Chiquitunga Posted August 23, 2007 Share Posted August 23, 2007 (edited) Okay, this may a few weeks late, but I finally found the Fr. Corapi Chuck Norris jokes I referred to in one of the old Chuck threads. They were actually a lot funnier the first time I read them, but here's a start. Written by a seminarian on Facebook. (I'm not there, but a friend is :j) Father Corapi is awesome. Father Corapi does not know where you live, but he knows where you will die (in order to administer Viaticum...duh). Every time Father Corapi says Mass, an angel gets its wings. Father Corapi and God once shared a high-five. The wind that was created caused Hurricane Katrina. Father Corapi, when he was in the military, once shot down an enemy plane by pointing his finger and shouting, "Bang!" They say lightning never strikes the same place twice. Neither does Father Corapi. He doesn't have to. "Abortion clinics, pornography stores...I would move my artillery into place and light 'em up! I would totally liquidate them...speaking metaphorically, of course" The Soldier's Creed states, "surrender is not an option...except when Father Corapi is in town." The only thing we have to fear is fear itself. The only thing fear has to fear is Father Corapi. Regardless of race, gender, location, or education level... at one point in your life you have underestimated Father Corapi. You will live just long enough to regret this. "I am ready and willing to destroy my enemies in close and mortal combat." Father Corapi's statue of the Blessed Virgin Mary wears combat boots. Father Corapi's Rosary is made of spent .54 caliber bullet shells. No, really. When Satan goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet to make sure Father Corapi isn't there. An apple a day does not keep Father Corapi away. Only going to Mass and confession every day keeps Father Corapi away... sometimes. Edited August 23, 2007 by Margaret Clare Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ash Wednesday Posted August 23, 2007 Share Posted August 23, 2007 Very appropriate for a priest like him. He is a warrior. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Hyphen Posted August 23, 2007 Share Posted August 23, 2007 He is probably one of the best preachers I've ever heard. There is no hiding from this man as he speaks! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paladin D Posted August 23, 2007 Share Posted August 23, 2007 (edited) He served in the Army Special Forces (aka, Green Berets). Edited August 23, 2007 by Paladin D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cmaD2006 Posted September 6, 2007 Share Posted September 6, 2007 That really made me laugh! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
isilzha Posted September 7, 2007 Share Posted September 7, 2007 I can't even tell you which one of those was my favorite. They were all so funny. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Saint Therese Posted September 8, 2007 Share Posted September 8, 2007 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tufsoles Posted September 9, 2007 Share Posted September 9, 2007 Those were too funny. I love Fr. corapi. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pontifite 7 of 10 Posted September 9, 2007 Share Posted September 9, 2007 His words scare me, but he's cool. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lounge Daddy Posted September 9, 2007 Share Posted September 9, 2007 I am very grateful that Father Corapi said "yes" to God. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Justin86 Posted September 9, 2007 Share Posted September 9, 2007 (edited) [quote]He served in the Army Special Forces (aka, Green Berets).[/quote] Still doesn't change the fact that Navy Seals are cooler. Edited September 9, 2007 by Justin86 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cathoholic_anonymous Posted September 9, 2007 Share Posted September 9, 2007 [quote]Father Corapi's statue of the Blessed Virgin Mary wears combat boots. When Satan goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet to make sure Father Corapi isn't there.[/quote] These two. Definitely these two. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carolyn Posted September 9, 2007 Share Posted September 9, 2007 (edited) I can't decide which one I like the most. These are hilarious, and they have me laughing out loud. Thank you! Edited September 9, 2007 by Carolyn Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SarahB Posted September 10, 2007 Share Posted September 10, 2007 [b]The only thing we have to fear is fear itself. The only thing fear has to fear is Father Corapi. [/b] Haha, I laughed so hard my mom came to see what was the matter with me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jeffpugh Posted September 10, 2007 Share Posted September 10, 2007 His momma does wear army boots. He gave that joke on an EWTN special last year. Oh that was a good talk he gave. He had to do it over the web though cause he was off somewhere else. Probably roundhouse kicking some evil in the face. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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