Confession, Examination Of Conscience And Scrupulosity

[Extra ecclesiam nulla salus]

recently i have been looking over an examination of conscience. i was trying to figure out why i detested the idea of confession so much, and why i decided not to make my required yearly confession and to lapse out of Catholicism.

i came to the conclusion that it is due to my interpretation of the examination of conscience and my scrupulosity.

for example: "Do we truly love God above all, or do we sometimes give greater importance to things of this world: money, image, looks, clothes, popularity or selfish desires?"

what does this exactly mean? is this a mortal sin? If so it seems like everyone commits it numerous times a day.

"As children, are we loving, respectful and obedient to our parents? Do we appreciate the many sacrifices they make for us? Do we say "Thank you" and "I love you" often enough?"

"Do we help bring peace and happiness to our families, or are we disrespectful of others and a source of hurt and division for those who are closest to us?"

i am also confused about things like this. they are very vague... when is breaking the 4th commandment a mortal sin?


any suggestions about how to overcome scrupulosity, and how to figure out what is and what is not a mortal sin?

thanks

EENS

[Resurrexi]

Read the catechism Sam! It usually tells you which sins against the commands are mortal and which are venial.

God bless
Tyler

[Hirsap]

Remember Sam, God is not trying to look for ways to condemn us. Speaking from experience, I understand that scrupulosity makes us tend to extract the minutest detail out of things, and we juggle the pros and cons of things with useless mind games.

With regard to those things mentioned in the examination you refer to, allow me to comment on one, and bring some perspective. One says that one must make known one's appreciation for one's parents. Now realise, that there won't be one 'act' with regard to this that will constitute a mortal sin. So whatever you do, don't get yourself into a situation where your thinking "Must I thank them now, for this thing, or perhaps must I remember to thank them twice for the two thing packets of x that was purchased 3 days ago, must I thank them again for I didn't thank them 'adequetely' before, etc etc. That's my 2cents. Anyone else feel free to comment on this.

As always, a good, orthodox confessor's wisdom is the best remedy.

[Ziggamafu]

I simply cannot recommend Fr. Heribert Jone's [i]Moral Theology[/i] (TAN books) enough, here. It was the definitive help in my struggles with scrupulosity. Not only is it probably the most authoritative handbook specifically on moral theology (in English), it is the most exhaustive systematic presentation on the topic I've seen. There is a large section that helps you to understand when mortal sin has occurred (i.e., when deliberate consent and full knowledge are present). Pick up a copy ASAP. It is a must-own!

[EcceNovaFacioOmni]

[quote name='Ziggamafu' post='1353764' date='Aug 9 2007, 10:12 AM']I simply cannot recommend Fr. Heribert Jone's [i]Moral Theology[/i] (TAN books) enough, here. It was the definitive help in my struggles with scrupulosity. Not only is it probably the most authoritative handbook specifically on moral theology (in English), it is the most exhaustive systematic presentation on the topic I've seen. There is a large section that helps you to understand when mortal sin has occurred (i.e., when deliberate consent and full knowledge are present). Pick up a copy ASAP. It is a must-own![/quote]
Thank you! Hopefully will get to the Catholic bookstore tommorow...

[journeyman]

[quote name='Extra ecclesiam nulla salus' post='1352567' date='Aug 7 2007, 10:14 PM']recently i have been looking over an examination of conscience. i was trying to figure out why i detested the idea of confession so much, and why i decided not to make my required yearly confession and to lapse out of Catholicism.

i came to the conclusion that it is due to my interpretation of the examination of conscience and my scrupulosity.

for example: "Do we truly love God above all, or do we sometimes give greater importance to things of this world: money, image, looks, clothes, popularity or selfish desires?"

what does this exactly mean? is this a mortal sin? If so it seems like everyone commits it numerous times a day.

"As children, are we loving, respectful and obedient to our parents? Do we appreciate the many sacrifices they make for us? Do we say "Thank you" and "I love you" often enough?"

"Do we help bring peace and happiness to our families, or are we disrespectful of others and a source of hurt and division for those who are closest to us?"

i am also confused about things like this. they are very vague... when is breaking the 4th commandment a mortal sin?
any suggestions about how to overcome scrupulosity, and how to figure out what is and what is not a mortal sin?

thanks

EENS[/quote]


Despite the risk of using the word "relativism" may I suggest it is appropriate here?

If the guide you are using leaves you uncertain, find another. Perhaps the expanded phrasing of its questions or topics for reflection will guide you.
(Basic premise: A mortal sin involves a serious matter, sufficient reflection, and is committed with full consent of the will.) . . . (basic example: any behavior you internally say, should I, no I shouldn't, I'm going to do it anyway . . . gets you past two out of three tests - if the behavior is one of the ten commandments, or one of the seven deadly sins, then it is probably mortal)

Here's a link to a self-styled "practical" examination of conscience:
[url="http://www.domestic-church.com/CONTENT.DCC/19990101/SCRMNTL/Latorre_exam.htm"]http://www.domestic-church.com/CONTENT.DCC...atorre_exam.htm[/url]
and one for an examination keyed to the theological virtues:
[url="http://www.domestic-church.com/CONTENT.DCC/19990101/SCRMNTL/hardon.htm"]http://www.domestic-church.com/CONTENT.DCC...MNTL/hardon.htm[/url]

If it still isn't clear, and your understanding of the sin is that it is mortal, confess it.
If the priest tells you it is not mortal, and you have not established control over that behavior, you can discuss the limits between venial and mortal, so you don't repeat it in confession unless you pass that boundary.

If upon later reading, prayer, reflection, your understanding upgrades a sin you previously considered venial to mortal status (and this isn't a rethinking of what you and your confessor have already discussed), confess it the next time you go. While it may have been forgiven at the prior confession {and the priest should tell you if he thinks you are going over "old ground"}, if it preys on your mind, the sacrament is the proper forum for the discussion that will lead to your reconciliation and the peace that should follow from the sacrament.

(personal interjection - I'm pretty sure the Church does not hold, if it ever did, that if you commit a specific venial sin X times, it morphs into mortal - it is an indicator of an area where work is needed on your personal trek to holiness, but the absolution at confession remits the sin)

How are you going to learn the boundaries if you don't discuss them with your confessor or spiritual director? Use the sacrament to teach yourself, as well as to cleanse your soul.

[mtettleton]

[quote name='journeyman' post='1357490' date='Aug 12 2007, 05:12 PM']How are you going to learn the boundaries if you don't discuss them with your confessor or spiritual director? Use the sacrament to teach yourself, as well as to cleanse your soul.[/quote]

I'm in agreeance.

[White Knight]

Thank You everyone for your help. Peace of our Lord be with You.

[genxcathedra]

Thanks! Still, I think common mortal sins ought to be distinguished from venial sins for those of us who're scrupulous. I do prefer Jone's book, but I kinda liked Fr. Cass Kucharek's scrupulosity book "To Settle Your Conscience", I think it's called.
Could someone pdf the Jone's pages on scrupulosity or provide a link to an free online book, if it exists?

Thank you!

[quote name='journeyman' post='1357490' date='Aug 12 2007, 05:12 PM']Despite the risk of using the word "relativism" may I suggest it is appropriate here?

If the guide you are using leaves you uncertain, find another. Perhaps the expanded phrasing of its questions or topics for reflection will guide you.
(Basic premise: A mortal sin involves a serious matter, sufficient reflection, and is committed with full consent of the will.) . . . (basic example: any behavior you internally say, should I, no I shouldn't, I'm going to do it anyway . . . gets you past two out of three tests - if the behavior is one of the ten commandments, or one of the seven deadly sins, then it is probably mortal)

Here's a link to a self-styled "practical" examination of conscience:
[url="http://www.domestic-church.com/CONTENT.DCC/19990101/SCRMNTL/Latorre_exam.htm"]http://www.domestic-church.com/CONTENT.DCC...atorre_exam.htm[/url]
and one for an examination keyed to the theological virtues:
[url="http://www.domestic-church.com/CONTENT.DCC/19990101/SCRMNTL/hardon.htm"]http://www.domestic-church.com/CONTENT.DCC...MNTL/hardon.htm[/url]

If it still isn't clear, and your understanding of the sin is that it is mortal, confess it.
If the priest tells you it is not mortal, and you have not established control over that behavior, you can discuss the limits between venial and mortal, so you don't repeat it in confession unless you pass that boundary.

If upon later reading, prayer, reflection, your understanding upgrades a sin you previously considered venial to mortal status (and this isn't a rethinking of what you and your confessor have already discussed), confess it the next time you go. While it may have been forgiven at the prior confession {and the priest should tell you if he thinks you are going over "old ground"}, if it preys on your mind, the sacrament is the proper forum for the discussion that will lead to your reconciliation and the peace that should follow from the sacrament.

(personal interjection - I'm pretty sure the Church does not hold, if it ever did, that if you commit a specific venial sin X times, it morphs into mortal - it is an indicator of an area where work is needed on your personal trek to holiness, but the absolution at confession remits the sin)

How are you going to learn the boundaries if you don't discuss them with your confessor or spiritual director? Use the sacrament to teach yourself, as well as to cleanse your soul.[/quote]