said to them, ‘Not everyone can accept this teaching, but only those to whom it is given. 12For there are eunuchs who have been so from birth, and there are eunuchs who have been made eunuchs by others, and there are eunuchs who have made themselves eunuchs for the sake of the kingdom of heaven. Let anyone accept this who can.’ (Matthew 19:11-12)[/quote]

Celibacy is not for everyone, but God definitely invites a few people to live in this way. They shouldn't be sneered at or looked down upon; their contribution to our community is just as valuable as that of a married couple.

In answer to the original question: I think it very much depends on you as an individual. Good friendships between members of the opposite gender are wonderful. This sort of relationship is not optional but positively necessary if you're considering the religious life. I've been blessed with several close male friends, although I've only ever wanted to enter a romantic relationship with two of them. After prayer and careful thought, I decided that this wouldn't help me in my journey. Right now I continue to thank God for what I have without seeking for anything more.

I know other girls in my position who have had boyfriends and haven't been any the worse for that spiritually. It may even have helped them to determine what kind of person they are and what they really need in this life. I doubt you will get a definitive yes-no answer about whether 'cautious dating' is right or wrong. I think you should talk to a spiritual director or a knowledgeable Catholic who knows you well to discuss what is best in your own circumstances.

Edited September 8, 2007 by Cathoholic Anonymous

[Budge]

[quote]Paul makes it clear that celibacy is a calling for some people, a teaching that is rooted in Jesus' own words:[/quote]

Sure but that is by choice.

I have a relative who has never married or dated in her life and shows no homosexual inclinations.

1 Timothy makes it clear bishops can be "married"

Forcing young men on the cusp of life, who enter seminary to forgo a wife for the rest of their life is not what Paul meant.

That is about control not about freedom in Jesus Christ.

[Farsight one]

[quote name='Budge' post='1381127' date='Sep 8 2007, 04:33 PM']Sure but that is by choice.[/quote]A priest's celibacy is by choice also. The fact that a few priests have chosen not to be celibate is proof enough of that. Just as you choose to follow the rules of this message board, so too do the priests choose to follow the rules of the priest hood. If you didn't want to choose to follow the rules of this board, you wouldn't be here. If someone didn't want to choose to follow the rules of the priesthood, they wouldn't become a priest.

[Paladin D]

[quote name='Budge' post='1381127' date='Sep 8 2007, 05:33 PM']Sure but that is by choice.

I have a relative who has never married or dated in her life and shows no homosexual inclinations.

1 Timothy makes it clear bishops can be "married"

Forcing young men on the cusp of life, who enter seminary to forgo a wife for the rest of their life is not what Paul meant.

That is about control not about freedom in Jesus Christ.[/quote]

You do know that those enter the priesthood do so by [b]choice[/b]?

[Paladin D]

[quote name='VaticanIILiturgist' post='1381118' date='Sep 8 2007, 05:29 PM']I say go ahead and date. Dating, done in a healthy and moral way, helps us decide if we are called to the sacrament of marriage, just like the seminary or novitiate helps us determine if we are called to religious life or the sacrament of Holy Orders.[/quote]

I would have to agree.

Don't be paranoid as to whether or not which vocation is the one. Part of discernment is prayer, the other part is action. If you pray and do nothing, you won't really get anywhere.

[Budge]

[quote]You do know that those enter the priesthood do so by choice?[/quote]

Nothing is a choice if it is a requirement for something else.

I hope this young man really takes a look around and isnt deceived.

How many are denied wives and children and beloved families because of these lies of Rome?

Not to say every man or even woman would marry or have kids, but at least they would have this choice or option.

Someone at age 20, isnt going to realize the ramfications of a life without children and or spouse at 45.