Sojourner Posted July 30, 2007 Share Posted July 30, 2007 I've had an issue or two that I've really been struggling with lately, some things that just did not turn out as I had hoped they would, and I've been really angry about it, both at the person(s) involved, at myself, and at God, for quite a while. Then last night, I was half reading and half watching TV a little after midnight, trying to get to that "ready to fall asleep" point. The show I was watching (on Lifetime, for some odd reason) was some re-run of a drama I've never watched before, and it opened with a dream sequence where one of the characters was trying desperately to order pizza from a Chinese restaurant, and of course the whole point of the show was that demanding something from someone who doesn't have what you want just doesn't work. No matter how hard you scream for it, you can't get pizza in a Chinese restaurant. It's just not on the menu, and if that's the only thing that's going to satisfy you, you need to move on. I didn't reach the, "oh! so that's what I've been doing!" moment until the end of the program, when it finally dawned on me that this was the real issue. Perhaps part of the reason I've continued to be angry is that I really never quite realized that I was looking for the things I really want in the wrong place and I couldn't accept that there wasn't any pizza on the menu, only egg rolls. I like the restaurant, after all, and it's hard to accept that the restaurant I like so much just doesn't offer what I'm hungry for. Seen in that light, I realize that being angry about it isn't going to change the menu at all ... it is what it is, and pizza just isn't on the menu, no matter how much I demand that they put it up. Maybe this makes no sense to anyone else, but I feel like I finally have come to terms with the way things are ... and the anger has dissipated. I'm still saddened by the situation but I'm at peace with it, which is really big. I feel a ton lighter. Just thought I'd share ... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maggyie Posted July 30, 2007 Share Posted July 30, 2007 This makes a lot of sense! Thanks for sharing! So the Lifetime channel is good for something it turns out Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sojourner Posted July 30, 2007 Author Share Posted July 30, 2007 God works in mysterious ways ... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lil Red Posted July 30, 2007 Share Posted July 30, 2007 i kinda get what you're saying but i'm still confused Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sojourner Posted July 30, 2007 Author Share Posted July 30, 2007 [quote name='Lil Red' post='1344353' date='Jul 30 2007, 09:30 AM']i kinda get what you're saying but i'm still confused [/quote] yeah ... I'm trying not to go into specifics about the situations. But I wanted something from someone that they just didn't offer (it wasn't "on the menu" just like there's no pizza on the menu at a Chinese restaurant). And I've been very angry about that situation for quite some time ... until I realized that my being angry about it was like being angry that I can't get pizza at Lee Ann Chin's. Does that help? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lil Red Posted July 30, 2007 Share Posted July 30, 2007 and i get the whole metaphor thing. maybe this could be applied to other situations too? like gay marriage or womyn priests? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sojourner Posted July 30, 2007 Author Share Posted July 30, 2007 [quote name='Lil Red' post='1344414' date='Jul 30 2007, 12:02 PM'] and i get the whole metaphor thing. maybe this could be applied to other situations too? like gay marriage or womyn priests?[/quote] Yeah I was thinking about that, actually. I think it's actually a very flexible metaphor and could be applicable to a lot of other situations, because I'm most definitely not alone in my issues with being angry that what I want isn't on the menu. If you are thinking of sharing it, I think it might work best as a skit followed by explication of the metaphor ... I think that's part of what made it so powerful for me, seeing the dream sequence, wondering about the strangeness of it, then coming to a point of seeing myself as the person demanding pizza. It's kinda like the way that Nathan convicted David of his sin with Bathsheba, by telling a story and engaging him and then putting him squarely in the place of the wrongdoer. Just coming out and saying, "What you did is wrong" or "your anger is misplaced" doesn't have near the impact of sharing it as a story. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paddington Posted July 30, 2007 Share Posted July 30, 2007 Nathan had pizazz. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Colleen Posted July 30, 2007 Share Posted July 30, 2007 (edited) I think that makes a lot of sense, and I can see why it would be helpful for such a situation or other situations. It's a good thing for me to keep in mind as well. Thank you for sharing. It's neat how sometimes we get moments of insight from the oddest places. Edited July 30, 2007 by Colleen Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WillT Posted July 31, 2007 Share Posted July 31, 2007 [quote name='Terra Firma' post='1344219' date='Jul 29 2007, 10:35 PM']I've had an issue or two that I've really been struggling with lately, some things that just did not turn out as I had hoped they would, and I've been really angry about it, both at the person(s) involved, at myself, and at God, for quite a while. Then last night, I was half reading and half watching TV a little after midnight, trying to get to that "ready to fall asleep" point. The show I was watching (on Lifetime, for some odd reason) was some re-run of a drama I've never watched before, and it opened with a dream sequence where one of the characters was trying desperately to order pizza from a Chinese restaurant, and of course the whole point of the show was that demanding something from someone who doesn't have what you want just doesn't work. No matter how hard you scream for it, you can't get pizza in a Chinese restaurant. It's just not on the menu, and if that's the only thing that's going to satisfy you, you need to move on. I didn't reach the, "oh! so that's what I've been doing!" moment until the end of the program, when it finally dawned on me that this was the real issue. Perhaps part of the reason I've continued to be angry is that I really never quite realized that I was looking for the things I really want in the wrong place and I couldn't accept that there wasn't any pizza on the menu, only egg rolls. I like the restaurant, after all, and it's hard to accept that the restaurant I like so much just doesn't offer what I'm hungry for. Seen in that light, I realize that being angry about it isn't going to change the menu at all ... it is what it is, and pizza just isn't on the menu, no matter how much I demand that they put it up. Maybe this makes no sense to anyone else, but I feel like I finally have come to terms with the way things are ... and the anger has dissipated. I'm still saddened by the situation but I'm at peace with it, which is really big. I feel a ton lighter. Just thought I'd share ...[/quote] I have so gotten a pizza at a chinese restaurant! It was odd, but they had it! Anyway, my crazy experiences aside, I get like this sometimes too. It's good to be able to take a step back and realize that if God wants you to have pizza He'll lead you out of the Chinese place and accross the street to the Itallian place you never even knew existed. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Justin86 Posted August 5, 2007 Share Posted August 5, 2007 [quote name='Terra Firma' post='1344219' date='Jul 30 2007, 01:35 PM']I feel a ton lighter.[/quote] And I feel a whole lot hungrier. Guess I'm having eggrolls and other Chinese cuisine for dinner tonight. Seriously though, who knew you'd get anything spiritual from "Television For Women". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
XIX Posted August 5, 2007 Share Posted August 5, 2007 I have to admit I'm a bit perplexed. I would have a tough time dealing with the idea that there would be a desire in my heart and nothing to fulfill that desire. Perhaps I am going off of the false assumption that it's a holy desire? Eh. I'm a bit confused. I'm not faulting anyone or saying that Terra should have gone into more detail or anything. I...I dunno. I'm just saying. I'm sure this confusion on my end is largely a function of not knowing Terra's specific situation... Thanks for sharing! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
journeyman Posted August 5, 2007 Share Posted August 5, 2007 I can understand the concept . . . often when I figure it out, it is a "doh" moment follow up thought: those who persist in thinking there will be pizza at the Chinese restaurant may become like Don Quixote, fighting battles that don't need to be fought because they result from a mistaken premise Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sojourner Posted August 5, 2007 Author Share Posted August 5, 2007 [quote name='XIX' post='1350096' date='Aug 5 2007, 01:14 AM']I have to admit I'm a bit perplexed. I would have a tough time dealing with the idea that there would be a desire in my heart and nothing to fulfill that desire. Perhaps I am going off of the false assumption that it's a holy desire? Eh. I'm a bit confused. I'm not faulting anyone or saying that Terra should have gone into more detail or anything. I...I dunno. I'm just saying. I'm sure this confusion on my end is largely a function of not knowing Terra's specific situation... Thanks for sharing![/quote] It's not that there's nothing EVER to fulfill the desire, just not where I'm looking. The desire for pizza may be right and good and pure, but if I'm looking to fill it in a place where there's no pizza, it leads to a lot of problems. [quote name='journeyman' post='1350483' date='Aug 5 2007, 03:30 PM']I can understand the concept . . . often when I figure it out, it is a "doh" moment follow up thought: those who persist in thinking there will be pizza at the Chinese restaurant may become like Don Quixote, fighting battles that don't need to be fought because they result from a mistaken premise[/quote] That's a great point, and totally true. I think a lot of the struggles I had with this particular issue stemmed from the mistaken premises. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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