Gilbert Arenas: ‘no Such Thing As Shark Attacks’

[Roamin Catholic]

Gilbert Arenas of the NBA's Washington Wizards said.....



[quote]There are these things called shark attacks, but there is no such thing as a shark attack. I have never seen a real shark attack. I know you’re making a weird face as you’re reading this. OK people, a shark attack is not what we see on TV and what people portray it as.

We’re humans. We live on land.

Sharks live in water.

So if you’re swimming in the water and a shark bites you, that’s called trespassing. That is called trespassing. That is not a shark attack. A shark attack is if you’re chilling at home, sitting on your couch, and a shark comes in and bites you; now that’s a shark attack. Now, if you’re chilling in the water, that is called invasion of space. So I have never heard of a shark attack.

When I see on the news where it’s like, “There have been 10 shark attacks,” I’m like, “Hey, for real?! They’re just running around? Sharks are walking now, huh! We live on the land, we don’t live underwater.”[/quote]

[T-Bone _]

I hope he was joking. Otherwise...

[Lil Red]

[Noel's angel]

The man speaks the truth.

[dUSt]

Contrary to what most people say, the most dangerous animal in the world is not the lion or the tiger or even the elephant. It's a shark riding on an elephant's back, just trampling and eating everything they see.

[dUSt]

[Knock at the door]
[b]Yes?[/b]
Mrs. Arlsburgerhhh?
[b]What?[/b]
Mrs. Johannesburrrr?
[b]Who is it?[/b]
... Flowers.
[b]Flowers for whom?[/b]
... ... Plumber, ma'am.
[b]I don't need a plumber. You're that clever shark, aren't you?[/b]
... Candygram.
[b]Candygram, my foot. Get out of here before I call the police. You're the shark, and you know it.[/b]
I'm only a dolphin, ma'am.
[b]A dolphin? Well...okay.[/b] [opens door]

AAAAAGGGGHHHHH!!!! SHARK ATTACK!!!

[Sojourner]

[quote name='dUSt' post='1347739' date='Aug 2 2007, 04:55 PM']Contrary to what most people say, the most dangerous animal in the world is not the lion or the tiger or even the elephant. It's a shark riding on an elephant's back, just trampling and eating everything they see.[/quote]
[quote name='dUSt' post='1347747' date='Aug 2 2007, 04:57 PM'][Knock at the door]
[b]Yes?[/b]
Mrs. Arlsburgerhhh?
[b]What?[/b]
Mrs. Johannesburrrr?
[b]Who is it?[/b]
... Flowers.
[b]Flowers for whom?[/b]
... ... Plumber, ma'am.
[b]I don't need a plumber. You're that clever shark, aren't you?[/b]
... Candygram.
[b]Candygram, my foot. Get out of here before I call the police. You're the shark, and you know it.[/b]
I'm only a dolphin, ma'am.
[b]A dolphin? Well...okay.[/b] [opens door]

AAAAAGGGGHHHHH!!!! SHARK ATTACK!!![/quote]


OK that could be the funniest stuff I've read all month.

[Pat216]

He stole that whole joke from Ian Edwards' stand up
[url="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jzt4ycP6iMw"]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jzt4ycP6iMw[/url]

(minute 3:35)

wow is Gilbert is arrogant. Claiming he is the "eastern conference assassin" and now claiming he's got good jokes. cmon dude be real. Lebron owns him anyway. Go Cavs

Gilbert Lame. Dust funny.

[goldenchild17]

[quote name='Roamin_Catholic' post='1347634' date='Aug 2 2007, 04:04 PM']Gilbert Arenas of the NBA's Washington Wizards said.....[/quote]
Love it! In a sense I've kinda got to agree with him, though I wonder where such comment ever originated in the first place.

[Roamin Catholic]

[quote name='Pat216' post='1347794' date='Aug 2 2007, 05:15 PM']He stole that whole joke from Ian Edwards' stand up
[url="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jzt4ycP6iMw"]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jzt4ycP6iMw[/url]

(minute 3:35)

wow is Gilbert is arrogant. Claiming he is the "eastern conference assassin" and now claiming he's got good jokes. cmon dude be real. Lebron owns him anyway. Go Cavs

Gilbert Lame. Dust funny.[/quote]

I heard that he got it from someone else....

[Seven77]

wheres the Arenas quote from? maybe he's trying to diss the Clippers.

[knightec]

THE SHARKS ARE ATTACKING!!!!!!![url="http://carlosmencia.com/content/videos.php?id=31"]
[/url]

[url="http://carlosmencia.com/content/videos.php?id=31"]http://carlosmencia.com/content/videos.php?id=31[/url]

[dUSt]

He should have clarified "sharks" and "land sharks". He may have a point about only sharks that attack on land would be an "attack", but what about land sharks who attack in the water? How does he know that all the reported shark attacks that occured in the water weren't actually land sharks in the first place. Then, they surely would have to be considered "attacks" because land sharks are for the land.

Save the whales.

[Sojourner]

what about loan sharks?

[T-Bone _]

[quote name='dUSt' post='1348468' date='Aug 3 2007, 08:18 AM']He should have clarified "sharks" and "land sharks". He may have a point about only sharks that attack on land would be an "attack", but what about land sharks who attack in the water? How does he know that all the reported shark attacks that occured in the water weren't actually land sharks in the first place. Then, they surely would have to be considered "attacks" because land sharks are for the land.

Save the whales.[/quote]

Shave the Wales.