How Many Christians Does It Take...

[Groo the Wanderer]

Roman Catholics None. Who needs ’em when you have candles?

Episcopalians Three. One to call the electrician, one to mix the drinks, and one to talk about how much better the old one was.

Baptists At least 15. One to change the light bulb, and three committees to approve the change and decide who brings the Potato salad and fried chicken .

Pentecostals Ten. One to change the bulb, and nine to pray against the spirit of darkness.

Mormons Five. One man to change the bulb, and four wives to tell him how to do it.

Charismatic Only 1. Hands are already in the air.

Presbyterians None. Lights will go on and off at predestined times.

Unitarians We choose not to make a statement either in favor of or against the need for a light bulb. However, if in your own journey you have found that light bulbs work for you, you are invited to write a poem or compose a modern dance about your light bulb for the next Sunday service, in which we will explore a number of light bulb traditions, including incandescent, fluorescent, 3-way, long-life and tinted, all of which are equally valid paths to luminescence.

Methodists Undetermined. Whether your light is bright, dull, or completely out, you are loved. You can be a light bulb, turnip bulb, or tulip bulb. Bring a bulb of your choice to the Sunday lighting service and a covered dish to pass.

Nazarene 6. One woman to replace the bulb while five men review church lighting policy.

Lutherans None. Lutherans don’t believe in change.

Amish What’s a light bulb?

[matthew1618]

[quote name='Groo the Wanderer' post='1376848' date='Sep 3 2007, 10:00 AM']Roman Catholics None. Who needs ’em when you have candles?

Episcopalians Three. One to call the electrician, one to mix the drinks, and one to talk about how much better the old one was.

Baptists At least 15. One to change the light bulb, and three committees to approve the change and decide who brings the Potato salad and fried chicken .

Pentecostals Ten. One to change the bulb, and nine to pray against the spirit of darkness.

Mormons Five. One man to change the bulb, and four wives to tell him how to do it.

Charismatic Only 1. Hands are already in the air.

Presbyterians None. Lights will go on and off at predestined times.

Unitarians We choose not to make a statement either in favor of or against the need for a light bulb. However, if in your own journey you have found that light bulbs work for you, you are invited to write a poem or compose a modern dance about your light bulb for the next Sunday service, in which we will explore a number of light bulb traditions, including incandescent, fluorescent, 3-way, long-life and tinted, all of which are equally valid paths to luminescence.

Methodists Undetermined. Whether your light is bright, dull, or completely out, you are loved. You can be a light bulb, turnip bulb, or tulip bulb. Bring a bulb of your choice to the Sunday lighting service and a covered dish to pass.

Nazarene 6. One woman to replace the bulb while five men review church lighting policy.

Lutherans None. Lutherans don’t believe in change.

Amish What’s a light bulb?[/quote]

Very Funny

[XIX]

No, Catholics need like 35 to change a light bulb. One to change to bulb, 30 to pray the Rosary with Mother Angelica, and four to argue on the debate board.

[Starets]

Wouldnt the amount of Catholics it takes to change a light bulb depend on whether it was an Ordinary Form lightbulb or an Extraordinary Form light bulb?

[Norseman82]

And whether it needed to be veiled?

[hoosieranna]

Lutherans (from Lutheran friends at a Lutheran college): Change the lightbulb? What lightbulb? My grandma gave us that lightbulb!

[Thy Geekdom Come]

Catholics: as many as are willing to serve on the committee at least 40% of the time. We wouldn't want to leave anyone out. No, we don't mind if you take your kid to soccer instead 60% of the time. If it surpasses that, we will give you only three excused absences and then send a nun after you with a ruler.

[AlterDominicus]

[Dreamweaver]

Lutherans: 7. One to change the lightbulb, 4 to bring the hotdishes, and two to debate the "potato chip vs. crunchy onions" as a hotdish topping.

[Starets]

Anglicans: We don't change lightbulbs. We accept them as they are.

[T-Bone _]

[quote name='Dreamweaver' post='1376950' date='Sep 3 2007, 10:25 AM']Lutherans: 7. One to change the lightbulb, 4 to bring the hotdishes, and two to debate the "potato chip vs. crunchy onions" as a hotdish topping.[/quote]

I thought hotdish toppings were supposed to consist of Tater Tots...

[Thy Geekdom Come]

Radical Traditionalists: One, but he'll go out and appoint others without permission, who will then insist that they find the original lightbulb used by Thomas Edison, since all other lightbulbs are invalid and aren't really giving off any light at all.

[Thy Geekdom Come]

[quote name='T-Bone _' post='1376994' date='Sep 3 2007, 02:08 PM']I thought hotdish toppings were supposed to consist of Tater Tots...[/quote]
Totally wrong...crumbled Cheez-it's or crunched up frosted flakes soaked in butter (which is surprisingly tasty, by the way).

[homeschoolmom]

Those may be fine on "casserole" but would be foreign on a "hotdish."

[Thy Geekdom Come]

[quote name='homeschoolmom' post='1377235' date='Sep 3 2007, 07:16 PM']Those may be fine on "casserole" but would be foreign on a "hotdish."[/quote]
Well, I'll tell you what, you bake me a hotdish and bring it down to our next potluck and I'll be the judge.